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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Message to the mother in Starbucks in Derby , if you are a mnetter. Please don't call your child....

231 replies

AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 17:27

stupid or a weirdo. It's really not very nice and it made my son and I really sad to hear this. Also, please do't rush her when she's eating because you have things to do. Telling her to hurry up 7 times in 5 minutes is OTT. Would it have killed you to be patient? It was not as if she was eating slowly though was it? Then you moaned at her for getting chocolate under her fingernails.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 22:22

WOW! It's not normally like this. It must be because of the school holidays.

I'd never tell you to f off Wily

OP posts:
WilyWombat · 26/08/2008 22:26

Certain things set people off, I was expecting this to be a lot worse bearing in mind how the woman without children thread went

Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 22:27

Which one's that? I don't think I've seen it.

OP posts:
Janni · 26/08/2008 22:28

I'm one of those mums who tries really hard to not label a child, to not say 'you are this that or the other...', but when DS1 got in a strop with me and stepped in front of an (admittedly slowly moving car...) the first thing that came out of my mouth was 'YOU STUPID IDIOT'. We can all have our ideals, but in the real world, dealing with real children day in, day out...it's bloody hard to always get it right.

AbbeyA · 26/08/2008 22:29

There are certain topics that are very contentious-you stray into them at your peril, if you dare voice a contrary opinion!

Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 22:30

You were shocked Janni. There's a difference between something spurting out and calling your child a wierdo and stupid because they have a bit of chocolate under their fingernails.

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 26/08/2008 22:31

I think what you say when scared stupid is a bit different Janni, and you can always apologise when you have calmed down, and explain why you said it.

Janni · 26/08/2008 22:32

You're right, Avenalife. Just using your thread to 'fess up!

mylovelymonster · 26/08/2008 22:35

I want to know where the woman without children thread is

WilyWombat · 26/08/2008 22:36

Janni I think if most of us would appreciate you were terrified and possibly say the same in that situation.

Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 22:40

You don't need to fess up. Sometimes we say things in stressful situations and regret them when we've had time to think about it because it's normally something we wouldn't say.

I've been looking for the woman without children thread, I can only think that it's the one about car parking spaces. It's really long though and I can't be bothered to look through all the posts.

OP posts:
edam · 26/08/2008 22:41

poor little girl.

WilyWombat · 26/08/2008 22:46

No its in parenting...someone was just observing that you can tell childless women because one tutted at her when she was shopping, it really quickly got unpleasant and (after all these years) I should have know better to get involved , I just didnt feel the OP deserved it.

I did have a really witty comeback for the second person who told me to F off but in the circumstances decided to just let it go

WilyWombat · 26/08/2008 22:48

I should have known better than to get involved even

Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 23:00

I really do regret posting or starting threads on here sometimes. People jump down your throat and I get really annoyed and end up writing things that I have not thought through properly. It's a shame they do this, it puts people off. It shouldn't get so personal. I know that raising a child is a personal thing though and everyone's entitled to do it their own way but some get so arsy, almost as if they want an argument or don't care who they offend. It's sad.

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 26/08/2008 23:08

I am glad it isn't just me -I often write things that I have not thought through-I should sit on my hands and not get involved!
I very often write something-have second thoughts and delete it.

Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 23:11

I get myself in a right mess sometimes and it's picked up then thrown back. I should remember not to start a thread! My ow fault really. I just felt so sorry for the poor little mite. being told to f off is so out of order though.

OP posts:
3andnomore · 26/08/2008 23:21

Maybe that mum just had a shit day?
Maybe she had PMT?
Maybe she had some very important appointemnt...fgs...and people wonder about all thos AIBU threads about people staring at them for feeding Kid xyorz or whatever....and they get told they are paranoid....
yes...really....maybe not AFTERALL

edam · 26/08/2008 23:22

I'm with you on the original point of the thread, though, Avena, sounds as if the poor little mite was being made unhappy.

Original poster
AvenaLife · 26/08/2008 23:24

I don't know. There's no excuse for speaking to a child like this because she had chocolate under her fingernails.

OP posts:
Clary · 26/08/2008 23:24

Tutter we are very swanky in Derby now you know.

We have Monsoon and Zara and oooh, everything. Well not Waitrose but there's one in Buxton y'know. or is it Bakewell...?

WRT OP, it certainly sounds unpleasant. I can see how you fwelt sad for the little girl.

But I often think DS1 is doing a stupid thing - I might say so. I might even say "that was such a stupid thing to do" - really really try not to call him stupid but cannot hand on heart say I never have.

I really try to be a good parent but sometimes my children exasperate me. Starbucks lady not me tho - don't think DD is stupid (just blardy bossy and shrill at times )

3andnomore · 26/08/2008 23:24

btw, can you tell I have had a really bad day with my own Kids

there are days when I wonder why I had Kids ( I love them, honest...but life would be easier without, sigh)

Clary · 26/08/2008 23:26

yeah 3andnomore, I shouted at them in the car today, well DS2 (5yrs).

he then went on to have an awful tantrum while out with some friends. Wonder what the MN-ers would've thought of me.

I told him if he went on like this nobody would want to have him back to tea after school (his current aim).

It ain't easy is it, as the fellow said.

3andnomore · 26/08/2008 23:27

and also, no it sounded a bit sad...but when I see these sort of threads I really start to get paranoid at what people most likely are thinking about me....had a horrible day, and I don't think I just imagined the looks I got in Asd's today, lol...

SueW · 26/08/2008 23:30

I was in Derby today. It was hideously busy, the busiest I have ever seen Westfield.

It took a bloomin age to get there too as they had shut one lane of the A52 so they could sweep the central reservation. FFS. Why couldn't they do that overnight?