to think mothers who stop contact with their fathers for no good reason other than they need to control are sad jealous manipulative f*ckers who need to get a grip and move and stop giving every other mother who have moved on a bad name

[jojostar]

it makes me so mad AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

[ShyBaby]

Well I would appreciate it if you did not use me as an example thank you very much, because as you say..you dont know my history and I dont know yours.

You have your experiences and I have mine, we can both offer valid opinions without the need to start mud slinging I think.

[Twinklemegan]

No mud slinging from me as far as I recall.

[Monkeytrousers]

are you 'the girlfriend' perchance?

[Twinklemegan]

I beg your pardon

For your information, I am the FIRST wife of a man who was cheated on by his ex-partner.

[Monkeytrousers]

LOL

No, meant OP

[Twinklemegan]

...unless that was addressed to the OP... in which case I will retire with much

[Twinklemegan]

x-posts LOL. I'm getting too involved in the thread, which always happens. I'm off to bed.

[ShyBaby]

Me too twinkle....

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[ShyBaby]

Quite possibly

[jojostar]

I am a 2nd wife and no I'm not in the 2nd wives club nor do i want to be. HOWEVER I am also an ex wife to a so called man who neither helps supports nor pays for my 2 children. I have been left and hurt by my 1st husband and was a lone parent for 5 yrs as stated earlier. I never used my children to get at my ex and i have never given his new partner or their baby any grief as he is my Ex and although i have two children with him his comings and goings are not my concern. I am defo not a saint and i have not claimed I'm perfect either I just cant understand why some mothers use there children as pawns to get back at their exhusbands because their ex husbands have moved on and they havent

[misi]

until both parents understand that a child has two parents and the law backs this up through equality in the courts and benefit system, these arguments will continue and children loose out. according to unicef, the happiest children just happen to live in the same countries that practice the assumption of shared care/shared parenting on separation. is it no wonder in a culture whose family legal system and cultural practices preach mother at home with children, father at work to pay and on separation a solicitor/cafcass network that feeds this notion of status quo and mother at all costs just to line their own pockets?

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[wannaBe]

you know what I hate the "all men are bastards and all women are victims" attitude that persists on mn. Of course there are some bastard men out there.

But just take a look at the relationships section and see how many posters on here have horrendous relationships with their mothers, and their MILs. All those people are mothers, women. I think the proportion of bitch women is far higher than anyone wants to admit, and because society still doesn't admit that there can be bad mothers out there, it's far easier to be a bitch.

Maybe next time someone posts that their ex won't pay maintenance it should be suggested that there are two sides to every story and maybe he has good reason? didn't think so. So why is it acceptable to tell someone who states that her dh's ex is withholding access to his children for no good reason isn't telling her the whole story?

These women exist. They are far more common than people want to know. There is clear evidence of that on this thread alone.

And those that don't think that is the case need to get real.

[jojostar]

wny should children pay for what has happened in the relationship before the split? unless they are in danger or the mum/dad cant be arsed and lets them down why shouldnt the children see both paretns if they want to. I imagine that sometimes cutting all contact can apply but we are talking about no good reason....

[ShyBaby]

Well how would one remedy this misi? It's great in theory but you cant force someone to be a parent (sadly).

[Monkeytrousers]

Well it's natural for you so side with him - but maybe you don't know the whole story having only heard his side...you can undersatnd that. You don't have to become friends to try and empathise, but also you should just stand back and detach yourself from it. If he is deomonising her, beware; that usually means he has been a total twat.

[jojostar]

just thinking there am I the girlfriend perchance makes me wonder why ex wives use 'girlfriend' and not partner or 2nd wife....[hmmm]

[jojostar]

Monkey trousers have you read all the posts on this thread, he has said nothing about her I have already explained all this earlier.....

[Surfermum]

Exactly Wannabee, well said.

[jojostar]

and how am I suppose to detach when I have two beautiful 7 yr old step daughters crying and upset again infront of me... say sorry girls cant help you here maybe your dad was a twat b4 I met him ??????

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[jojostar]

I too have had apologies off women my ex husband shagged behind my back....3 are good friends but i never got him back through my kids

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[Monkeytrousers]

No I haven't Jo. Sorry