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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in changing my ds on a bench in a shopping centre??

267 replies

nappyaddict · 26/07/2008 01:08

If i am please do tell me

Basically we were sat on a bench in a shopping centre eating our lunch. ds is very particular and won't have anything dirty on. He noticed butter on his clothes and started pulling at them and getting quite upset so i undressed him. I thought as he was undressed anyway i might aswell change his nappy before putting a new outfit on. The woman next to me is tutting. So i said have you got a problem? Of course she said no but it was obvious she did have a problem.

So was i wrong? Or was she wrong?

OP posts:
stitch · 26/07/2008 17:24

to th eop.
you were wrong. when you are in an eating place, it is wrong imo to change a nappy there. near food. where people ar eeating.

however, a park bench is fine. unless someoen is sitting there eating asandwich {grin]

in a shopping place, there are always places provided to chnage babies. use them

glitterfairy · 26/07/2008 17:27

Dont think it is wrong just not very pleasant to others on the bench.

I understand that on the spur of the moment it seemed a good idea. But then I have been in pubs in Kerry where babies were changed at the bar!

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 26/07/2008 17:28

In reply to the OP

PazzaPlusTwo · 26/07/2008 17:30

Starbucks is the new McD's, no?

PazzaPlusTwo · 26/07/2008 17:33

Before I had babies I would have found it horrid. Now I wouldn't even notice.

The old lady was probably hanging around waiting for something to tut at. You made her week. She will have something to tell at bingo

TenaciousG · 26/07/2008 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuwchBywiog · 26/07/2008 17:45

Wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest if thats any help!

Original poster
nappyaddict · 26/07/2008 21:19

No i put the nappy in my pushchair. I don't throw away nappies as I don't use sposies. Although i didn't realise there was a problem putting a wet only nappy in a bin.

He wasn't lying down with his legs akimbo although he doesn't care about being naked yet. He sat on my lap whilst i took his tshirt off and put a new one on. Then he stood in front of me to step out of his old nappy and into his new one.

Am curious as to how my child could pick up germs from a bench though If that is the case perhaps i should never sit on a bench again.

So incase i visit again can anyone in stratford tell me where the baby changing room is?

When people say would use a changing do you mean a changing room in a clothes shop? Some people have said it is ok to change in the buggy. How is changing in the buggy whilst I'm sitting on a bench any different to changing him out of the buggy whilst I'm sitting on a bench? If that's acceptable I will do that next time. I would prefer to do that than traipse around with a screaming 2 year old trying to find a baby changing room in a town where I have no idea where anything is and would probably get lost.

Btw we weren't in an eating place - not sure where the idea of that came from. We were the only people who had been eating on the bench.

I didn't think I was wrong doing that until a lady tutted at me. Then it made me wonder cos people usually tut when they think you have done something wrong.

OP posts:
wulfstan · 26/07/2008 21:26

yanbu. I find a sizeable minority of public changing places so honkingly minging that I'd rather change DS2 on the floor of the loos than on the smeary stinky mat with overflowing bin next to it.

I'd change DS2 in a shopping centre. I often do it on the front seat of the car. And whoever said "wee is sterile until it makes contact with air" milton cleaning fluid is sterile until it makes contact with air. Wee's just a social no-no, not some fluid of mass destruction.

wulfstan · 26/07/2008 21:28

nappyadict - please don't worry about your child picking up germs from a bench. He'll have a healthy immune system compared to those whose parents are forever spraying their surroundings with disinfectant.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 26/07/2008 21:31

I don't really see how he could have anyway as he never sat on it with his bare bum, but even if he had, i'm not sure how he would pick up germs like this.

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 26/07/2008 21:32

true.exposure to common germs/virus strengthens immune system.dont see what threat a bench poses!

given many many germs are air borne/close contact bench no more dangerous than the bus

BigBadMousey · 26/07/2008 21:35

Maybe she was tutting at your choice of cloth nappy

ScottishMummy · 26/07/2008 21:35

a communal changing mat in mothercare has more contamination and cross infection than a bench

all those manky wee arses, no cleaning between frequent use.eugh

i have my own changing mat, dont do communal

wulfstan · 26/07/2008 21:36

I always find communal changing mats a bit grim. Other people's wee is fine, but the rest? Ewwww.

onepieceoflollipop · 26/07/2008 21:51

OP if you mean Stratford on Avon then afaik there is a baby change in BHS/Mothercare also as other have suggested Mothercare. Probably lots of other places too that I can't think of. If the M&S have a cafe then they will have a facility too.

Won't repeat what others have said. Other than to add my "friend" changed a very pooey nappy (child was almost 3) in my living room. What bothered me more was that she didn't ask. Other friend was pg and felt really sick.

sherbetdipdab · 26/07/2008 21:56

My Mum changed my DS on a bench outside the maternity hospital last week while I was being monitored. I would never have said anything but I was a bit funny about it. I wouldn't change him in public. I did say 'oh is there not a changing room?' and Mum just said she hadn't thought to look, I would have but she is from a different time I guess.

missmollymoo · 26/07/2008 22:02

onepieceoflollipop, I can't believe that you thought your friend should "ask" before she changed her babies bum in your living room. regardless of the childs age, she obviously thought as a friend you clearly would never have a problem with it.

How wrong she was, poor thing.

missmollymoo · 26/07/2008 22:06

Is it because i'm a nurse that i simply don't get why so many people have an issue with a babies excrement. Dogs pooh and piss all over the place. Do you all stay out of the park, in case, god forbid a dog may squat and take a dump at the side of you.

Do you think years ago (when baby change areas were a thing of the future) that so many people (mothers too!) were so anal (forgive the pun) over a 2 minute bloody nappy change.

ScottishMummy · 26/07/2008 22:06

Really? i would instinctively use toilet not a lounge floor-how gross and inappropriate. i would have a problem with anyone whipping off a nappy and changing a baby in my lounge!

sherbetdipdab · 26/07/2008 22:08

I'm a nurse too and I do have a problem with it and I wouldn't want a dog to do it anywhere near me either, to be honest.

SlartyBartFast · 26/07/2008 22:10

a man changed what he thought was his pooey toddler's nappy in the children's clinic waiting room - on the carpetted floor.
MEN! i just thought and raised my eyebrows , to myself, there is a changing room.

a friend changed her pooey baby's nappy on my mum's sitting room floor!!

we live and learn and i have learnt there is a place for nappy changing, and these arent the right places, neither is a bench in a shopping centre imo

missmollymoo · 26/07/2008 22:10

Gross and inappropriate!!? It's just a nappy with pooh in.

Vomiting deliberately in someones handbag is gross and inappropriate. Changing a childs bum is normal.

Having said that, i would have took child to the toilet. But no way would i have minded if a friend of mine did it.

wulfstan · 26/07/2008 22:13

imo wee is probably cleaner than the rest of my living room floor so wouldn't mind. Bijoux poos are ok for living-room changes, but the less compact variety which need several wipes - I don't think I'd want to expose my friends to my DS2's toxic waste...

ScottishMummy · 26/07/2008 22:15

missmollymoo toxocariasis a parasitic worm in dog excrement potentially harmful to children esp 1-4yo. so actually if a dog excretes near me and lo i am most upset

faecal matter and body fluids are source of contamination and cross infection not some whimsy fussy mum hang up

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