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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

someone's husband picking up my son

248 replies

alice123 · 14/09/2008 22:18

was at a friends and her husband's for dinner with their dd and my ds aged 5. At dinner time my ds was watching tv (his own dvd player that he had brought).

I was not worried about making him come and sit at the table to be honest as he eats not very much and wasn't hungry and prob wouldn't have eaten the food (it was a takeaway - they hadn't cooked it). So that was why I had brought his DVD player as I expected him to not want the dinner. At mealtimes when he doesn't want the food I don't force it, or make him sit at the table as in the past mealtimes have been a real issue and he has often been sick. So if he isn't hungry I just eat and he eats if he wants to. I know it sounds a bit pandering but it was the advice of my HV and it does seem to work with him.

Anyway, the meal time came and friend's husband (who I find overbearing and intolerant anyway!)said 'right, turn this off', turned off his dvd player, picked him up and plonked him at the table. He did sit there for a few minutes (can't remember if he ate or not).

But AIBU or over protective in thinking that he shouldn't have done that and if so, should have said anything?

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 14/09/2008 23:18

I don't know any five yr olds who even own these portable DVD things.
I am truly shocked that all of his friends bring them along whilst visiting

KVC · 14/09/2008 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 14/09/2008 23:20

He was being forced to eat, just to sit at the table and partake in conversation maybe?

Original poster
alice123 · 14/09/2008 23:20

HumphreyCushion I agree, I think I should have spoken out but what to say??? that is what I would have liked to have known because whatever I said would have sounded aggressive. I would have just liked to have said' Id rather you not pick up my son' but that sounds aggressive

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 14/09/2008 23:21

Lol, I meant he was not being forced to eat. He could have sat there with a drink.
It's about manners

bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 23:21

but it backfired - did it not? what a bad example to the other child.

bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 23:22

but it backfired - did it not? what a bad example to the other child.

zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 23:22

potentially one child allowed to watch dvd = mayhem with other kids

but basically it is still you dont like this guy

Original poster
alice123 · 14/09/2008 23:22

btw eating in a restaurant isn't usually stressful because there are a few things on most menus he will eat. The puking was like a throwback to how he used to be.

OP posts:
flubdub · 14/09/2008 23:23

ALICE - and neither is the point of this thread to tell us about banged heads and stitches.....but you did .

bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 23:23

don't understand. why did you not provide you dc with food he would eat?

Original poster
alice123 · 14/09/2008 23:24

the other child is very overweight! and they force feed her, I actually find that a bit upsetting on its own but THAT is another issue

OP posts:
bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 23:25

ishoos with the dh and ishoos with the kid,

muggglewump · 14/09/2008 23:26

You chose a takeaway with food he wouldn't eat when he has issues with eating?

bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 23:26

you can't force feed a child as you know.

flubdub · 14/09/2008 23:26

oh alice - that isnt the point of this thread!

mrsruffallo · 14/09/2008 23:26

Are these friends of yours?
You are all judguing each other's children.
Sounds very unhealthy

Original poster
alice123 · 14/09/2008 23:27

I mentioned about the banged head because it is another example of this man and why I don't like him but this whole business about my son's eating is not really relevant that is why I didn't go into major detail. Just that he doesn't eat normally, my friend husband is aware of that and is being advised by medical profession.

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 14/09/2008 23:27

I'd have kept it light, I think.

Something along the lines of "thanks, but DS is happy just staying over here for now", and then I'd have led DS away from the table.

I'd then have a quiet word with the man, away from DS, to explain that this approach to eating is what has been recommended by the doctor.

If the man chose to take offence at this, dismiss your wishes, or consider you to be aggressive, then it's not a great environment in which to be dealing with your DS's eating issues.

flubdub · 14/09/2008 23:27

So if the food, wasnt food that he would eat - then he must not have eaten. You say you cant remember whether he ate or not?

zippitippitoes · 14/09/2008 23:27

hmm

holidays with friends are very revealing

you learn stuff about yourself as wel as them

bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 23:28

this post is like a sieve.[griin]

nametaken · 14/09/2008 23:29

Agree with zippi - holidays with friends usually end badly.

Feel sorry for the OP though. All she wanted to do was let off steam and you lot have given her a pasting.

Saturn74 · 14/09/2008 23:29

This thread is making my brain ache.
I'm out.

muggglewump · 14/09/2008 23:29

So, on this holiday, he had banged his head requiring syitches, regressed to how he used to be by puking in a restauarnt, and yet you saw fit to take him to a communal meal the following night with a rude man and then didn't get food he likes?

This is all very weird

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