To get slightly fed up with post's about 'gifted and talented' children

[MrsMertle]

because I think some of them are just an excuse for parents to show off, when what they really want to say is "look at my DC, they are so much cleverer than yours!!"

I remember reading one once where a woman was going on about her 3 year old DS and how he loved bird spotting so she'd sat him at the PC and HE was typing all these different species of bird into images.google etc.

I do think some are far fetched and its a bit when you read them...

(e.g. "DD (2) has finished all the harry potter books and finds them a bit too easy, can anyone recommend anything a bit more advanced?" lol )

Sorry, hecate, I knew I hadn't explained myself very well. I meant my daughter is very stubborn.

YABU - don't read tehm! I find child modelling quite offensive, so simply don't read 'em!

BTW DD isn't a PFB?

I am not bothered about the G&T register at school. I was just proud the school had finally noticed she could read a good 2-4 years above her ability. Nothing wrong with being proud of your children's achievements.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe nothing wrong with being proud.

hell no! I am proud as punch of my 2 - why should any parent be made to feel that they can't be proud of their kids?

I see kids who do far more than mine will ever achieve - when parents talk to me, I am pleased for them and it's nice to see that the child is loved! And it doesn't diminish the achievements of MY children one little bit!

Be proud! If your child is reading fluently at 2 years old, or if they said their first word at 7yrs old , you have equal right to be proud!

well I nearly wet myself with pride when dd said mum. It took me ages to get her to say it. then there she was about 12 she said it. I am quite sure I told every one. and same again when she got "dry".
she may be severly disabled, but she is my pride and joy. so who am I to tell some one esle of for bragging about their dc.

Schools do have targets to meet re children on the g&t register.

Genuine giftedness is incredibly rare, and true geniuses often have a lot of other issues ie social/emotional etc. You only have to look at the truely great artists/composers/musicians/anyone really who is exceptionally good at something. They are nearly always a bit... odd/excentric/have mental health issues etc.

I do think the g&t register does children a disservice. And I think it's wrong for children to be labelled at such a young age. recognize individual achievement by all means, but grouping all children of similar ability into a category just seems wrong to me.

And it is definitely a way for competitive parents to be even more competitive.

G+T register is balderdash.
Every school is encouraged to put the highest achieving few pupils from each class on the register cos it makes the school look good and they get funding for each g+t child. the kids get diddly squat out of it.

I think it is a mistake to believe that all G&T children (or adults) have social issues. Some do, some don't. Sometimes it is probably related to the giftedness, sometimes it may be a thing apart.

Of course, there are some extremely well publicised examples of tragic geniuses but one tends to forget the ones that were not tragic at all. There is no evidence that Shakespeare or Virgil or Bach had social problems. They seem to have been well-integrated people who had no difficulty in adapting to society.

Mozart may have had social problems, but that doesn't make him a greater genius than Bach.

On a slightly more mundane level, I have met quite a few high-ranking academics in my day. Some of them are eccentric, some are not, but IME you cannot judge the genius of their minds from the level of eccentricity; some of the most normal-seeming ones turn out to be quite remarkable people and some of the mad-professor types don't actually turn out terribly good research.

I am all for offering support for those who have gifted children with problems and I think the G&T section is an excellent place for doing so; those who don't like it can read elsewhere.

But what I don't like about the section is the scare-mongering that goes with the idea that early development/giftedness has got to equal social problems. Then you get all these threads of 'oh dear my 1 yo ds knows more words than his mates, will he have problems integrating at school' (made up example, but the gist is there).

The reason I don't like it is that it's risky. There is such a thing as self-fulfilling prophecies. If you expect your child to have social problems you may end up creating them or at least augmenting them.

The other side of this coin is the idea that social SN=giftedness. So when you find a parent posting about ASD-like behaviour, someone will invariably pop up with 'oh he/she is no doubt very gifted'. Again, it does not follow. Many children on the autistic spectrum are gifted, but not all. And believing that your child has got to be gifted won't help if they're not.

But I have every sympathy with parents who need somewhere to talk because the giftedness and the problems seem so closely woven together. Let's be generous and offer any help we can.

As others have said YABU. Don't read them.

MrsMertle, totally agree with your post.

Being proud of your children is a great thing. It makes me sad that sometimes I underplay or just don't mention their abilities and achievements because there are people present who would sneer or roll their eyes and call it boasting. Luckily my real life friends are all generous enough to recognise what's great about individual children and feel able to express that with reference to their own and to others. Why is OK to get praise for your children from others but not say it yourself? It seems fine to say someone is pretty or sporty or kind - but clever seems to get negative reactions - it's like an publicly acceptable prejudice. So what - we are all good at something - the G+T threads are just people trying to work our how to get their children to play to their strengths - don't we all want that?

I reckon it is just a gimmicky government initiative anyway, will probably blow over in 5 years time. Some people have just gone a little OTT about it.

The concept was to identify children that had potential to go all the way, ie onto a good degree whereas some (not all) may have failed through the state system. Don't forget many have.

I don't agree that it was a bribe to keep middle class children in state schools. It's helped in our case. Wish people didn't get their knickers in such a twist about it.

And the though of having a G&T used to be so appealing. Now I hardly dare order one.

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the label made feck all difference to me for ds1. (15)
Whatever the topic is labelled I'll post if I need as it changes nothing for us!
He has issues relating to his giftedness
Thankfully he now has online community of likeminded kids to chat too.
I mean I am utterly thankful
I have a 5yr old dd with visual SN who is in the govt sweep GT of above average.
We shall see what transpires, for sure she is smart as a cookie in a tuxedo but I myself cringe at the label upon her aged5 and secret it away!

OOPS In my case obviously stands for Glazed and Tired

Piffle, what is the online community if you don't mind me asking. Does DS not have any like minded friends at school. Genuine question relating to my DD.

hmm...well, my es is on the g&t registre in arts....and he is doing a masterclass now ...which he hates, because it is boring and possibly more so, because it is n a saturday...but he committed to it originally, so he will have to do it....nasty parenbts alert, lol

I think sometimes the post in g&t are maybe silly, forinstance proud pfb mummys asking if their 10 month old is a genious because they can crawl...lol...but of course, it can be an issue....think the film "Little man Tate" brings that across lovely!

ds is highly gifted and he's not been hot housed. He was smiling and laughing at 2 weeks, walking at 10 months, at 14 months he'd learnt the alphablet, shapes and numers from a toy bus that he'd been given for his 1st birthday. I resent the accusation that he's been hot housed. He's always been inquisitive and wanted to learn. He's like a sponge and just soaks everything up but I know that his childhood is just as important as keeping him stimulated aademically. He spent reception in a state school and he very quickly became anxious and was showing signs of depression at 5! I moved him to a private school beause the head had specific G&T knowledge. I've seen other children at this school who's parents take them home at the end of the day with extra homework. They spend all weekend doing homework and they spend most of their holidays doing work but even then they are not up to ds's level. I'm not boasting. This site has given me support when I needed it as I am alone. I don't have anyone to turn to for advice. It's not just the aademic stuff, it's the social problems we encounter and the isolation. You might think it's easy raising a child like this but it really isn't. It's draining most of the time. How do you explain Newtons laws to a 5 year old who's asking you about them?

It is a term that is used too much. The top 10% of one school may not contain the same children if they all move to another school. It's merelya tick box exercise because the government don't want these children to move into the private sector because the schools can't manage them. It didn't work for us because a highly gifted child has as many social and emotional needs as a child on the opposite end of the scale. No parent chooses a child with special needs, it's our lot and we have to support them no matter what. Please think about parents like me before you make threads like this.

YABU - why is it your choice what people post about, just block the topic and hey presto problem over.

should be numbers by the way.