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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put DD to bed without any dinner...

298 replies

PeppermintPatty · 08/09/2008 19:07

...because she refused to eat what I've made made her.

She kept asking for a banana but I said no, she had to at least attempt to eat her soup.

She refused and had a massive tantrum She's only 14 months old, but very stubborn.

I'm certainly not going to make her something else, and I feel if I give in to her she'll be demanding a banana every meal time.

So I'm going to put her to bed without any dinner.

AIBU

OP posts:
chibi · 08/09/2008 19:20

Meals in our house (15 mo dd) are main meal + yogurt + fruit. DD did similar today, didn't want to eat her tea but wanted a bana instead.

I gave the banana (she would have had it anyway!) and then she was ready to eat the main meal.

I don't think babies have any concept of 1st course 2nd course pudding.

Let her have the banana + see if she will eat anything else. You could also let her run around - my dd sometimes doesn't want to eat in her highchair so I will let her 'eat on the go'.

Hth

RhinestoneCowgirl · 08/09/2008 19:21

14 months = baby

I really wouldn't want to be making such a battle out of food. Maybe she really didn't fancy the soup? Bananas are good stuff, and toddlers go through weird eating phases... you should expect more of this!

Hulababy · 08/09/2008 19:21

I think 14m is too young for this kind of discipline. She is still a baby. Cause and consequence realy isn't developed at that age.

Doing this - sending her to bed hungry - will not help. She will now learn from it. She is too young.

MegBusset · 08/09/2008 19:21

PP, that is totally normal 14mo behaviour! The only thing to do is relax (can be hard, I know) and try not to make food a source of conflict, you will only set yourself up for more problems.

pointydog · 08/09/2008 19:21

And what on earth is wrong with asking for a banana every mealt ime?

All this meal time shennanigans is such a stressful waste of time.

Stop battling all of you. If the kid wants bread butter and banana isn't it a quick and easy solution all round? What's the battling all about?

And if it's so much better to sweat it out and send them to bed hungry, why are so many women posting on mn, nerves a-jangle.

chibi · 08/09/2008 19:21

banana not bana!

DiscoDizzy · 08/09/2008 19:22

Well there have been times when DD's were younger when I gave in and they had something other than what was offered, it never became an issue and if they tried it again they got what they were given. They generally eat whats put in front of them and now at the age of 5 and 3 they don't get anything other. At 14 months it shouldn't be a problem. The OP hasn't commented on her ever having done this before or that it is a problem, perhaps its the 1st time.

RedHead81 · 08/09/2008 19:22

well i'm obv a very unreasonable parent - BUT i will say that my DS loves all veg - even cabbage and sprouts and he knows that if he isn't hungry enough for main course, then he isn't hungry enough for dessert - there's no power struggle - if you allow your child to just eat dessert then thats not healthy. I agree with the op.

GordonTheGopher · 08/09/2008 19:23

That's shocking, sorry.

Even at ds's age (2.4) I wouldn't make him go hungry. If he doesn't eat something I'll give him something else a little later on.

She's still a baby at 14 months.

pointydog · 08/09/2008 19:23

And she won't end up eating bananas for every meal for ever.

DiscoDizzy · 08/09/2008 19:23

X post.

If she doesn't want what you've put in front of her why not just give her what you know she does like and carefully introduce other things.

herbietea · 08/09/2008 19:23

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Hulababy · 08/09/2008 19:24

A baby's tummy is so small. The poor thing will so hungry in no time at all. If you follow this through you may regret it - I can see a disturbed night ahead caused by a little child crying whe she gets hungry.

deepinlaundry · 08/09/2008 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hotbot · 08/09/2008 19:27

i would give her the banana she is only 14 mths old, too yougn for comprehension at punnishment. i couldnt send dd to bed hungry no matter how old she is, and i think i am v. strict

silverfrog · 08/09/2008 19:29

I so agree that having a battle over food is just not worth it.

Maybe the op's dd just didn't fancy soup tonight.

i always try to remember that I choose what the dds eat each mealtime (dd2 too young to choose, dd1 not capable (SN)) - I would hate to have someone else decide all my meals for me (cooking them yes, that's another thing, but choosing them ) - so, it is entirely possible that I decide to cook something that they just don't,l on that particular day, want to eat.

If it was chocolate the op's dd was demanding, that might be different, but to refuse a banana? madness, imo.

dd2 regularly eats her meals out of order (dd1 finishes before her, and moves on to next course, so dd2 gets some at same time) - yesterday she had: sausages, potatoes, blueberries, yorkshire pudding, a bit of biscuit, some raisins and a rice cake, all on her plate at the same time (in varying quantities), and se chomped her way through quite happily, choosing which bit she wanted next.

I don't understand why people think it is so wrong to let a child have some element of choice over what/when they eat.

Original poster
PeppermintPatty · 08/09/2008 19:30

So it's ok if she eats banana for every meal? Really? Won't she get ill?

She doesn't drink any milk, so I am worried about her getting enough vitamins etc. from her food. I'm probably worrying too much, I know

OP posts:
Hulababy · 08/09/2008 19:31

But why would this mean she has banana for every meal? This is one meal.

HonoriaGlossop · 08/09/2008 19:32

agree with hula particularly - trying to teach her this lesson is pointless. You could give her the banana five or ten minutes later and it will be a completely seperate occurrence in her mind!

Agree with not making food a battle ground. All you can do is present the food, jolly along with a strategy or two eg make out it's yours and let her pinch it if she thinks that's fun...that sort of thing..then if no go, she can just get down and have a banana or fruit snack a few minutes later. No big deal.

KVC · 08/09/2008 19:33

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HonoriaGlossop · 08/09/2008 19:34

agree again hula! Try not to project too much - she wants one banana suddenly becomes "she will eat only bananas for ever and get ill"!!!!! Take it meal by meal

KVC · 08/09/2008 19:36

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RedHead81 · 08/09/2008 19:36

I wouldn't make a baby go hungry - I don't think I was saying that - but I wouldn't give dessert without main course first. I would try the dinner again later - if the baby was hungry they would eat it.

Hulababy · 08/09/2008 19:38

Does your DD normally eat the soup? Does she like it normally?

Helga80 · 08/09/2008 19:39

PeppermintPatty - you seriously considering punishing a 14mo baby by depriving her of food?

You say you are worried about her getting enough vitamins, making her go hungry is not the way to do it.

Let her have a banana FGS, and since when has a banana been dessert