IL message re: new house

[Shamalamadungbeetle]

How would you feel if you’d just bought your first house with your husband and the Congratulations you bought a house card that you received from his parents said on the front “His house, her rules.”

AIBU: No problem with the card
AINBU: Twats

In the seventies there was a tv advert for something home based, ending :
“for the man of property and the woman of taste”
I can’t remember what it was for, Ive just looked but cannot find it

your IL will really have thought it was funny,
your husband didn’t so that’s good, we don’t so that’s reassuring

if you linger over this it will take the edge off the delight in your new home
light candles, remove the negativity, be happy in your house

They know we both work full time, but they don’t know my parents gave us half the money for the deposit. So actually more my house if you want to be like that about it.
You should definitely tell them that.

It's a stupid joke and I doubt if it was meant as an insult but you should put them straight.

It's a joke card.

Are either of you upset at the reference to you being in charge?

They are making a poor joke. Stop being so touchy.

I experienced this too - “ well it’s up to John it’s his house”
kind of remarks, which exH never corrected -
then when FiL died and left exH a chunk of money enabling
US to buy a larger house, exH told me the same thing

It’s just a joke!!!!

Does FiL talk about 'the wife'? Does MiL play along with this? You can't let that negative energy poison the place. I think you need a sage cleansing immediately.

It’s a bad joke that should never have made it out of the 1970s.

Unless your in-laws are particularly old, they should know that. I do think it casts some light on their own relationship though 🤔

you see, this is exactly whythese seriusly unfunny cards are still printed
sold
and given

even allowing for humour being objective, this card had the power to upset

But this is Mumsnet, where you’re not allowed to have a sense of humour, or to recognise that maybe someone else might not realise that anyone else could be so ever sensitive as to find a card like this offensive.

I’d laugh. Because I have a sense of humour and am not easily offended.

Because not everyone is a hyper sensitive snowflake and can appreciate sarcasm and irony?

Just a silly unfunny “birthday card” type joke.

Only if you take it literally.

I’m in my 60s and think that it’s terribly old-fashioned. Even my parents contributed together to the mortgage.

as opposed to? when comments like this are posted it then devalues the OP’s experience which is not why we are here

It doesn't sound as though you have a good natured/mutual piss take humour type relationship with them, so it's just a shitty card. Possibly with some vindictive intent. My MIL is snide, so you have my sympathies!

Lame joke. Don’t bite.

But it's not funny?

Sounds like I’m on the side of the minority, but i wouldn’t have cared. A little eye roll, put it on the side and move on.

I don't mean even because it's super seriously misogynistic. It's just not funny.

I think your and your DP's response was pretty perfect, showing neither of you liked it and telling them the house belongs to both of you. Putting the card back in the envelope and leaving it on the side was an excellent mic drop!

Except they are very unlikely to be old enough that this sort of 'joke' was from 'their generation'
If OP is buying a house they are maybe in their 60s at the latest.
I dont know anyone that age who would find this funny.
Being old doesnt give people a free pass to be rude either way.

I think you might need to learn the meaning of those words. The card is neither.

But why is misogyny funny? Would you find a racist card funny and say you appreciate sarcasm and irony.

This card is basically saying the man obviously earns more money so he bought the house and the woman is a nagging housewife. DS and his GF are hoping to get a house together at some point. If I gave them a card like that, they wouldn't understand it. And frighteningly it was only after 1975 that women didn't have to have their husband's or dad's permission to open a bank account, have a loan, mortgage in their own name.

If the card had said 'Her House, His Rules' there would be as much of a backlash. PPs jump at the chance to take offence .