in changing my ds on a bench in a shopping centre??

[nappyaddict]

If i am please do tell me

Basically we were sat on a bench in a shopping centre eating our lunch. ds is very particular and won't have anything dirty on. He noticed butter on his clothes and started pulling at them and getting quite upset so i undressed him. I thought as he was undressed anyway i might aswell change his nappy before putting a new outfit on. The woman next to me is tutting. So i said have you got a problem? Of course she said no but it was obvious she did have a problem.

So was i wrong? Or was she wrong?

[Twinklemegan]

Catweazle - I'd rather change my toddler on a bench than in a disgusting public loo any day! I really can't believe anyone would object!

But then I'm used to working on sites with no toilets provided etc. I guess I'm more matter of fact about the whole business than some. I guess a lot of you wouldn't go out anywhere that didn't have a loo in the car park eh?

[nappyaddict]

i agree if your child would feel embarassed about you changing them in public then you shouldn't if you can help it but if like many toddlers they don't then i don't think it's a huge deal. i know what you mean about traipsing through a busy pub to change a nappy. that was one of the other reasons i didn't go back to mcdonalds - when i'd walked passed it earlier it was rammed and would have been a nightmare trying to get round all the people. our local one has bloody steps inside aswell which is an even bigger pita.

[penguinaballerina]

Changing nappies on a bench is not that bad (I wouldn't have done it in that situation, although I have changed nappies in some odd places when no one is around or no changing facilities are available).

What I do think is unreasonable is your attitude to the lady. When asked "Have you got a problem?" most people would say "No" just to avoid a confrontation even if they were unhappy. Perhaps it would have been nice to make an excuse - changing rooms too far away etc - or even ask if she minded first?

If the lady had said"Yes actually it's disgusting to change a nappy on a bench" then how would you have responded?

And is it fair to expose a young child to that sort of confrontation? You should consider the possible consequences before doing something that other people might disapprove of.

[nappyaddict]

I would have said never mind it's all done now isn't it and walked off. I think it is rude to tut. She obviously wanted me to know she had a problem with it, so if that's the case why not come out and say it rather than tutting which is just irritating imo. If you aren't going to say what your problem is no point in tutting in the first place. Might as well just keep your thoughts to yourself if that's the case.

[Elasticwoman]

Yes it is rude to tut.

I probably wouldn't have done it, just because I would want to wash my hands straight afterwards, so I would have gone to the toilet to change a nappy. Although I might have been tempted if I could see it was just a wet one.

[Quattrocento]

Would I want to see a dirty bottom in a public place?

No

[blueskythinker]

I think it is a bit off to change your DS' nappy on a bench, when someone else is sitting on it.

Although I have done public changes in the past, I try to keep it to a minimum, out of respect for others - whilst you know it is only your loved one's wet nappy, many other people would be grossed out.

I had to change a poo nappy yesterday at a friend's house, and I asked her where an appropriate place would be - I would never assume it was ok to do it in the living room. A friend of mine used to insist on changing her DD's nappy in front of me, and I would be barfing from the smell [puke].

I think tutting is acceptable - not everyone is comfortable with being confrontational, yet she clearly was unhappy with your actions. Could you not have smiled at her and said 'sorry, needs must!'

[nappyaddict]

I don't see how a bottom that has no pooh on it is dirty. It is only the same as me taking him to the beach/park/paddling pool, taking his nappy off and letting him run around. But perhaps you don't like seeing that either. Tis normal to me.

[Washersaurus]

Am ROFLing at 'air borne contaminants' - since when were shopping centres sterile?

That bench probably had some incontinent old dear on it beforehand.

YANU I would have done it, in fact I will change mine anywhere in preference to those stinky change rooms with their festering dirty nappies.

[TinkerBellesMum]

Nappy, I hope you don't mind me saying this, cause I think people have totally missed it from your posts.

The child was wearing pull ups and had only done a wee. He was changed standing up, at no point did his naked bottom touch the seat.

Why are people struggling with this concept? It's no different to him running around naked, which at that age most kids are happy to do.

[Gateau]

Tinker, I've never seen any child running around naked in a shopping centre!!!??? On the beach, maybe.
OP, YABU to change his nappy in the middle of the centre. The changing facilities are there for a reason. If there aren't any or their dirty, change your toddler in the car or in his pram. It's not anyone else's problem.

[Gateau]

their??!! Sorry, they are

[lizandlulu]

i have done exactly the same. i have changed dirty nappies on benches in busy shopping streets.
i would rather dd be comfortable than risk upsetting someone for 2 minuites.

[TinkerBellesMum]

The picnic in Birmingham last week, all the toddlers were running around in some state of undress (some totally naked). We were in the shopping area and going into the shops for toilets - with naked babies.

Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

[ladymariner]

At our school we have an outside area with tables and benches etc on where the children can sit at playtimes, go to sketch and do work etc and also where they go to eat their packed lunches when its nice weather.
Can you believe some bloody woman laid her ds on one of these tables (and they are the ones with seats attached so there could be no doubt that she would know the children sit there) and proceeded to change his nappy!! [angry} This was at our school fair. Hiow bloody disgusting

[ladymariner]

!!!!

[lazaroulovesleggings]

I couldn't give two shits where people change their kids. It has to be done, and baby changing facilities smell like hot shit most of the time.

[Gateau]

I said I hadn't seen it, I didn't say it didn't happen.
I don't see the need for it, TBH. But each to their own.

[nappyaddict]

I did ask further down if I had changed ds in his pram whilst i was sat at the bench would that have been acceptable? and if so why is that different to me changing him out of the pram whilst i am sat on the bench?

[Gateau]

Because people won't have to look at his bare bum. And it's giving him a wee bit of privacy too.

[Pitchounette]

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[Pitchounette]

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[Pitchounette]

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[Gateau]

I KNEW someone would jump on that one.
I didn't mean people would be offended by the bum itself. People just wouldn't want to see a poo or wee-stained one, I'm sure. And yes, I know this bum wasn't poo-stained. But I'm talking generally.

[nappyaddict]

poo-stained i get, wee-stained not so much cos you can't even see it. even if i had changed him in the pram how could you not have seen his bum, you would still have seen as much of it as me changing him on my lap.