To think people who ask for money as a wedding gift are vulgar and rude!

[mimabear]

I'm going to a wedding soon, the couple in question have lived together for several years and say they don't need anything, hence the request for money.
Now I don't mind buying from a wedding list or even giving gift vouchers, but the idea of giving hard cash (or a cheque?!) seems distasteful.
So much so that I'm not sure I shall go after all.
AIBU?

i see i am good company with the neologism. but honestly homo is man. i got in from another bit of wikipedia

This is a cracking thread - the world and his wife are here.

My most insulting wedding present was an £11 kitchen bin, from a very rich work colleague of DH.

My nicest present was two tickets to an Eddie Izzard concert, from my boss. We had a great time and it didn't clutter up our small flat, unlike all those crystal decanters and glasses

aye but did the world and his wife leave a wee gift,or mump about being asked for dirty mula

a good ole everyone piles in do indeed

Perhaps you could donate the money to charity on their behalf.
M cousin and his wife copied a silly poem from the internet requesting cash, they know that DH has a very good job and so I was duty bound to give them a lot of money. Tut tut.

i find it equally selfish and rude to specifiy money as a gift.

i really do, hob, and wouldn't want to be pals with someone who used their wedding as a money-getting vehicle.

'What did you expect.'

A question mark at the end of a query, for one .

Money-getting machine? At most weddings, the bride and groom pay out way more per head than they get back!

I just hate waste. Spending dosh imposing your tastes on someone else, or on doubling up on gifts, is just an inordinate waste on both sides. Far better to be useful, I feel.

If the bride and groom have no money or very little perhaps something along the lines of your gift of money have helped make this day special and so think of it as buying our wedding/honeymoon/car etc??
Vouchers on a wedding list is a good idea, you can never have enough John Lewis linen!!

'At most weddings, the bride and groom pay out way more per head than they get back!'

A wedding is a party that you host without thinking about the return on your investment because it's to celebrate the event in company.

At least, that's what it used to be.

I only said 'At most weddings... back!" because you said that people see it as a 'money-making venture'. I didn't say that!

What do people have against money? How can £20 in notes be tacky, but £20 in goods be acceptable? It's £20. If it's needed more than a toaster, why begrudge giving it?
Why give something that isn't needed or wanted?

Well, if you read the entire thread, you'll see that people object to being told what to give as a gift, having it be assumed that they'll even give a gift and being informed that anything other than cash isn't really wanted or welcomed.

That's what most people who find it rude object to.

It's a difference in opinion and perception on what a gift is about and why it's given.

We asked for money at our wedding, but knew that some people would find that a difficult gift to give, so asked for money or fireworks. That way the people who didn't give cash gave something that added to our celebration that very night and we didn't get any unwanted presents.

expat - two sherrys, a gin and lemonade aaaaaand half a Sol....

eh?

i don't drink gin. it's vile.

or sherry.

so you're welcome to my share.

Cheersh

notsoteenagemum - The cheesy poem,is that not unusual then? They indeed did ask for money using poetry in the invitation!!!
I didn't mention that that was how they dressed their request for cash in case it identified them.
I suggested dp write a similarly amusing poem about the vulgarity of asking for cash

Money is the most useful gift as the happy couple can get what they want.

I think some of us are getting confused about the definition of 'GIFT' here.

My definition: something I choose, that I want to give someone that I have thought about and think they would like.

Bridezilla definition: whatever I say I want, inc cash.

The latter is a 'demand'
The former is a 'gift'

imnsho

I recently had to turn down a wedding invite because it was adults only and we didn't have childcare for the weekend - not a problem, it's their choice.

Then, I got an email saying they didn't expect presents but, as some had asked what they wanted, cash would be nice, and...,

THEY INCLUDED THEIR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND SORT CODE FOR ELECTRONIC TRANSFERS!!!!

I couldn't believe it.

I didn't send anything.

We asked for Argos vouchers. We were saving for a sofa.
Some people gave us gifts of their choice. Whatever you want to do.

'THEY INCLUDED THEIR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND SORT CODE FOR ELECTRONIC TRANSFERS!!!!'

How incredibly foolish to provide such personal details in an email that could wind up anywhere, too.

YABU. Whats the problem?

Read the thread bloomingfed, plenty of us think there is a problem!