Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

This ⬆️. If you choose to live in the back of beyond with zero public transport, don't drink when your teenagers are out, just in case. Surely it's possible to stay sober for the evening? You never know what might happen.

Yes you'd still make sure they were safe.

Of course! I might have never given them a lift after, but I don't think any reasonable parent would put a child in significant danger as a punishment for bad behavior!

I would message her and ask how come she didn’t bring them back? Then tell her you will never give her child a lift anywhere in your car again. She’ll miss out as she will have to drive him there AND back! It might be the others don’t ever invite him out again. She has really messed up.

You are right - she’s an awful person.

You'd force your child to sit in a car with two people who assaulted her? Really?

I agree, but for example the teens could have told their friend (who was driven home) to tell their mother they'd left early so they could stay longer. The teens could have refused the lift and said 'My mum's coming for me later' etc. It's surprising a mum would just drive off without them with seemingly no reason or communication so there's some missing info, and we don't know for sure that the missing info isn't really important to the story. I still think that, as a mum, I'd text the mum of the others and say 'Apparently X and Y are staying a bit later and you're picking them up is that right?' or similar but I know plenty of parents who think their kids are more indepenent than that.

I'd have been round there and asked the mum what happened.

Mind you, I'd also have come back to the thread I started about it.🙄

Don't engage with her; if she can bring herself to do that she's probably a nasty piece of work.

Don't ever give her son a lift. If she queries why I'd just reply 'I'm surprised you had to ask.'

I thought of IBS as a possible reason, also.

I’d need to know the reason why she didn’t take them home

I agree about keeping a sober parent available. My teen can drive now, but we still keep a parent available for emergencies. A new driver out at night is more likely to encounter problems and we want to be on standby.

THIS

What? She'd shit herself? Was about to? You'd honestly reach to that as an excuse? 😂

The kids could've gotten their parents to order a taxi of Uber, I guess, but it seems OP was available and someone had to do it.

She is utterly irresponsible and an AH.

I would absolutely call her out.

Id ask for money to cover the journey you took her son on to.

What a CF and leaving young people at risk at the same time!

I wondered this. She may have worried about them vomiting in her car. However, it's not on leaving them stranded if she had agreed to take them home.

Maybe she thought the agreement was you would give them all a lift in but she would have to collect her son (and other parents collect their children). Did she know she was to collect all 4?

This

Id ask if there had been a miscommunication or if there was an issue? I wouldn't have refused other peoples children. Heck Ive taken kids home to their homes that I didn't even know. I would be asking not confronting.

She shouldn’t have left them but like so many things on mn there’s something (possibly something huge) missing here, I don’t believe she just decided to leave people

I agree. Try the concerned approach.

Terrible thing to do

I agree, and I don't know why that's hard unless someone has a problem.

Simply don’t do anything for her son again. If he asks say I am sorry your mother left my daughter hanging around. So you will have to wait for your mother.

OP. Don’t go round there,

Agreed. Never give her child a lift. Do the exact same thing back to her child. Say no, sorry your mum doesn’t want to share lifts anymore.