to expect my friends 2y 10mth old dd not to scream every time she doesn't get what she wants?

[mytetherisending]

Have just had my friend with 2 dcs over this am for lunch and have had to put up with her dd who is the same age as mine screaming blue murder when she had to share/take turns/eat lunch/ been told no toys on the table Am I expecting too much in that I at least expect her to apply consequences when her dd does this i.e. time out etc. She just kept repeating 'no darling, don't do that' 'no darling, you have to share don't you' in a baby voice. This approach certainly isn't working for her.

I am because toward the end of the morning my dd who doesn't scream was trying to copy her, for which she got sent to time out.

YABVVU, get over yourself. It's called the terrible twos for a reason. Glad you're not my friend. The subtext of this post is also that your child is an angel. Just wait...

So don't be friends with her anymore, then

Wow, it's worked on four toddlers. It must be foolproof then...

Try time out with my DS1 and he gets worse and worse and worse consistantly

all children are different,

Not an angel by default though, just by good discipline that works

I had an afternoon at a friend's house the other day, her ds was a delight, sharing and laughing. My dd1 (2.6) screamed, cried, whinged and lost his Bob the Builder balloon (...more screaming, from her not him!), my dd2 (16 months), also spent the afternoon crying and clingy (teething). It would have been an horrendous afternoon, had it not been for the grace and loveliness of my friend, who never once made me feel uncomfortable.

I hope you didn't make your friend feel uncomfortable, because it can be hard enough, coping with stroppy children, without dissaproval from your friends.

Anyway, got to go out. Obviously I am completely irrational for thinking that parents should set boundries for their dcs and the little darlings should all do whatever they like in other peoples houses

screaming ds as well when he doesn't get his way (learnt probably from his sister I suspect).
No I didn't make her feel uncomfortable and I do feel sorry for her having to deal with them. She said something like 'if you behave like that we won't be invited back' within my earshot, to which I said 'don't be daft, its what children do' and went on to make excuses like they were getting tired, unfamiliar place etc, etc. Unfortunately I got annoyed because dd1 was starting to copy her dcs and basically told dd1 that she was not to copy, so she stopped.

I didn't have any bad behaviour from my daughter at 2.5 either, mytether.

My word, I've had some since though - despite thinking that I also use "good discipline which works". She's seven now and you would be horrified by the tantrums she can throw and the yelling she can come out with - nothing to do with bad parenting, just the way children are sometimes.

One day, and I can guarantee you this, it will be your daughter who is behaving badly and your friends tutting over it. You may think that can't possibly be the case, but it really is. They all push the boundaries at some stage or another.

You have to pick your battles. And for most of us, punishing a toddler for being a toddler simply isn't a battle worth picking.

was going to post something then saw OP turn her nose up on her way out and thought "sod it, not worth it....her time will come and I will not be offering support when it does"

Serves her right for posting in AIBU doesn't it?

guess none of your vast experiance of 4 toddlers would happily wet themselves, throw up, hurt themselves or break anything within reach if forced into a time out then?

for the record, it works very well for my ds and he does get time outs and put in his buggy etc..... he still whinges and screams some days, he's 2, that's what they do.

as for dd....... well, i'd be happy for you to try and tame her with time outs and reprimands even the playschool who don't see the worst of it by a long shot are baffled by her inability to do as she's told, and she doesn't wet herself in a tantrum or attack them.....

Puppy (WALTER!)

I would always take a different tack with my DC's outside my own home, with some exceptions (like hitting out). I don't want to make things more unpleasant than they have to be whilst being at guest at someone's home - Just like I wouldn't let my DH have it at a dinner party if he said something to piss me off, the way I would if he was at home with just me (lol at notion of attending a dinner party any time lately).

That age is ridiculous. Even the best behaved kids can have a really off day, especially if they're tired or a bit off weather.

Neerly - Knob!

Obviously you should restyle yourself as a childcare guru. I mean, 4 toddlers??! Wow!

har har just you wait your smugness will soon end, dc are not robots, and yes you should be more tolerent of screaming toddlers, and next time make a mental note not to be so smug

Why on earth did you post asking for opinions?@OP. You obviously have everything in your life so beautifully under control

YAB totally U.

may be your friend only wants to use time out for serious misdemeanours such as aggression/violence/deliberately breaking things. Using it for screaming and toys on the table () is far too punitive.

The whole cult of "time out" in todays parenting practuce is so irritating, it's used inappropriately, indiscriminately and far too bloody often!!!

Amongst some parents/professionals there's a radical move away from complete control of your child and impeccable behaviour being the ultimate goal to listening/validating and undrestanding.

You should try it

p.s. I have a theory. You get away without the terrible twos then you are ore likely to get something far, far more scary...the terrible teens. Good luck with that!

Yes, I have looked after lots and lots of toddlers and NONE have been as naughty as my own! Minded Kids are always better for me as im not their mum! It's totally different when you are minding others to dealing with your own.
Maybe your friend was trying not to add to an already stressful situation and thoought that by being calm and not doing strict time out regime, she would be able to minimise screaming. It is stressful when kids do this when you are visiting others, give her a break!

I hate time out.

I only use time out as a way of calming my (very big, very bright, very boisterous) DS down. It's an absolute last resort.

I think the whole Naughty Step approach is a load of old fanny.