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Original poster

To think people should respect my wishes on my wedding day

291 replies

Perfectinpink · 28/07/2008 10:56

I am getting married at the end of August, everything is sorted, all going well (Miraculously). Except for one thing. On the wedding invitations, I asked people to come dressed in pink - or at least with pink touches. Pink is my favourite colour and my lovely fiance has agreed to wear a grey suit with gorgeous pink waistcoat and tie.
My dress is, obviously pink, bridesmaids are in pink, the flowers will be pink, the decorations are pink - that is the colour scheme.

Well, everyone rsvp'd but now it appears some of my friends and family are rebelling. My best friend has shown me her outfit and it is not pink. Or even purple, red, magenta, vermillion or puce! It is green. I have asked her if she couldn't get a jacket with pink in it and a hat but she refuses. It will look bloody horrible in the wedding photos.
She has got very shirty with me and has told me that apparently several other friends are ignoring the pink theme. And now my sister has said her dh is refusing to wear anything remotely pink (not even a tie with some pink in it)
It's my wedding, it's at a lovely expensive venue, I am paying for them to have a marvellous day, plenty of (pink) champagne and lovely food (all of it with a pink flavour!) and they are going to ruin everything if they persist in ignoring my request. I just want it to be perfect.
What should I do? I've even thought anbout making pink sashes for the rebels to wear but time is running out and I am running out of patience (and money).

OP posts:
Shitehawk · 28/07/2008 11:32

You know it won't be a "marvellous day" for your guests if they are uncomfortable wearing what you insist they wear, don't you? It will be a day where they won't feel relaxed and they certainly won't feel accepted for who they are.

Is the colour really more important to you than your friends? You could very well lose some of them if you insist on dressing them up like nursery school children.

Kewcumber · 28/07/2008 11:33

ooh yes thats a point - have you considered that those who didn't really want to wear anything pink will buy your horrible pink gifts as revenge!

Shitehawk · 28/07/2008 11:34

And what if they do all wear pink, but all in different shades? The chances are that it will look more like an explosion in a paint factory than the co-ordinated symphony of pinks you're expecting.

edam · 28/07/2008 11:34

and Twiglett's right, btw, you clearly know nothing about photography if you think everyone NEEDS to be wearing the same colour. Would be a photographer's nightmare.

rebelmum1 · 28/07/2008 11:34

They could be naked and then they would be pink.

rebelmum1 · 28/07/2008 11:34

I'm going to insist that everyone is naked at my wedding.

Kewcumber · 28/07/2008 11:35

wouldn't you have been better off asking everyone to come in black and white as a foil for your lovely pink meringue dress. You are wearing pink right?

rebelmum1 · 28/07/2008 11:35

perhaps with a feather in their bum.. this could be any colour.

LIZS · 28/07/2008 11:36

The reason you pay a photographer a small fortune is to bring together the group photos in ways other than simply by colour. You are insulting his/her artisitic abilities to think you have to do that job for him/her.

littlelapin · 28/07/2008 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperSillyus · 28/07/2008 11:37

oh, can I come?

itati · 28/07/2008 11:38

I don't want to patronise you but you sound awfully young and more fussed about the wedding than the marriage.

I have been married for 9 years and the first few photos don't look that great as the tiara wasn't put on right. I was really upset at the time but you get over it as there are more important things to worry
about. And you just choose the best to have up.

You really can not dictate what people wear. You can tell them how lovely it woul dbe if they could join in the pink theme but you can't make them. And for what it's worth, with all that pink the photos are more likely to clash!!

Kewcumber · 28/07/2008 11:39

would look much better with black and white guests

orangehead · 28/07/2008 11:42

Actually if you want the perfect wedding, maybe you should ban all alcohol. Bound to be some relative who gets very drunks and makes a fool of themself. So ban all alcohol so it will be perfect, what fun the day will be

ZacharyQuack · 28/07/2008 11:44

Mother of the Bride

Mother of the Groom

Kewcumber · 28/07/2008 11:44

the perfect guest?

Chocolateteapot · 28/07/2008 11:46

Assuming this is serious which I very much doubt, I wouldn't come to your wedding in pink as I would have assumed you were joking - I would struggle to believe someone could really want such a thing.

And I am a redhead and don't do pink.

solo · 28/07/2008 11:47

They may need alcohol to dull the pain of wearing pink though...

orangehead · 28/07/2008 11:48

true solo

Ivegotaheadache · 28/07/2008 11:50

Some of the posts on here are a bit out of order, no need to take the piss out of OP.

Of course your wedding day is about you.
Do you honestly think that somebody's wedding is all about YOU?!!
That attitude is very selfish, tbh, much more so than wanting your guests to be dressed in pink.

Yes, it's about the fact that you're marrying the one you love and you should be thankful that your friends and family want to join the occasion, but your wedding day is your day.
If she wants a pink theme, what's wrong with that?

And if people want to say that you could lose friends if you insist on dressing them up - well if these friends refuse to do this thing that I asked I'd like on my wedding day just because they don't want to, well not very good friends are they.

I recently went to a wedding that was black tie, and I had to go out and buy a suitable dress. Because that's what you do if you want to go to the wedding.
I will never wear the dress again, but it didn't occur to me to turn up in my floral floaty number because that's what suited me - stuff the bride.

solo · 28/07/2008 11:51

I like pink, but I think you can get to the age where pink no longer likes you!

Those photographs will probably not be the success she is thinking they'll be. I think there will be regret to be honest.

Kewcumber · 28/07/2008 11:52

oh you should, chocolateteapot you would look hideous sweet farm1.static.flickr.com/220/466959036_ad819cf9ca.jpg?v=0

solo · 28/07/2008 11:53

Black tie and dress to suit is very tasteful IMO. A wash of pink is sickly - again IMO.

wittyusername · 28/07/2008 11:55

Aside of the pink/dictating what guests wear - like many things in life there has to be an element of compromise. IMO, brides are wrong for the "it's MY day" mentality. No, it's a celebration of the COUPLE being joined in marriage and the family and friends show their support and don't turn up in jeans and t shirts (unless the couple have stipluated that such casual attire is not an issue).

On a personal note all my bridesmaids looked v different from each other. It's a wedding, not school uniform!

TheMagnificent7 · 28/07/2008 11:55

I think you are very considerate for planning two weddings. This one, and the next one because your husband will be gone in a shot because you are so selfish

I love you for that. You will, of course, not have an expensive gift list, and will have made allowance for insisting people wear something specific.

No, didn't think so Stephanie

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