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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in changing my ds on a bench in a shopping centre??

267 replies

nappyaddict · 26/07/2008 01:08

If i am please do tell me

Basically we were sat on a bench in a shopping centre eating our lunch. ds is very particular and won't have anything dirty on. He noticed butter on his clothes and started pulling at them and getting quite upset so i undressed him. I thought as he was undressed anyway i might aswell change his nappy before putting a new outfit on. The woman next to me is tutting. So i said have you got a problem? Of course she said no but it was obvious she did have a problem.

So was i wrong? Or was she wrong?

OP posts:

DustyTV · 29/07/2008 11:53

YANBU, I would have done and I have done it. If your DS needed changing, he needed changing. Don't see what the other womans problem was.

mumblechum · 29/07/2008 11:55

I would think it was pretty revolting, tbh. Most loos do have changing tables these days.

Gateau · 29/07/2008 11:57

nappy, you said you wanted people to tell you if they agreed to you doing it, or not. You just seem to be on the defensive, though when people disagree.
Changing baby in a pram is not the same as doing it in public in everyone's faces. It's giving a bit of privacy to the task.
I mean, it's really not a hanging offence. I just think it's a bit yucky.

MeAndMyMonkey · 29/07/2008 12:00

YABU, the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your child/ren. Just change him in a loo, or somewhere discreet. Nappies are rank, and yes shit does stink. And piss, sometimes. It's totally gross in public, I wouldn't dream of changing my toddler in someone's sitting room/on a sofa. I certainly wouldn't do it in my own house, as contrary to what you might believe, it's very unpleasant for other people.
Plus, how do you always know it's a 'poo nappy' (vom)? I mean, don't you occasionally get it wrong, or do you always, always know?
Well, you did ask. And so I'm uptight - I could care less!

Original poster

nappyaddict · 29/07/2008 12:29

as i have said usually i change him in a changing area if i know where they are and they aren't a pita to get to. if i could have changed him in the pushchair then i would do, but on this particular day i couldn't as we had the go kart seat on it.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 29/07/2008 12:32

MeAndMyMonkey - would you not do it in your own sitting room even if it was just you and your child there?

OP posts:

CrushWithEyeliner · 29/07/2008 12:44

YANBU
I changed DD on the eurostar to Sth France 5 times 2 weeks ago, no way would I have been able to walk 18 carriges down every hour - it was baking hot and she was drinking loads. Would not with a pooey nappy ever but a bit of baby wee in the atmosphere is no big deal and I was v discreet. I really don't see the huge deal personally.

CrushWithEyeliner · 29/07/2008 12:46

m&mm do you not change your own child in your own living area?

MeAndMyMonkey · 29/07/2008 12:47

Nappyaddict - no, I would change her on her mat in her bedroom, but I acknowledge I am the weird one here and possibly a bit nuts. i mean, I wouldn't even go naked if I was the last person left on earth on a desert island. Go figure!
Sorry, didn't mean to come across so harshly, but it's just that nappies are kind of gross generally and one tends to forget if it's one's own child...

Original poster

nappyaddict · 29/07/2008 12:59

The thing is if i am in someone elses house I just change a nappy where they do. This is usually in the living room. Cos that's where they change a nappy I've never thought I should ask if that's ok.

OP posts:

Pitchounette · 29/07/2008 13:02

Message withdrawn

nappymadmummy · 29/07/2008 13:11

Bloody hell at some of these opinions.

I'd probably have looked for a baby change but if I'd had problems finding it or wasn't sure if there was one I'd have changed dd on the bench.

I've changed her in all sorts of places. Have occasionally been places for lunch only to find they don't have any changing facilities so have changed dd on my knee in the restaurant...if they can't provide facilities their problem. I'd even change shitty ones there.

I always change dd in the living room, why the hell wouldn't I? Why would I take her all the way upstairs to bloody change?

When she tutted you should have asked her if she'd mind holding your wet nappy bag for you

Pitchounette · 29/07/2008 13:13

Message withdrawn

Gateau · 29/07/2008 13:13

"if they can't provide facilities their problem."
And does that make it the other diners' problem too???!
That's shocking to do that in a restaurant.
Really unhygienic, bolshy and just plain rude.

Pitchounette · 29/07/2008 13:15

Message withdrawn

HonoriaGlossop · 29/07/2008 13:18

changing a poo-ey nappy in a restaurant is really gross and utterly rude. If there are no changing facilities then you have to change them in the loo. If you have a problem with that take it up assertively with the owners rather than the other diners!

mumblechum · 29/07/2008 13:19

You've changed shitty nappies in a restaurant?

Where's your decorum?

Gateau · 29/07/2008 13:20

NOT THAT, that's for sure. That's bloody disgusting. IF I was a diner thee, I would complain to the woman - and probably taken a mouthful of abuse from the mother for doing so. Some mothers think they can get away with anything just because they have kids.
I would have taken the toddler to the toilets, put her on her changing mat and changed her there. It's quite simple, really.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 29/07/2008 13:27

what if you didn't have a changing mat with you? i have changed ds on the floor of a toilet but others might not feel happy doing that.

OP posts:

Pitchounette · 29/07/2008 13:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster

nappyaddict · 29/07/2008 13:30

Similar thing happened to me once in a restaurant. I sat on the toilet and changed ds on my lap. Wouldn't do that in the dirty toilets in town though.

OP posts:

Gateau · 29/07/2008 13:33

Look, there is NO excuse for changing a baby in a restaurant. I personally wouldn't eat in a restaurant where the toilets were filthy, so that scenario would not arise for me. It's unhygienic and extremely bolshy to do what you all did (NCT lot)and the managers should have reprimanded you accordingly. I'm sure he/she would be glad if you stomped off and didn't come back.
Use your brain and find somewhere else. I'm not here to state the obvious.
The word is not only about YOU and your BABY.

HonoriaGlossop · 29/07/2008 13:38

I would have thought it massively un-likely that you'd be so unfortunate as to go to a restaurant, forgetting your entire changing bag AND go to a restaurant where the loos are so disgusting that you cannot lay your baby down. If the loos are that bad, again, tell the owners to sort it so you can go in there - don't take it out on the other diners

There just isn't a justification for it.

elmoandella · 29/07/2008 13:42

monkey. . . i dont change in my living room either. i have a seperate changing station downstairs in playroom. your not the only one who thinks its gross.

my friends and family have actually commented on the fact that when they come into my living room it doesn't smell of baby.

i want my living room to be the only grown up place in my house.

and i do notice when i go into other peoples house. i can smell it where they change baby. but only 1 of my friends do it in main living areas. one has an area of her hall with changing mat and box, another uses her den, another has a changing station in downstairs loo. there are more all with similar.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 29/07/2008 14:00

i do it in the second living room/den/playroom. i am let off the hook for that one then not sure how doing it there is different to doing it in the living room.

OP posts:

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