Message to the mother in Starbucks in Derby , if you are a mnetter. Please don't call your child....

[AvenaLife]

stupid or a weirdo. It's really not very nice and it made my son and I really sad to hear this. Also, please do't rush her when she's eating because you have things to do. Telling her to hurry up 7 times in 5 minutes is OTT. Would it have killed you to be patient? It was not as if she was eating slowly though was it? Then you moaned at her for getting chocolate under her fingernails.

Rant over.

ok-suppose the woman was having a terrible day. suppose she had just had bad news, her car had broken down, she found out she was dying. her house is being repossessed and her dog has died.

does any of that justify calling your six old child who you gave birth to and love[supposedly] stupid and a weirdo???

no, it doesn't. Why would even that level of trauma cause a word like "weirdo" to come into your mind when watching your child eat a snack?

ok Ill give you an I agree to not using words like weirdo and stupid , but as for the hurry up, you have no idea whats going on, she may have :

1. a doctors appt and promised the muffin before
2. has GOT to get things that are necessary from the shops
3. had to be back home before dh comes home as he expects dinner on table
4. Has to collect someone from somewhere and promised said muffin before

Im sure Ive said it when Im having a really bad day and loads and loads to sort and also promised things for dd1.

I hate the feeling in this society that every move I make is questioned and listened too. Its making for a very self conscious existence for everyone.

mmm. We (me and the dcs) use 'weirdo' quite a bit, but we are joking about silly stuff that the children/ I do. Not possible they were joking around?

ARRGGGG I hate threads like this !
Why don't you butt out and stop judging !

I was in Tesco today and I pulled my DD1 by the arm round to the front of the trolley to talk to her about her behaviour .... anyone who saw that wouldn't have necessarily known that I had told her 5000 times prior to that to stop doing hopscotch on the floor tiles because she was getting in people's way, people wouldn't known that DD2 hadn't had her nap so was as miserable as sin, people wouldn't have known DD3 was only 10 days old and she wasn't overly impressed with the shite plastic seat she was sitting in and people wouldn't have known it was my first trip out with all 3 DD's by myself and it was a slightly stressful hour or so but needs must .............

Rant Over !

As someone who grew up in a family where insults like weird, stupid, idiot were used a lot, I totally agree with the OP.

but that's your problem Foghorn, not your kids! And yes I totally understand it must be difficult and frustrating trying to look after 3 kids but if I'd heard you call any of them a weirdo or stupid, I would've thought you were a crap mother. You're the adult so act like it.

Meh, others are right it is a snapshot. It makes me think of when I had picked up a very dirty DD from nursery - she was covered in mud and paint and food all over her top. We were walking along and she dawdled abit (as only a toddler knows how) and I said "c'mon hurry up filthy animal" just as a woman cycled past with her young DD in a cycle seat. She gave me a horrendous look, infact I must check she is not a mumsnetter and has posted a thread on me. Thing was, I didn't actually mean to say that, I just said it without thinking and she was filthy. I wasn't shouting or anything, infact I was smiling and DD spent the rest of the way home pretending to be various animals but I know that woman judged me.

I suspect you are projecting here. You had a horrible childhood so you see yourself in this child. She may well have a fabulous life but have been a total pain that day.

Bloody hell the kid was eating something chocolately in starbucks. It's not exactly like locking her in the cellar, is it?
I'd like to see a video of this before judging tbh. You can use the words stupid and weirdo in all sorts of exasperated ways.

but you are missing the point!!! we shouldn't EVER call our kids stupid!!!!

if WE-the people who are meant to love them most inthe whole world, who are are the biggest source of support they have, -start calling them stupid and weird then who the fuck can they think believes in them?

Well, what did the mum actually say? We don't know.
I refuse to beleive that saying 'That was completely stupid' or even 'you stupid boy' in moments of extreme provocation in an otherwise loving relationship will destroy a child's life.

I think most of us can only strive to be good parents most of the time. There will always be moments when we fall short.
It may be you just saw this Mum at a rotten low ebb and the rest of the time she's fun and loving.
Cut her some slack and remember we all do stuff others wouldn't like.

I think most of us can only strive to be good parents most of the time. There will always be moments when we fall short.
It may be you just saw this Mum at a rotten low ebb and the rest of the time she's fun and loving.
Cut her some slack and remember we all do stuff others wouldn't like.

well said stalker

Butt. out.

lol at noseache

Msdemanor - I was going to say the same thing. She cared enough to treat him to a muffin in Starbucks.

Children shouldn't be called stupid or weirdo but this was a 5 mins snapshot. Perhaps the other 99% of the time she could qualify for mother of the century?

I have a confession.

I was a horrid mum (shopping not too far away in Nottingham) last week and said to me 7 month DD (!) "Thats it, I have had enough of you".

Fortunately she didnt know what I meant.

Felt terrible and received nasty looks from people (was in M&S) but in my defence (none really, I know) I was frazzled and was desperately looking for shoes for a wedding the following day, she refused to sit in her pram and I had to carry her, argggghh - was not a good day)

Hope I am never nasty enough to call her an idiot though

what a pity everyone is so judgy these days. as mums we should be a bit more reasonable and forgiving, non?

and I can be really judgy on an off day!

was it westfield or t'other one?

You're projecting.

oh go and polish your halo why don't you (to the OP).

"Stupid" is a crap thing to say, but I have said "weirdo" on occasion.

On many occasions, but in a joking way
IE:

DS: " Mummy, can I have a Mayonaise sandwich?"

ME: "OK/NO you weirdo!!!"

Does weirdo not mean someone who is a practitioner of the weird...?

I rush my ds too. We all will have finished eating, and sometimes he is still there an HOUR later. It is sometimes hard to keep the patience when you are at BurgerKing a carbon neutral Organic vegetarian restaurant, and he is SOOO SLOWWWWW

I am going to get flamed for feeding my child burgers and mayo sandwiches aren't I.

I was a bit annoyed the other day when someone said my kids were being stupid. Didn't have the nerve to tell her off. ( at me.) I understand the OP feeling upset. Kids remember being called names. It isn't nice.

I long for a world where we all support each other without criticism as we are all capable of being less than appropriate with our kids and say things we really shouldn't.

Are you always utterly perfect Iamnot? Always upbeat, smiley, encouraging, a completely positive role model in every way? Do you always ensure they get their five a day, take two hours exercise every day, read to them whenever they want, never lose your rag? Really? Honestly?