to ask dp to get a DNA test to see if dd from previous relationship is his??

[wickedstepmom]

She is now in her early 20s & was the result of a holiday fling. DP did not know of her existence until she was 18mths old.

She lives overseas with her mother, dp supports her financially.

The problem is she doesn't look like dp, his family or anyone on her mother's side . Her mother has stolen money from dp & used to blackmail dp by threatening to abandon dd if he did not transfer money to her bank account.

dp now wants her to stay over here & meet our ds, i've said not without DNA test first. he refuses. now having huge arguments about it.

[IWishIWasMaryPoppins]

Does the possibility that the DSD was born in the third world make the slightest bit of difference to the impact of getting a DNA test? Suddenly all emotions are null and void? If in fact DSD is born in a third world country then in addition to the usual fall-out, there may also all manner of unknown consequences to a positive/negative result - the stakes may well be higher.

Agreed, one does hear of such things happening, flasheart, and it is conceivably possible, but, IMO, the possibility is rather slim. Have you actually ever known any such occurrence?

[IWishIWasMaryPoppins]

just to clarify - I have of course heard of sex tourism, and agree that such reckless behavior was stupid, but that doesn't negate the fact that there is still a child involved - regardless of her age.

[TheLordFlasheart]

Yes I have known of such things, many many many times, I lived in East Asia for over ten years. I can give you names and addresses and dates but if you prefer yo believe that there are fairies at the bottom of your garden

[TheLordFlasheart]

For bar girls in various 3rd world crap holes it is a routine way of getting out of grinding poverty or prostition

[TheLordFlasheart]

oh and no there is not a child involved now, there is an adult taking Mr stiff dick for a ride

[mummytokatieandhannah]

When DSD was smaller she looked nothing like DH at all. Was completely like her mother. This did make DH have his doubts she was his (relationship with his ex wasn't a healthy one - she cheated, A LOT!) He never had a DNA test done, he figured she was already his as he'd brought her up. (She's lived with us since she was 9). Now she's nearly 16 and she's the absolute spit of him and of our youngest. People always comment on how alike they are, yet she looks nothing like our eldest, who still manages to look like my youngest. IYSWIM?

Genetics come out in funny ways, some more apparent than others. YABU to demand to have a test done.

[Cashncarry]

How does "overseas" equal "Third world"?

Your views may well be valid but you've expressed them incredibly offensively theLordflasheart - and tbh, I couldn't really give a shit where you lived before and how long for - with that sort of attitude, you shouldn't really have been let past Calais.

[TheLordFlasheart]

Well that's me told then. Off to bed with my head between my legs licking my own bollocks.

[madamez]

Oh thanks flasheart, racism and sexism in a single post, well done.

[TheLordFlasheart]

so where do you think dear hubby or what ever has been sticking in in the local populus, Paris? Berlin? Rome? Bangkok? Phnom Penh? Go on do tell

[TheLordFlasheart]

Which post was that then?

[IWishIWasMaryPoppins]

Okay. So supposing such trickery does occur (and I am willing to accept that it does: I am saddened by that thought - but then I want to be a character from a childrens' book...!), should the OP then deal with this situation any differently than she would were it the child next-door? This daughter may believe whole-heartedly that OP's DH is her father - why pull the rug out from under her feet now - why not do so 20 years ago?

[TheLordFlasheart]

Some people here really don't like the idea that dear hubby or whatever has been a sex tourist but has been out witted by the local whores and is now having to pay for it, why do you all jump to defend whitey? Whitey humps local and has 20 years to pay for it, my only sympathy is for the op and that is tempered by the ract that she is prepared to hook up with a sex tourist so not really any innocent party here

[Cashncarry]

What the feck does where they come from got to do with the OP??

Seems to be an excuse for you to start a bloody loony racist diatribe if you ask me...

[Cashncarry]

FYI - we don't refer to people as "whiteys" or "third world wenches" anymore - unless we're bloody care in the community or something.

knobhead

[TheLordFlasheart]

If the daughter does not look like dear hubby or whatever why should she think she is his daughter, for the first 15 or so years maybe but after that surely doubts wouls have become obvious

[IWishIWasMaryPoppins]

Whether this DH has had a child with a foreign whore, or not, his daughter is still a human being with feelings. The circumstances surrounding her conception do not deny her and consideration within his own family.

[TheLordFlasheart]

Depends on her role in the big rip off

[TheLordFlasheart]

If his daughter is cognizant of the rip off then no she doesn't deserve any consideratiion beyond that given to a 3rd world sex worker trying to get out of poverty

[IWishIWasMaryPoppins]

Supposing there is a rip-off.

Why suppose the worst? Why risk ruining the life of his daughter on the basis that some people are dishonest in desperate circumstances?

[madamez]

I don't think the OP was specific about the ethnicity or profession of the girl's mother. 'Holiday fling' could just as easily be 'someone else on holiday who actually comes from three roads away from the OP's DP'. What's up with you, flasheart? Was your mail-order bride not as obedient as you wanted?

[Cashncarry]

I feel sorry for you - you clearly have first hand experience of being screwed over as a sex tourist and can't help but put your own sordid life experience up against any scenario you might find whilst idly searching on the net

This is a website for PARENTS not sad old gits who can't find a better way to get their jollies.

[Cashncarry]

x posts with mademez

Before I forget calling someone a "fucktard" is merely a bastardization of the word "retard"

So in a short period of time you have been offensive to the English, the non-English, women and the disabled

Well done