To put DD to bed without any dinner...

[PeppermintPatty]

...because she refused to eat what I've made made her.

She kept asking for a banana but I said no, she had to at least attempt to eat her soup.

She refused and had a massive tantrum She's only 14 months old, but very stubborn.

I'm certainly not going to make her something else, and I feel if I give in to her she'll be demanding a banana every meal time.

So I'm going to put her to bed without any dinner.

AIBU

YABU - my 22mo DD had a whole banana tonight at dinner time..and then ate all her dinner!

I think giving your dd a banana is fine, even if she asks for bananas a lot. Can you try mashing one up with other stuff - milk/ baby rice/porridge/other fruit so she is actually eating other things?

KVC - i suppose you are right - i too give fruit whenever he wants it (though never close to dinner because I want him to get the full nutrients of a cooked meal) I suppose i was probably talking about desserts in general - like apple crumble - things with sugar in - If it was this, then no I dont think the op was unreasonable, but a banana is fruit afterall. I would still try the soup later on

YABVVVVU. She is 14mths old and it's only a banana. Its not like its chocolate, its healthy and good for her.

You are setting yourself up for years of trouble at the table

poor baby

we used to hide the bananas from our nana obsessive

it is very frustrating but she is a baby still. She has absolutely no idea why she is hungry in bed

but at any age don't make it into a battle, she will end up with real issues about food.

YABVU - my 3 yr old DS stilleats his dinner back to front - pudding first and then main - used to cause me no end of frustration but then I figured if he's eating who cares which way round he eats?

Don't put your Dd to bed hungry, she won't understand at 14 months and you will just cause yourself more problems.

Withholding food as punishing is exercising a kind of control I disagree with totally.

I remember a woman who was a foster carer for abused children telling me to be very careful with withholding food as punishment, fooddeprivation was something she saw all the time in her young "clients", the kids had been given the no food punishment so often they were totally fucked up in regards to eating.

A banana is not a dessert, it is fruit that is packed full of nutrition.

give her the sodding banana.

she is not 10 years old refusing to eat anything but sweets, she is a baby and shw wants to eat fruit so what.

It's not that she didn't like the soup. She didn't even try it! Not even one mouthful. She looked at it and said 'nana'.

This has been happening a lot recently - since she started talking.

She was a good eater before.

I've given her a banana now. And then she asked for another one. So now she's has 2 whole bananas!!

YABU - and bordering on abusive in my opinion.

Feed your child.

PP you need a parenting course. Your expectations are out of line with reality. Please start going to toddler groups and speaking to other parents, or at least talk to us, as clearly you aren't capable of being rational if you are preparing to treat a baby like a dog.

I really do think you should contact social services and ask them for help, before you really do this baby some damage.

my youngest was a very fussy eater, and as a baby there were only a couple of things he did eat. the doc said don't worry as long as they are eating its not a problem.

And yes, I have done child protection courses, and withholding food from young children (and certainly those under 3) is considered a major red flag.

YABU, its just a banana. Your job is to provide healthy and nutritious food for your baby, which soup and banana is. It really really doesn't matter if she dips the banana in the soup and eats it like that, its all about learning about food and tastes and textures. Do you like every food available? Would you like to be given something regardless of whether you liked it or not every mealtime and if you didn't eat it you got nothing? Your baby is still learning about what she likes and dislikes, just give her something else.

confused

Your 14 month old daughter asked for fruit at meal time and you said no and sent her to bed????

confused

FOURTEEN MONTHS?? THAT IS TINY. Give her what she likes eating. She's only just learning what food is.

does anyone think that by making the pudding out to be a very big deal, we thereby devalue the main course? I get a bit fed up with my parents and ils who dicate that ds must "eat all of your main before you can have any pudding". I don't always eat all my main and still would like pudding afterwards. Sometimes you've just had enough of something, and the person eating is the only one who knows when that is. Obviously noone is most parents aren't going to let their dc eat just cake or sugary desserts and nothing else. But my ds thinks that pudding means yoghurt or fruit and I don't want him thinking that his main course is some sort of trial he has to get through to gain a holy grail of pudding. I want him to think he has two courses to his meal that usually get eaten in a certain order and he can have some of both.

just a thought, don't flame me! sorry a bit away from the topic.

to the OP, YABU, please give your dd a banana. has she gone to bed hungry tonight?

imo food shouldn't be used as a punishment. that way big issues start with food and power, be it power over parents or power over oneself.

Glad you have decided to give her banana - or two

Has she had soup before? Does she normally like it?

A 14mo does not understand the concept of 'try some of this soup and you can have that banana', she has just learnt she likes bananas and knows how to say the word.

Maybe she prefers the consistency of a banana over soup, does she feed herself the banana rather than you feeding her the soup?

Maybe try giving her a range of things she can pick up along side the banana and she may try a wider variety.

Soup as a meal? Surely she needs something a bit more filling? The banana would probably fill her up better!

Ok. Glad to see you've given her the banana.

Was about to post asking how you were going to deal with her waking in the night hungry.

Just wondering because chatting to our baker recently she told me that when her 9 mth old woke wanting milk she "didn't give in" and made her wait til it was "time".

Your approach reminded me of this attitude - would you have let her scream in the night - or given her the banana at 4am???

It's hard when your "good eater" starts getting picky but having had a DS who would eat virtually nothing at that age and had to be cajoled into every mouthful, I am going with the flow with DS2 and just happy he is eating something.

Hang on! I never said banana was pudding! And I wasn't witholding food from her!

She could have eaten the soup if she was hungry. She has eaten soup before, I know she likes it (or at least used to).

My problem was the fact that she demands a banana at meal times (as has been happening recently) and refuses to even try anything else. I didn't want it to become a habit.

I was assuming if she was really hungry she would have tried the soup. She quite often eats very little at dinner time as she has a snack at nursery at about 3.30.