to think it is out of order taking 4 maternity leaves in a row from the same employer?

[bodybag]

this woman, i am supposed to work with has barly been there in 6 years!

don't you think it's a bit out of order from the same employer to have to cover all that for 1 person?

When I worked for a bank, as a contractor and very far off from having babies myself, a woman I worked with did get pregnant twice very quickly. While it didn't bother me, it did cause a lot of resentment amongst the team, she still got her bonuses!

Eventually though there was a(nother) round of redundancies (this was around 2001, 2002) and she was on her bike (so in hindsight it worked out quite well for her really!)

While it is the law, I do feel for particulary the smaller businesses when this happens...

aha, the fat bashing has begun. Now I know who yuo are...

At the end of the day ML is enshrined in law so people like OP (who is obviously on the wind up) can piss and moan about it as much as they like. Makes not one whit of difference. Cos it's the law. See?

No I don't I'm on my second in 3 years and if I wasn't so old, nor ill during pregnancy and labour didn't hurt so much I'd keep going.
For some people work is their life (i'm guessing you) but for others they work to live and their life is their family - I'm in this catagory and I hope she is happy.

The employer usually claims most if not all of the money back, so its not like it is a massive cost to them that way.

No I don't think it is out of order bodybag. What should she do, desist from having children or quit her job?

Well I've changed my opinion after reading this thread. I just assumed ML was a big cost to the employer but it turns out that's not the case. So if they're not losing out financially, and just have to provide cover, that's not too bad.
Bodybag, if you're not a troll, you need to take this up with your employer. He/she needs to fill the gap left by your pregnant colleague.

Me too Riven! Power to the MOTHER!

I've had hyperemesis with both my pregnancies and my employers actually told me to go off sick way before I started mat leave. They couldn't watch me run to the toilet ten times a day, throw up in my bin, turn green on smelling their coffee for very long and tbh I don't blame them. Do I feel guilty for going on sick? Nope. Do I feel guilty for taking maternity leave? Nope. Why? Because I'll be bearing children for a relatively short space of time compared to the amount of years I'll be contributing in tax and NI and my children might end up being carers to the mountain of old people that are taking over the world. It's all swings and roundabouts.

Bodybag LOL are u serious???? I am sure if she had 4 kids and was on benefits you would moan that she was taking ur tax

To add fuel to the fire, I have heard women say many times that they will play the system at work re maternity pay and when they have children. One I also know has been out six years having four children. She has no intention of going back after the final one, now is that fair on the employer? Now her employer is a huge multi national so you could say they can afford it. However 55% of business in the UK are small - 15 people or less. Both me and my DH run our own business, when someone says they are going to have a baby, fair enough. But the reality of covering that it damn tough on the employer. Especially as has just happened to DH woman in question has on the day before going back to work annouced she isn't.
Of course woman have babies and thank god legislation is there to protect them but believe me from the employers side it is a serious problem. And before someone says "oh the rich employer" as someone said further up... you run your own business you work your arse off and to be played by women who have no commitment at all when you have supported them, hurts you and the team around them.

I had 3 in a row of one, but resigned at the end of my mat leave for the 3rd. I'd requested a career break of 2 years to see me through the worst bit.

I did feel guilty, but I also worked very very hard and when they said No I just accepted it and moved on.

All that aside, they can't dictate how many children I can have - thats up to the individual surely? I certainly do not begrudge anyone on mat leave........

off one (as in one employer)

She should have been sterilised after two surely?!
In reality if we had better maternity rights for both the family and employer people would be far more supportive.

It would be interesting to see what people think the solution is. It seems that we need a huge cultural shift to accept that children happen! But whilst addressing the needs of one side - the employee, the government has found yet another way to make the employers lives difficult. Which is madness because you need both! I would love to know what the answer it.

In a society where some risky bankers took home £22,000,000 bonuses there's got to be some money somewhere that could be used to support this.

Let me guess, BodyBag - you are a trucker called Nigel from Basingstoke. You don;t have any family - you just return to your cab for a pot noodle and a wank.

Is your colleague Long Distance Clara?

Now, keep your eyes on the road, there's a dear.

Well actually i can see your POV in a sense. it does make the working lives of those around the mother difficult. However nothing you can do about it. An BTW i did it three times - if it makes you feel any better I did feel a bit guilty.

bodybag, I have worked our who are you are.... you are my MIL....

Orangina, Bodybag is def a bloke

She#/he liked wearing pastels because they make her look real priddy.

Because I can't imagine a woman posting on a parenting site really thinks that

Or maybe I am mega naive

Sheik, you are right. He is my FIL in that case...

(being egged on by my MIL)

"Hang on, so the logical conclusion is that if a woman has four children she shouldn't be allowed to earn a living?"

surely to earn a living you have to actually be at your place of employment doing a job.

i can see where the op is coming from as the womans continuos absence due to her decision to have children is impacting on her (and other colleagues) professional life by adding to her workload.
also if it is a small business something like this could be a real problem financially.

however i agree with what others have said.it's her legal entitlement and the alternative, i.e. no legal protection/maternity leave, would be a far worse situation than having a handfull of cases like this where colleagues feel that someone is abusing the system.

however i agree with what others have said.it's her legal entitlement and the alternative, i.e. no legal protection/maternity leave, would be a far worse situation than having a handfull of cases like this where colleagues feel that someone is abusing the system.

Is having 4 children really abusing the system?

My neighbour works in a Kindergarten. She got pg & went on ML. She returned after baby born & quickly got pg again by accident.

x2

So her eldest is 7 & her youngest now 2. She had 4 kids close together 1 after the other. She didn't want to give up her job, as it would have been very difficult to get back into the workplace. As it was, knocking out 4 kids in 5 years while working was really hard going for her as it was. I think she's got the hang of it all now and won't be having any more, so she's back permanently, (P/T). I'm sure her colleagues moaned, but what's the alternative - forced abortions? Sacking? She's a great Kindergartnerin & a hard worker. She had 4 kids, now she^s stopped, now she's working again. And good on her.

It's really hard work juggling so many kids with work, her choice maybe, but hard nonetheless. YABU

YABU - it's the law and she's taken what years of campaigning has earned for women, but I do wonder if the success of this campaign will backfire. I think it has become very difficult to employ a woman of childbearing age .