To think people should respect my wishes on my wedding day

[Perfectinpink]

I am getting married at the end of August, everything is sorted, all going well (Miraculously). Except for one thing. On the wedding invitations, I asked people to come dressed in pink - or at least with pink touches. Pink is my favourite colour and my lovely fiance has agreed to wear a grey suit with gorgeous pink waistcoat and tie.
My dress is, obviously pink, bridesmaids are in pink, the flowers will be pink, the decorations are pink - that is the colour scheme.

Well, everyone rsvp'd but now it appears some of my friends and family are rebelling. My best friend has shown me her outfit and it is not pink. Or even purple, red, magenta, vermillion or puce! It is green. I have asked her if she couldn't get a jacket with pink in it and a hat but she refuses. It will look bloody horrible in the wedding photos.
She has got very shirty with me and has told me that apparently several other friends are ignoring the pink theme. And now my sister has said her dh is refusing to wear anything remotely pink (not even a tie with some pink in it)
It's my wedding, it's at a lovely expensive venue, I am paying for them to have a marvellous day, plenty of (pink) champagne and lovely food (all of it with a pink flavour!) and they are going to ruin everything if they persist in ignoring my request. I just want it to be perfect.
What should I do? I've even thought anbout making pink sashes for the rebels to wear but time is running out and I am running out of patience (and money).

[edam]

Oh come on headache, you have to be joining in the fun rather than being serious...? It's not a pink theme, it's demanding that everyone wears pink, whether or not they like pink or suit pink or have any pink clothes or want to waste money on an outfit they will never wear again...

Black tie is different - it's something most people would be able to wear again and it is a conventional option.

[Kewcumber]

"I will never wear the dress again" - thats fine if you can afford it but many many people can;t.

Difficult not to take the piss - the image of a load of grown-ups floating around wearing random bits of borrowed pink is irresistable.

(FWIW persobnally I wouldn't make a huge point of wearing a different colour as a point of principle but I would, I think, find the request laughable which I'm guessing isn't the result OP is hoping for)

[thumbwitch]

YABU - give them pink flowers to wear or a pink ribbon knot if flowers are too difficult/expensive/hayfeverish.

LOL at sash - that WOULD look bloody bizarre.

I had a friend who was marrying an INdian girl and whose ma was creating that he was not Indian so they made the wedding as Indian as they could and requested everyone to wear Indian clothes (saris etc.) - more than 60% of the guests complied, some didn't, and it still looked fab.

You seriously cannot dictate to people what to wear and if you try, they will refuse to show up. Pink is not a colour for everyone.

[piratecat]

it will look so contrived, god what is this a wedding or a themed 6 yr olds birthday party.

Maybe the idea of the pink thing was ok to begin with, but by the sounds of it you must have been coming over as obsessed and overbearing and people are rebelling becuase of that.

I know you are under enormous pressure, just you saying i have done this and that to ensure everyone has a lovely day, proves you are totally wrppedup in this 'thin' that's taken over.
I would question a true friend being staunchly opposed to even wearing a coursage, or a hair clip at least. It's all a bit surreal really, that they would go all out to upset you, but is this becuase you are asking too much of them??

[LIZS]

Black tie dress code is imho rather different to "wear pink" ! You can still opt for a day style dress with black tie unless you attend evening only. tbh much depends on how it is put across "Dress with a hint of pink appreciated" is marginally better than "Pink dress only please" . Op sounds demanding and as if she'll be personally insulted by those who choose not to comply !

[orangehead]

I find this very strange(not ruling out a troll) as someone who only got married 6 months ago I remember well the lenghs I went to try and make it an enjoyable day for my guests, I wanted them to enjoy themselves. The op sounds very much like she only wants her personality to shine on the day and that she doesnt care about any of the guests. It sounds like the guests are only there to supposedly make her look good

[Issy]

Wedding photos? I've been married 16 years and I can't even find my wedding photos. Shame really as some of them were rather nice in a non-pink way. Still got DH though.

The OP has to be wind up doesn't it?

[mamalovesmojitos]

i would have no problem wearing pink to someone's wedding. i am a guest at their celebrations.

as the op said - bearing in mind this may be a windup- she's only asking them to nod a head to the colour.

while it's not something i'd do, i think if people are there to celebrate you and your partner's special day it shouldn't be too difficult to shove on a pink flower somewhere, scarf or nail varnish. it requires a tiny bit of effort. i know my friends and family would put in that effort for me.

however if people are going to rebel all the op can do is try and forget about it or her day will be ruined.

[OrmIrian]

"and anyway you are the hostess of the party it is your role to ensure your guests are happy and not their role to ensure that your every little whim is satisfied "

Well precisely.

Having said that I can't see why wearing a pick carnation or rose-bud would really hurt and I'd probably do it. But if anyone doesn't want to I don't think you can be surprised or upset.

[MrsJohnCusack]

tiredemma - "I even had to wear a pink bridesmaid dress ( I looked like a Sow)"

I actually thought I would wet my (pink, funnily enough) pants when I read that

I saw a wedding in Hello or OK or somesuch where everyone had to wear pink. It looked like an explosion in a candyfloss factory

You can ask, but you can't dictate

[maidamess]

If you are not careful you may end up with only pink presents too.

[Loshad]

I'm a ginner (and proud of it) I look awful in pink - the colour clashes within my own body would have you banning me from the photos.
YAtotallybarkinglymadlyU
also if your guests are spengin loads of money on travel, accomodation and presents (for you) they might be hoping not to have to buy a new outfit on top of it.

[Psychomum5]

I have the answer.....

as your wedding is in august, the is a high likelihood of lots of sun before hand.

all of your guests can get lovely sunburn, that would solve the pink dilemma!!!

[DaphneMoon]

Is the cake Pink?! Are the bride and groom on top of the cake dressed in pink?! Are your wedding cars pink?! Is your garter pink? Am I driving you mad yet?

[Blu]

Would it help if the photogrpaher Photoshopped all the guests in the wedding photos?

Then you could pick outfits that you think suit them and just create the pictures you fancy.Maybe you could make improvements to some of the guests other features too - you know nice teeth for Uncle Ronnie, make Your DH's oldest-friend and ex-with-whom-he-has-remianed-friends-with boobs smaller and nose bigger, and give the best man a big bulge in his crotch!

THEN you will have the perfect momento of your day.

HTH

[DaphneMoon]

A wedding day is stressful enough, all the plans that go into making the perfect day are difficult in normal circumstances. You have made a rod for your own back by making these demands. Why make it more difficult than it already is? Relax, let them wear what they want. Some will comply with your request anyway.

[Kewcumber]

Blu - thats such a brilliant idea.

[ruddynorah]

don't worry about it hun. just get your expensive photographer to photoshop all your guests so they are in fully co ordinated pink outfits. they will love it when they see how you've altered them! you could even change the female guests so they all have matching pick lipstick, nail varnish etc. it'll look bloody marvellous!

[Thomcat]

This IS your wedding day, and it will be a wonderful perfect day, IF you stop getting hung up about every teeny detail and what other peole are wearing. They are their to celebrate in your wedding day, drink, eat, amke merrry, not worry about wearing pink.

Don't ruin your bug day for yourself by getting hung up on unimportant things.

All that really matters is your are marrying the man you love. It's about a marriage of 2 people who love each other. Not how much pink you can cram into one day.

Do yourself a massive favour and let the 'everyone HAS to wear pink' thing go.

[babyignoramus]

Haven't read it all so don't know if anyone else has suggested this - but couldn't you provide something for people to pick up on the way in? A mixture of pink sashes, corsages, tiepins etc...? Then anyone who hasn't dressed in pink can put something on just for the photos...?

I think you need to cut them some slack - if they're paying money for a nice new outfit they're going to want to buy something that suits them and they can wear again!

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

[objectivity]

If you are obsessing over the colour pink like a tutued up 5 year old fairy then you problee aren't actually adult enough to be getting married I fear.

[Flossish]

I'd love to come if you want people to wear pink.

I'll wear my hot pink lycra shorts and my pink shell suit. I bet we'll be soooo co-ordinated!

[cornsilk]

Excellent trolling perfectinpink!
Just what we need to keep us going in the school holidays. {admiring emoticon)

[Upwind]

I would be hurt if my best friend set out to ignore my wishes for the sake of it. If I was a guest I would certainly make some token gesture (e.g. nailvarnish, scarf, headpiece, pink flower).

But you can't control your guests. Enjoy your day whatever they wear. There will be loads of pink and your friends and family will be there.