To wish Sister would stop harrassing us for money?

[VivaLasVegas]

Sorry, I have had to name-change as username was too recognisable.

Basically my daughter (16) went to live with my sister in August. There were loads of problems at home and sister offered so she went. We are very grateful for that.

Anyway we give her the child benefit we receieve for DD but she is constantly asking for more money.

First it was that DD had decided to join college so sister asked us for the admin fee and some money for uniform she needed. This came to nearly £100. I gave her it but reminded her that we couldn't keep shelling out £100 here and there, I still have a DD at home to support.

Next thing was that DD had decided to join army cadets so sister was on the phone asking for money for stuff she needed for that. This time it was £20. I told her she had the child benefit and she said I was being selfish.

After that it was a trip DD was going on, sister wanted us to pay for that. I said no.

Thing is it is my sister that is getting her into all these things and she then expects us to pay for it all. I have another daughter at home to current DH and just can't afford what she is asking for every 5 minutes.

AIBU?

She was really horrible to DH when she lived here. Always taking the piss out of him, calling him names, starting arguments. She was taking drugs and drinking and smoking. And we had dd2 to think about.

I think it would actually be kinder in the long run to cut contact and PAY YOUR SISTER for the job of foster carer. She's clearly doing a better job of it that you have been.

This has to be a troll, seriously who behaves like this.

I was torn between them both.

Oh ok. I'm not fully conversant with the rules of trollery. But surely this thread has all the hallmarks?

Is there any wonder she was horrible to your husband?

ffs, if this is for real I am truly saddened for the poor girl.

I'd be horrible to a man who was taking half my wages too.

Someone please please tell me this is a wind up and op hasn't really chosen DH over her daughter and is then complaining about the sister that has taken her in.

please ?

ok getting sick of being called a troll. I'm leaving this thread now.
thanks anyway

She was taking drugs drinking and smoking ,but you complain when she continues her education and joins clubs that won't tolerate this sort of behaviour?

Are social services involved?

'She was really horrible to DH when she lived here. Always taking the piss out of him, calling him names, starting arguments. She was taking drugs and drinking and smoking. And we had dd2 to think about.'

Because she's a kid. And you, the adult, dragged her to live with someone who didn't like her and, because she was still a minor, she had no choice in the matter.

Yet you somehow see this as all her fault?

And now you have your daughter with your DH du jour to think about so that's more important?

God, I hope to hell you are a troll, because if not you're a fuckwit of the highest order.

OMG. She ran away, then had the courage to come back home again, and got kicked out anyway when she got there?

She's 16! She's a child!

She can't of been that bad. she was working afterall. Alot of teens I know never have any intention of working anywhere

your daughter sounded very unhappy at home
why, if you don't even need to claim tax credts, did your dh need to demand half her wages???

she is now getting a chance to straighten out her life and you and your dh seem determined to to assist her at all

"God, I hope to hell you are a troll, because if not you're a fuckwit of the highest order."

Absolutely Expat

I'm a complete lurker, but I just have to post on this!

My older cousin (mum's brothers daughter) lived with us when we were younger. She didn't get on with her parents and they had very little to do with her, they never gave my mum and dad a penny for her "keep" My parents did everything for her from the age of 15.

She has a fabulous career now and lives the other side of the country. They've never seen their grandchildren or met her husband. my Dad gave her away on her wedding day and her DCs my parents granny and grandad.

I don't know if they regret their actions but they're old now and must think about her.

Don't let this get to that.

Oh, that's all right then.

I am sorry but you are awful. You let your husband throw your daughter out.

How can you choose your own flesh and blood over your new husband.

No wonder she was drinking and smoking. Can't you see you stupid stupid woman she was crying out for some attention.

the poor girl. she will be affected in having to leave the family home so young.she will have already picked up on your lack of support. be very surprised if she has anything to do with you when shes older.

ok, i have been a regular mnsnetter for over a year now, i never name change and i stand by everything i'm about to say!

i have never read such a selfish, stupid, ignorant set of posts from someone purporting to be a mother in all that time.

grow a backbone, put your children first, get a bloody job and support the child YOU gave birth to - tell your 'dear' husband to fuck off, he knew the score (or should have done) when he married you, you came with a child who deserves a lot more than you are giving (and i don't necersarily mean money)

thank god for your sister.

This kind of thing happens all too often i really wouldn't be surprised to find it's true

OP I can't believe your first choice wasn't your own flesh and blood. There is nothing to be torn between.