Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

Another one post thread.
Utter bullshit I reckon, never happened.

That is awful, and yes, I would go round and talk to the MUM in person

What on earth Made her change her mind to leave three children even though teens?

specially as no public transport or taxis available to them to get home

I am a shock that a mum could do that to be honest. I would love to know what her reasons were for changing her mind late at night without a Regard for their safety.

I would never have left any of my DDs friends even if we hadn’t pre arranged that I was collecting. I’d have taken anyone home tbh.

I wander if there’s something you aren’t being told about this and the driving off isn’t as simple as it sounds

I’d be pissed about this too! Very inconsiderate and irresponsible of the other mother to leave anyone without a lift home when it was pre-arranged for her to do so.
However, if you do speak to her don’t go in all guns blazing, that’ll put her on her guarded, politely ask her if there was a problem with bringing home your DD and the other two boys and then ask her why she didn’t explain that to them at the time rather than leaving them stranded!

I would probably have scrolled back to the text where this was clearly agreed & sent it back to her saying "any reason why you didnt collect the DC as agreed after we dropped off your son for you?"

Id assume there was a reason and her kid wanted to leave without their friends. I would likely do as my kid wanted if they told me that but I'd probably have got them a cab home.

Awful behaviour. I'd go around and speak to her.

This.

Are you coming back, @Lardybumbum?

But the post you were replying to was saying they thought the mum might have been drinking, so it made it sound like you meant yourself 😂

I understand you feeling annoyed, but if one of the kids looked drunk enough to throw up I can see why she did it.I wouldn't confront her but don't let DD go to a party or event if that Mum is the pick up.

Either she had not agreed to give lifts in the first place or the behaviour of the teenagers ( drunk) meant she did not want to take them. Unfortunately, many parents are not willing to give lifts - even to their own teenagers. It’s always best to be on hand to make sure they get home safely, especially when you have daughters.

They wouldn’t be ‘at risk’ though, they would have got home somehow or slept on the sofa.
But the consequence and reaction from their own parents would hopefully stop them being so nasty in the future.
At 16, a shitty act deserves a shitty consequence.

The OP obviously doesn’t have the other mums number so it stands to reason other mum doesn’t have OPs

So her son literally got in first and she drove away so quickly that one or two others weren't in the process of getting in. All sounds odd to me.

Yes, I'd pop around. Partly because your upset and annoyed, but just to check that there really wasn't a miscommunication or some kind of argument between them.

I would speak to her, mainly to be sure that I was getting the full story. So far you have heard one side, which may or may not be the whole truth.

Apologies for not returning sooner. I have a life offline to those questioning why I posted and didn’t sit patiently responding to everyone as it popped up. Checking my post history because of that is also weird af.

i have only read a few pages all asking the same questions.

My daughter can’t drink because of a medication so she wasn’t drunk and the other two seemed perfectly normal certainly didn’t sound drunk and weren’t acting it. They’re the geek kids so imo always seem well behaved. We’ve had parties at our house before and these kids are never wild. I’d have been told if something had kicked off.

The host apparently was very drunk and her parents were dealing with her being sick and so they probably didn’t have time to check on others but I didn’t ask them. All lights were out when I got there.

It was the boyfriends mum who had arranged with the other mum to pick them up as she was meant to and then had a Halloween event and so swapped the lift. I wasn’t party to their agreement but she wouldn’t have excluded her own son from it.

I’ll try to read through for other questions in between work and real life so deepest apologies if I don’t respond in appropriate time.

So, have you spoken with her to find out?

edit cross posted, but question remains the same

As for whether I have messaged her, my daughters boyfriends mum is on it. I’m waiting to hear back from her

To be fair, @Lardybumbum, when you start an AIBU thread, it is normal to engage, so I don't think wondering where you are is particularly weird or anything! Of course you have a life offline, but you started quite a controversial thread.
Anyway. See what that woman says, but in the meantime suggest that other parents don't get over the driving limit when their teens are out partying in a rural area.

It sounds like a miscommunication between the two mums when the arrangements were changed. I'd still have given lifts, though.

you definitely deserve an explanation. as you rightly say if you werent able to pick them up they would have been stuck. And lesson learn dont trust this mother ever again. Whatever her reason will be she was out of order!

I don’t drink. I wasn’t drinking. The other parents were. I have to take a time sensitive medication that makes me feel nauseous and I took that because I HAVE TO. It doesn’t render me unable to drive it’s just a horrible experience if I do.

Yes I'd put it down to miscommunication/teens cross wires. I'd be more pissed off wirh the boy just jumping in and not saying hang on we're taking my friends too. The fact he didn't makes me think he was oblivious too.

It's difficult with other parents when lifts arrangements are via teens. I'd just shrug it off and book a taxi next time, even with it been Halloween they are usually still available.

Yes, I agree. That sounds like a better solution. Especially if other parents can't be relied on.

It is possible that the mum thought that she only had to pick up her son.