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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get slightly fed up with post's about 'gifted and talented' children

268 replies

MrsMertle · 03/10/2008 15:58

because I think some of them are just an excuse for parents to show off, when what they really want to say is "look at my DC, they are so much cleverer than yours!!"

OP posts:
mabanana · 04/10/2008 22:58

I think it is completely normal for a two year old to ask how an engine works on a bus or for a seven year old to ask who were the first rulers etc.
My six year old asked what happened to the Parliamentarians when the monarchy was restored. I had a fascinating time researching that!

Piffle · 04/10/2008 23:00

yes at age 7 it's a piece of piss
Try googling Chinese language info
In actual fact
Ds1 leaves house at 7:45
Breakfast we share then I'm sorting out other two kids and he is sorting out his bag
He does Chinese after school, then art til 6 then home 6:40
Dinner at 7
Homework thereafter
Myvquality time is zero.
With him
He is way beyond me intellectually

seeker · 04/10/2008 23:03

Not sure it does depend on the questions. My children ask lots. Some I can answer, some we can look up and some are unanswerable but we can talk about a lot. And some are just off the wall completely!

And actually, I would expect a 2 year old to ask how an engine worked.I have tried to explain, using my very shaky knowledge - before I relaized that Top Gear was the answer to my prayers! And I would certainly expect a 7 year old to ask about why some people are in charge and others aren't.

avenanap · 04/10/2008 23:03

ds has always been like this so it normally doesn't bother me (unless I'm really tired and in need of a nap!). He will happily read a book or play with Lego, which is fine with me.

I'm not sure about the social classes, I was from a very poor family and always in the top classes (apart from science beause I did badly in one test despite getting 98% for the next one. I was moved into the middle for some science lessons beause there was no space in the class above). It is a money problem, the whole school thing is about money, which is a great shame. The David Attenborough book sounds fab.

mabanana · 04/10/2008 23:04

Surely a really clever older child can find things out on their own? Why is it a problem if they are cleverer than you? Isn't that fantastic? Surely it's what we all want. Clever, able children.

Remotew · 04/10/2008 23:04

I cannot always help with schoolwork now, thank god for the internet, before this it was a decent set of encyclopdia's, but we can still teach them about life.

StewieGriffinsMom · 04/10/2008 23:06

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Message withdrawn

seeker · 04/10/2008 23:08

Actually, piffle, I bet he isn't intellectually way beyond you. He may know more stuff in some areas - but you have so much more knowledge and worldly awareness than he has - he can sort out his own Chinese research. And if he can't and you can, he isn't way beyond you!

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 04/10/2008 23:08

hmm...whilst I would love a child that is cleverer than me (not that difficult), I would also possibly feel a bit scared....not sure if I make sense...or scared might not be the right word, possibly more inadequate, lol
saying that nt children can be mindboggling....ms rather interested in the dead and death at the moment...

mabanana · 04/10/2008 23:11

I honestly never have a problem with ds's cleverness or constant questions (apart from the totally usual irritation from time to time). Actually, apart from knowing he is in the top sets for things, I have little idea how he compares to others, as his Aspergers makes him so different, and his social behaviour is so immature and leads to so much social isolation that I don't actually spend a lot of time with his peers. And to me that's a hell of a lot more worrying than a child asking interesting questions. I'm sorry if I sound rude, but I do get wound up by this sort of thing. And I honestly don't get it. I thought everyone hoped for clever kids who could sail through their schoolwork, run fast, be tall and goodlooking, play sports, draw beautifully, play the piano, have lots of charm, make friends easily blah blah. We usually don't get the full package, naturally, but surely nobody has kids thinking, 'gosh I hope they really struggle with schoolwork/ won't be able to walk properly/have chronic acne/have Aspergers/have no friends. In this world surely being clever is a good thing?

mabanana · 04/10/2008 23:13

I agree Seeker! The fact that they bombard you with questions doesn't mean they are cleverer than you are - it's when they bombard you with answers, research the cheapest gas company and can do your tax return that they are probably smarter than you - wouldn't that be fantastic?

StewieGriffinsMom · 04/10/2008 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 04/10/2008 23:19

well, of course nobody will be hoping for a child that struggles....but I could imagine that a very clever child can be, erm, intimidating...

in case of es, well, as I have basically two left hands in arts and crafts in all way, despite being righthanded...I expected any child to be more advanced then me, but of course es is far better than that....
ms and ys, who knows which real talents they have....
tbh, I never actually really thought abotu inteligence, as such...all I hope for is , that my children lead a happy and healthy life, whatever that may means....
my ms, is a rather chatty child, and that is tiring in itself, so, I could imagine that constant difficult questins can sometimes become tiring...

Remotew · 04/10/2008 23:19

Yes it is a good thing but I can also come with problems socially. Fitting in especially when they are in the teens. DD gets on great with her friends at school but not outside of it. She won't run with the crowd. May not be linked but I think it probably is.

avenanap · 04/10/2008 23:20

Lol! You can train them Just kidding. I think it depends on what they do with the answers. Take the Newtons Law for example, ds read a book (horrible science), then asked whether he was right to apply them to the car. Then he took the answer and related it to a person running, then took this and started talking about the energy making the muscles in the body work. I lost him at this point, possibly earlier. I do get alot of questions like this. They normally lead off into something that makes me stop and think 'I'd never thought of that'. It's refreshing more than anything else.

Remotew · 04/10/2008 23:22

avenanap, enjoy it, he will tire when he realises you don't know and will bypass you .

Piffle · 04/10/2008 23:23

ds1 thought of a new pythagorean triple thing regarding prime number sequencing.
His head of maths had to send off to Cambridge to get it checked over
He is clevere than me in everything other than
Worry
Childbirth
Russian ( so far anyway)

Luckily I'm hitched to a physics graduate DP (not ds1s dad ( prof muso dyslexic since you need to know) and he ponders new scientist with him.

Seriously academically I was bright, very very bright
He imvho is miles beyond me
And if it were just maths I'd be less vocal
But across the board he is above in every subject
With little visible effort I amloathe to admit

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 04/10/2008 23:24

avena, if it is any consolation, your ds would have lost me far far earlier, lol

mabanana · 04/10/2008 23:25

He sound an amazing boy! Well done him. DOes he enjoy doing these things?

Remotew · 04/10/2008 23:28

Piffle, did you get my email? Sent it last night.

avenanap · 04/10/2008 23:29

He's just announced he wants to learn anatomy with me so he can help me! He's interested in Philosophy so I'm looking for someone he can have a chat with. He doesn't have to try either, he normally gets things straight away which is really annoying!

The pythagorean thingy sounds really cool!

It's a shame about dd's friends outside school eve. Are there any clubs she can join to help?

avenanap · 04/10/2008 23:33

Lol! Thanks FreakyLady. I could briefly remember about Newton so was OK with this. I'm getting alot about women's rights at the moment which I am finding rather odd. He does enjoy all this, I just don't bat an eyelid any more.

FreakyLadyFrightALot · 04/10/2008 23:35

I suppose you just get used to it.....I suppose

avenanap · 04/10/2008 23:39

Yes. I've learned not to talk to him about certain things. Law for example is really not a good idea. Especially the Human Rights Act. I don't know how we even got onto the topic but he tried the freedom to have personal possessions against a teacher who had confiscated Lego off him. This was a very, very bad move. I think I get carried away sometimes and I have to remember to stop talking to him about things because he doesn't need to know. It's a learning curve for me to.

Remotew · 04/10/2008 23:40

She is helping at a club with a mate for DofE (brownies type thing), she has arranged to go to lunch tomorrow with another friend so its not as though she is isolated. It's more that she won't do the teenage stuff e.g hanging around, shoplifting .

I seems like she feels its dumbing down, my words not hers. I'm hoping when she get older she will get out more.