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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think will not bother with MN any longer

275 replies

ellie35 · 07/10/2008 16:48

Hi all,
AIBU to feel like not bothering any longer with MN. Have tried on loads of occasions to join in threads but seem to be constantly ignored. Can't decide if this is just a clicky club or just a lot of rude people. I have never been offensive or rude to anyone but do not seem to be able to cross the newbie threshold.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 07/10/2008 16:49

Well it's up to you really
Maybe you should be offensive or rude and get yourself noticed!

MN is a BIG place

suzywong · 07/10/2008 16:50

do you have a particualrly witty or needy streak?
those seem to be the key factors

surely there must be some self help websites you could look in to?

poppy34 · 07/10/2008 16:51

as cd says mn is big place - sometimes peopel pick up on what you say , others they don' but its not personal

must say the threads I enjoy most are the ones that kick off and I can enjoy from the sofa in peace

PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 07/10/2008 16:51

how long have you been here??

and also, maybe getting a very obvious name might help, as the names seems to stand out on some posters

SixSpotBurnet · 07/10/2008 16:51

If you want to give it one more chance - then join the threads that resonate with your particular interests - e.g. there are some mumsnetters who post mainly on Culture Vultures, or whatever - you're much more likely to make friends that way than just chipping in your bit on a huge general ding-dong type thread.

MadreInglese · 07/10/2008 16:51

start a thread on SAHMs vs WOHMs or breast vs bottle or lentils vs sausage rolls, that'll get you some attention

Fimbo · 07/10/2008 16:52

You need a thick skin to MN.

Original poster
ellie35 · 07/10/2008 16:52

I find it a sad recommendation that the best way to get noticed is to be offensive or rude, surely if you make the effort to put some input in to thread it would nice for someone to acknowledge you, rather than ignore your post and chat only to MN you already know!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 07/10/2008 16:52

ellie sorry you feel ignored. Just because people don't address you specifically it doesn't mean you're not contributing.

Have you tried asking specific people questions by name?

There are so many people on here. Sure some of them 'know' each other simply because they're very regular or have been on for years but please don't let it put you off. It's a great place MN.

minorbirdOnElmstreet · 07/10/2008 16:52

Hi Ellie, I read once that it takes a year of posting on a daily basis to become a regular on MN. Also, a distinctive name helps and posting in the lively spots like the Bar and other groups. Don't give up! I am a recent lurker turned poster and I larve it here and dip in and out as the mood takes me.

Kewcumber · 07/10/2008 16:53

too many people post on threads to be acknowledged if you did an analysis of every poster you would realise lots of people go unacknowledged.

Besides the point of MN is not to be heard but to pontificate (you can pretend you are being heard if you like but I find its not really essential)

CountessDracula · 07/10/2008 16:53

IT'S A JOKE

You also need a sense of humour on here!

suzywong · 07/10/2008 16:53

for example I will be at once needy adn witty to countessdracula, because she and I " know" each other from way back
observe

Hey CD, ................oh shite, 5 shirazesesses and dh not talking to me because my teeth are stained purple has kickedin and the battery on my laptop is about to go render me needless and witless l.....;............

tiredemma · 07/10/2008 16:54

I have been here five years- some of my threads still go unanswered, Im still hardly recognised.

So what? just join in- thats what I do, im not here to be popular but to join in, debate and have a laugh!

jangly · 07/10/2008 16:54

Just because you haven't been answered doesn't mean you haven't been read and taken notice of. Threads are ongoing things where people continue discussing without commenting on all the input. Its usually very interesting. Too much so!

Kewcumber · 07/10/2008 16:54

if you were standing in a room of 100 people all talking at the same time. You would notice the people being loud and obnoxious and the ones being amusing and the ones you'd seen a lot before.

PsychoAxeMurdererMum · 07/10/2008 16:54

CD was joking I am certian!!!

name helps. truly

and posting on AIBU

CountessDracula · 07/10/2008 16:54

You sound tbh like you are taking it all a little seriously

You need a new name too
Let's think of something to make you stand out
What are you into??

CountessDracula · 07/10/2008 16:55

how about
nellietheelliephant

SaintGeorge · 07/10/2008 16:56

Wow, you give up easily.

A dozen or so posts and you are flouncing (which is obviously the classic way of getting attention, brownie points for that).

You can't expect people to acknowledge every post by name but it doesn't mean you are getting ignored, just a little lost in the crowd.

Grit your teeth, dive in a bit more and toughen up.

This is a rough town

FioFio · 07/10/2008 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kewcumber · 07/10/2008 16:56

I post a lot on adoptions and West London local as a result on general threads people who "know" me from thse threads tend to acknowledge my posts. I had to put a lot of hard work typing guff advice for a long while to get to that point.

zippitippitoes · 07/10/2008 16:56

wanting to be noticed is a bit needy

you just need to post

that is the start and finish of feeling part of mn

no rocket science or inner knowledge required

theinsider · 07/10/2008 16:56

Is 35 your age, year of birth or number of children?

FAQ · 07/10/2008 16:56

Just want to echo what everyone else says. For some of us regular prolific posters (who have more 51 threads on "threads I'm on" often we'll miss updates on another MN'ers thread and it will be "lost" off the bottom of threads I'm on - so we'll ask (hijack) on another thread.

I frequently don't have my posts acknowledges - try not to take it personally - there are 1000's of posts a day on MN impossible for each and every poster to be noticed every time

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