IL message re: new house

[Shamalamadungbeetle]

How would you feel if you’d just bought your first house with your husband and the Congratulations you bought a house card that you received from his parents said on the front “His house, her rules.”

AIBU: No problem with the card
AINBU: Twats

often followed with ‘bitch’

Or nagging

As an older woman, who lived the struggle , as you say, I would agree with your observations about post-feminism.

I think it good that women feel confident and secure enough to laugh some things off.

But i think k that can make it harder to spot a relentless seam of misogyny and sexism as new challenges (SM pressures, Andrew Tate, challenges to sex based rights etc) continue to challenge women’s status .

Never does any harm to be on the alert.

Its OK to laugh at things if you are cognisant of what is going on

Creds to the pp who realised she had missed the meaning and is reflecting.

if the OP sent a message like that, she would appear seriously unhinged! It was just a card, for goodness sake. The OP and many other people may not find it funny or think it’s old fashioned, but I dont understand how anyone could take such offence over a housewarming card. It’s totally bizarre.

I can’t find a card that says that? Can anyone else?

Probably just meant as a joke . Chill out

I think you reacted just right to their shitty card and I hope it’s now gone into the recycling.

My in laws sent my DH a birthday card that probably came form the same shop - something about what’s the difference between the dog barking at the back door and the wife yapping at the front door - ho ho ho the difference is the dog will shut up once you let him in. Oh and Happy Birthday son!

DH rolled his eyes and put it in the bin. In-laws weren’t there so we left it alone as an example of their crappy misogynistic sense of humour borrowed from the 1970s rather than escalate.

Because, quite rightly, some people don't like misogyny (pity everyone doesn't like misogyny, the world would be a better place)

Ah the old 'it's just a joke' defence. Misogny isn't funny. Nobody would be happy to see casual racism on a card so why is sexism ok?
It's the kind of thing you used to see in the 70s when it was ok to use the N word and casual homophobia in a BBC sitcom. Those days are long gone, thank god.

Good grief, does it really matter? It’s such a non-issue. Im just glad I don’t have people in my life who look to take offence at everything they can, particularly when it involves their in laws. Mumsnet really is a very strange place 🤣

It does imply he bought the house but also that she is in charge so even handedly un pc. It's a joke. not a serious judgement.

It's not like they made the joke themselves though, is it? They just chose a shit card. They probably barely even glanced at the wording. The real problem is that 99% of greetings cards in the UK are horrific

Is it misogynistic to imply the woman is in charge? That bit is insulting to the man. The first bit implies the man bought the house or she is moving into his house, you can take that as misogynistic if you like, it's certainly a very out of date concept. Not a good choice of card, but I'm sure it was just meant light heartedly and they didn't go looking for a misogynistic new home card. Complain to the company that made it if it offends.

It is based on the view that he earns more so it is his house and she is a nagging woman, how can anyone not see that as misogynistic

And as posted earlier DS is looking to get a place with GF. He currently earns more but we certainly won't be encouraging him to say that means it is more his house than hers (will be renting to start with) and we have told him life will be a compromise (both ways), so no-one will be in charge, neither him or her.

Doesn't appear that misogyny is long gone on here though. Not sure why many women accept misogyny much more than they would racism etc.

Exactly ! My point is that the man would be blamed whichever way round the quote was, that's typical MN !

Jokes should be funny. This was just a crass and outdated stereotype made worse by the fact that it was actually OP and her family who made the largest contribution to the deposit. Her PILs sound like twats.

I doubt that there has ever been a joke that everyone has found funny - different people have different senses of humour and some people have no sense of humour at all. I personally don’t find the card funny, but I’m sure some people do. I certainly wouldn’t get offended by a nice gesture by my in laws, even if I didn’t find it amusing.

It’s a joke, lighten up.

It comes from the age old stereotype that a man owned the house, and men who thought that would not be seeing their wife as empowered, their language would very much be centred around a nagging wife

it is called A JOKE
FGS

Agree on all counts

Why is it funny? And a joke is only a joke if the recipient finds it funny. The recipient didn't find it funny.

Can someone explain the joke bit about it being 'his' house?