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AIBU?

in changing my ds on a bench in a shopping centre??

267 replies

nappyaddict · 26/07/2008 01:08

If i am please do tell me

Basically we were sat on a bench in a shopping centre eating our lunch. ds is very particular and won't have anything dirty on. He noticed butter on his clothes and started pulling at them and getting quite upset so i undressed him. I thought as he was undressed anyway i might aswell change his nappy before putting a new outfit on. The woman next to me is tutting. So i said have you got a problem? Of course she said no but it was obvious she did have a problem.

So was i wrong? Or was she wrong?

OP posts:
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belgo · 26/07/2008 12:28

I would just go to a changing room. If there was no changing room available, I would put a changing mat on the floor in the toilets.

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Heated · 26/07/2008 12:32

It's a McSlash in our house.

Agree with Elmoandella's 10.35 post.

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lucyellensmum · 26/07/2008 12:43

blimey, i can't beleive people are so against the OP. I would have probably done the same thing, if it were a poo bum i would have took her to the changing area. Saying that i did change DD on the beach the other day after a big smelly poo - there was no-one in the direct vicinity when i started but just as i got her undressed a couple went and sat a couple of yards away eating their ice-creams . Too late, the nappy was off, i was embarrased but they didn't seem to notice - probably cos the beach stinks anyway

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Gobbledigook · 26/07/2008 12:54

I wouldn't have changed a nappy in that scenario to be honest. I wouldn't be offended if someone did but I would think, well I'd have found a changing room.

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alardi · 26/07/2008 12:58

What Potpourri said, I wouldnt think twice about seeing somebody else do it quickly, different if child ran around nuddy in the mall, tho'.

Why couldnt tutting lady next to OP get up & go sit elsewhere? That's what I'd have to do if she lit up a fag (legal almost everywhere until recently), or if loud teens plonked down next to me & started effing & blinding. Changing nappy far less antisocial than other habits.

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hatrick · 26/07/2008 13:00

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morningpaper · 26/07/2008 13:01

I CRINGE when people change nappies and don't wash their hands

Is that odd?

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niki1 · 26/07/2008 13:09

this is interesting as before expecting a baby i would have been really annoyed by someone doing this and thought it to be terrible.HOWEVER now expecting a little one soon i feel differently and wouldnt have batted an eyelid.i think maybe mums feel differently to people who have never changed a nappy???!

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morningpaper · 26/07/2008 13:13

in the scheme of things it is a v. minor transgression though

like picking your nose at a traffic light

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mrschop · 26/07/2008 14:22

I always change DD (1) in her buggy as I have DS (3) with me and the rush to (and the squeeze into) the loo is a bit tricky, but I always wheel her off to a discrete corner.

Worse ever one was DS needing a wee in the middle of M&S in very early toilet t/g so I had to dash into the alcove by the fire exit and whip the potty out. Young children and wees & poos are a fact of life but I think a corner as far away as possible from other people is considerate.

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missmollymoo · 26/07/2008 14:32

OMG, i can't believe people actually think you were wrong. I have changed my kids all over the place. Can't believe someone mentioned paedophiles!!!!

Some people are such do gooders, and i'm sure they must wrap their poor children in cotton wool.

They are children and bums need changing when bums need changing. She should have got up and moved if she didn't like it.

People are allowed to bloody smoke and fart and pick their noses in parks etc, but you are made to feel crap cos you are being a good mum to your precious child.

Bugger them all. You were bang on right.

still can't believe someone actually mentioned paedophiles with regards to you changing your child quickly cos they needed it.

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MumeeeeeeIneeeeedyouuuu · 26/07/2008 14:37

YABU - As said by others your 2 year old deserved the dignity of being changed in a private place at least - there is a difference between changing a t-shirt and shorts in public and changing a childs nappy directly infron of the general public, would you like everyone to see you going to the toilet if yes then yanbu but if you think you deserve privacy for such things then so does your child.

It is unhygenic as well not just for everyone else who has to sit on the bench and smell the urine etc but also the bench harbours lots of germs that you're child could have picked up.

Yes people don't have to look but in the same instance it wouldn't have taken 2 minutes to pop into Mcdonalds or someother public restuarant/toilets to change the child and where did you put the nappy in a street dustbin - lovely

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missmollymoo · 26/07/2008 14:44

oh for crying out loud! Dignity! Where have the days gone when children were allowed to run free. When my ds was 2.5 he would have gone everywhere naked if he could! A quick nappy change is nothing.

And as for germs! Make no wonder most kids are full of allergies etc these days. Do you wash your childs hands everytime they pick up a flower or a blade of grass whilst out playing? Exposure to everyday germs is what enable our immune system to develop. She changed his nappy for crying out loud, not fed him his lunch off the bench!

If we start at this young age making our children feel embarressed of their bodies who knows what will happen.

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orangehead · 26/07/2008 14:46

If there was somewhere else to change him I would not of done it. But if there was no where else then needs must. I have changed on a park bench before as there was no where else, although friend did a bit of shielding. I would not of done it (if there was somewhere else) because although as mums we are not bothered are our own childrens smelly nappy, other people can be bothered. Before the kids if I was walking around perhaps eating a sandwich and I saw someone changing a nappy it probably would of put me off my sandwich, I certainly would not of tutted and understand there probably was no where else to do it but nevertheless put me off. Its being respectful of other people who possibly dont want to see it.

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FluffyMummy123 · 26/07/2008 15:27

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hatrick · 26/07/2008 16:20

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TinkerBellesMum · 26/07/2008 16:33

You should have seen the Birmingham Picnic, we had two little girls and a little boy either naked or not far off it running around and rolling on the floor, none of them noticed, they were just having fun.

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hatrick · 26/07/2008 16:40

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electricluluarella · 26/07/2008 16:45

agree with hatrick..

Also, 'bums need changing', yes of course! which is why shopping centres etc. have changing facilities

not rocket science to go and find one and change your child in there

the woman at the bench should not have to move

benches are for people to sit on, not unreasonable to expect no nappy changing whislt you are plonked down!

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boozybird · 26/07/2008 16:47

if my 2yo ds had wet nappy and i was changing his clothes anyway, i would feel comfortable whipping it off and put on another one (although wouldn't do it with poo as stinky and messy!). it's takes seconds, especially if pull ups. BUT my dp baulks at the (to me) totally natural sight of our ds running around the kids' paddling pool in our local park naked, and he would be really offended by what you have described. so on that basis i probably wouldn't do what you did, because some people are stupdily uptight, and it would wind me up to have some horrid old biddy next to me tutting away.

i got told of for changing a wee nappy on my lap in the tv room MIL's house when ds was one. i nearly died of shock.

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greenlawn · 26/07/2008 16:55

No particular view on the bench issue - wouldn't have done it myself but wouldn't have been fussed if someone did it near me.

Having said that, I was once in a restaurant and the woman at the table next to us produced a transparent potty from her bag for her 2-ish year old, and congratulated him loudly as he produced an enormous smelly poo.

She then carried said item - closely resembling a large cumberland sausage floating in a pool of wee - triumphantly through the restaurant to the toilets which were all of about 15 feet away. Now that I didn't get. Put me right off my lasagne and chips. Her friend (no children with her) looked utterly horrified!

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Gossip · 26/07/2008 16:57

Yes YABU

You are a lazy slattern with no respect for other people.
I don't blame the lady for tutting, I don't go to shopping centres to smell baby piss and see their bums.

that you think this OK. (But the fact that you're asking the Q suggests that you know it isn't really?)

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bergentulip · 26/07/2008 17:11

YANBU re changing your child's clothes. I personally would not change a nappy near other people (perhaps if in a real rush might crouch in a corner somewhere and change the baby discreetly), just because some people are sensitive to these things.

I would not care too much though, but then I have children myself and therefore am used to stinking poos and babies' bottoms!

Seriously, my son could not care less if he spent all day in the nuddy, he is constantly trying to strip off (3yrs old), but I do stop him doing it in public, purely because it's not socially very, ummm.... polite. He has to learn etiquette sometime right??

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snooks · 26/07/2008 17:22

greenlawn

I would change a wet nappy on a bench like the OP

But I am also a lightening changer, it would be: trousers down to knees, new nappy under him, old one off, 2-second wipe, new nappy done up, trousers up. Ta-da.(Might not even bother with wiping if we would be home soon).

YANBU but having said that I can see why other people might be offended so that's why I would do it so quickly.

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FluffyMummy123 · 26/07/2008 17:23

Message withdrawn

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