in changing my ds on a bench in a shopping centre??

[nappyaddict]

If i am please do tell me

Basically we were sat on a bench in a shopping centre eating our lunch. ds is very particular and won't have anything dirty on. He noticed butter on his clothes and started pulling at them and getting quite upset so i undressed him. I thought as he was undressed anyway i might aswell change his nappy before putting a new outfit on. The woman next to me is tutting. So i said have you got a problem? Of course she said no but it was obvious she did have a problem.

So was i wrong? Or was she wrong?

[lou031205]

Oh really, this is madness. It's a bit of pee, contained in a nappy that can absorb about 2 litres of fluid, being whipped off a toddlers bottom, and a new one put on. Are you really saying that you would get up, lose your spot on the bench, find the obscurely placed babychange area, and make the 1 minute swap there? I know I wouldn't. It is baby pee. It is hardly the worst contaminent in the world, and only smells offensive if it is left in situ for a length of time.

As for dignity, my 2 year old loves nothing more than to be completely naked. 2 year olds generally have no concept of 'dignity', they just have bodies. Their private areas, to them, are no different to their ears or nose. It is we, the adults, that have the hang up.

To the OP - YANBU.

[EustaciaVye]

Lol @ madamez. Yes I would go into McDonalds and change baby without buying food. If it was a small cafe I woul ask permission first.

[onelittlelion]

I would do it too if nowhere else to change ds but would rather use a changing place if it was ok and possible. I think before I had a baby I would have found a bit yuk but I think you get bit immune as do so many nappies etc!

Would have no probs going into somewhere like McDonalds too as noone would really notice or care? And is for a baby. I did feel a bit sneaky the odd time I've gone in to use the loo myself and not bought anything tho must admit!

[igod]

I have gone through the nappy changing situation 4 times and have never either felt the urge or been in the position where I have had to change a nappy in the middle of a shopping centre

I do think that you are unreasonable, there are allocated places to change nappies and the middle of a shopping centre is not one of them.

You do need to think of others, it is construed as unpleasant by many (including me).

I would have no problem if you had been bf-ing by the way

[chutneymary]

YANBU at all. I'd baulk slightly at doing a pooey one on a bench (as I'd not really want to sit next to that) but wee only is fine. Better that than have him sit in the wet, do another wee and take out all his clothes.

I change nappies on my sitting room floor (it's wooden so can be wiped if necessary) and if I went to a friend's I'd ask to change it and see if I was offered her baby's changing room or bathroom, or if she said "just do it here". Anywhere is fine, as I have my own mat, wipes and nappies.

I'd also use McD's facilities quite brazenly without buying anything. Just pretend you are going to buy AFTER the nappy and then you have changed your mind!

[Blandmum]

Some people are mad though. A woman went to change a shitty nappy in the middle of the waiting room when dh was waiting for his chemotherapy.

Now
a. this was a room full of sick people who had cancer
b. most of them were already feeling sick at the thought of chemotherapy
c. many of them had dodgy immune systems because of the disease/chemo

The woman didn't have cancer but was waiting with her mother. there was a baby chage station in the loos and her sister was with her and her mum.

She was just too lazy to shift her arse. Even her sister was shocked and told her off

[LIZS]

Sorry as an onlooker I'd also be thinking that if there were changing facilities or toilets nearby you ought ot make use of them . Could understand if you had other children in tow that it might not be so practical but a solitary 2 yr old could wait until you found one and would have to once toilet trained. Why not establish that connection early ? And yes we have used Mc D' etc toilets without buying if that is the nearest.

[littleducks]

i wouldnt have been all out offended but probably wouldnt have been majorly impressed, urine is sterile but when it has gone stale in a nappy mixed with the chemical gel contained it no longer is (not suggesting it had been wet for hours btw)

If you had been alone on a bench with nobody close by you could have gotten away with it

Did you have a buggy, if it lay flat perhaps i would change in there as then it is your surface ifyswim

I have changed outside in parks as i suppose dogs pee on the grass all the time so people expect it to be less clean and it will rain at some point!

[IdrisTheDragon]

I wouldn't have changed a nappy where you did. Wouldn't have tutted at someone else though.

[Spidermama]

No I wouldn't do it. I think we mums get hardened to nappies and forget how gross they are to other people.

I remember my friend changing a nappy with me in the room and I was nearly sick. This is before I had children of my own.

[TinkerBellesMum]

Don't worry about it

I would have done it bit at a time (not sure how you did it) so that she wasn't completely stripped off (changed her T-shirt then done her nappy) but then, kids don't care if they're completely naked! We had a naked toddler running around at the picnic on Monday and Tink was just wearing trousers, they thought it was great.

[kittywise]

I think that's pretty disgusting tbh. You should have taken him off somewhere a little more private. It shows a lack of concern for those around you.
You know that you could have been more discrete though don't you?

[edam]

OK, you weren't very discreet, but given there was no poo I don't think it's the crime of the century. I do think mothers become hardened to things that would horrify non-parents, though.

[BouncingTurtle]

I personally wouldn't, I would have taken myself off to the changing facility.
I change ds in front of other mums, but when I have no parent friends around I take ds upstairs to change him as I appreciate they don't want to be confronted by a smelly nappy and I think us mums probably become immune to the smell!

[PrettyCandles]

I would happily change a wee-nappy anywhere, and wouldn't be bothered by anyone else doing the same thing. But a poo-nappy I would definitely do somewhere else, whether a designated changing place, or a discreet corner where there were few other people around. The smell is offensive, as is the sight of poo, for most people.

As for when I am a guest, I ask my host where she would prefer me to change the dc's nappy. At home the changing table is in the dining area of the kitchen - it's the most convenient place for us - and we accept a poo-change in the middle of a meal. However, I would not use it during a meal, for wee or poos, while we have guests eating at the table.

[elmoandella]

if i'm in a friends house with children i use their changing station.

in a friends house without children i will ask where to.

in shopping centre i will always use changing rooms if avaiable. (disposable changing mat and milton wipes if manky) if no changing rooms i will go to toilets and do in pram.

i wouldn't change in public at all unless no where to go. i.e outdoor in a park. then i'd do in pram.

mcdonalds i use their toilets if stuck. in a non franchise place i would ask permission.

i'm quite often found changing nappies in the boot of my car.

personally i think it's bad manners to change a dirty nappy if their is a stranger sitting very close. i bet if you said to that wee old lady that you were going to change baby, she would keep seat for you.
or even better perhaps she would have said it was ok for you to do it infront of her?

in future, if you really feel the urge to do it in public. if there's someone sitting right next to you. ask them if they mind? then you wont need to worry if your upsetting them.

[nappyaddict]

i suppose in hindsight i should have asked where the nearest baby changing facilities were. At the time I couldn't be arsed traipsing round getting lost trying to find them.

If his nappy hadn't needed changing and I had just changed his clothes would that too have been inappropiate?

[HongKongFoeey]

nappyaddict-i would quite possibly do what you did.
i have changed my kids nappies everywhere.

[bohemianbint]

It's called a McPiss, isn't it, using Mcds facilities without buying? I'm all for it myself.

[DisenchantedPlusBump]

I would have changed him on the bench too

[PotPourri]

I would probably have changed him there too, on my knee though, I wouldn't lie him on the bench. But I have 3 small children,so personally look at these situations as how practical it would be to humph all 3 into a changing room. Sod anyone else, it would be my knee that anything would touch. And I am the fastest nappy changer in the west so if they blinked they would miss it anyway.

YANBU

[Thisismynewname]

Yes, it is rude to just change a nappy in your friend's lounge without asking first.

Yes, it probably was quite unpleasant for the person sitting next to you in the shopping centre.

[DeeRiguer]

i always asked where to change ds when in someone elses...
friend of friend did it in our living room no towel or mat
i'd just had the carpets shampooed...i didnt say anything at the time but wasnt happy..

i dont think i would do it on public bench unless really pushed..but the loos in our shopping centre are usually fine

its your babies bum, not theirs and not surprised in a way someone said something
shocked at the cancer waiting room story, thats horror ..

[Blandmum]

RE the cancer waiting room thing, even the woman's sister was horrified and thankfully told her not to be so stupid.

I can see that you naturally feel that your child's needs are most important but in reality sometimes they are not, and other peoples' view need to to be taken into consideration

[FluffyMummy123]

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