Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

That’s pretty awful. I’d be furious.

What would be the point? I would just never again agree to share any driving with her. She would need to sort out her own child both ways from now on.

This is absolutely awful. I’d be making a right fuss and making sure everyone knew what she did. Definitely don’t give the kid a lift anywhere again, his mum can be his taxi driver everywhere from now on!

I'd send her a pretty angry message and I certainly wouldn't do her a favour again.

Were they visibly drunk or being loud and raucous meaning she didn't want to take them in the car?

I would seriously wonder if she was drinking driving and didn't want to drive drunk other people's kids.

I think I would ask .

i can only assume that there was some other reason that you don’t know .

I would go over all full of concern , asking if she’s alright, or if her child is alright, as you know she wouldn’t have left the teenagers after agreeing to a lift , and you were worried something bad had happened.

you’ll know quite quickly what happened.

on the face of it it’s absolutely disgusting and she should be ashamed, I couldn’t imagine leaving my worst enemy’s kid in the middle of the night 🤷‍♂️

Only tempted?? I’d have been over there by now to discuss. On the face of it refusing to let the other kids in the car when they were waiting and ready is incredibly rude and unfair. But maybe they weren’t as ready and compliant as they tell you. Worth asking politely what the fuck she thinks she’s up to, there may be more to the story.

That was my thought - something happened

Yes I would definitely go round and hear her side of this.

It's bizarre so I would assume you're not being told the whole story.

Very odd! Had the other mum confirmed to you directly that she would give your DD a lift home or could there have been some kind of miscommunication?

I would hit the roof tbh

Even if there wasn’t an agreement in place, I would (and have) taken kids home if a lift is needed, and just either spoken to the parents or got the kids to call to let them know

Dick move

Even if the kids were pissed, you don’t just leave them miles from home late at night……

I'd also be furious and would be very tempted to message her, though I'm not sure what it would achieve. I certainly would not be offering any more lifts for her child in the future.

I assume the lift was arranged directly with the mother and not via the kids? The only mitigating reason would be if her kid never told her that that was the plan. Even so, why would you leave 3 other kids stranded?

If that was the case though, I think the reasonable thing to do is wait there and call the parent yourself, or stand with them while they do, and explain the situation. Not leave them on the side of the road with no way home and no mention to the parents.

It would be fair enough to call and say (as an example if this was the case) “your child is incredibly drunk, has just been spectacularly sick outside my car, is not behaving great, and I don’t want to drive them”.

were invited to a party a few rural towns away.…..All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come

It isn’t their responsibility at all, but what happened to the party host? Did they know what happened?

I'd just ask. " Hi, was there any particular reason, you couldn't bring xyz home, as agreed?" maybe there was a genuine reason, or maybe she was just being an arsehole.
Just remember, for next time....

This is what I think. She’d fucked up and had a drink.

That’s awful.
when I pick up DD I always check if any of her friends needs/wants a lift home. One time I had been asked to drop a friend home but she had decided to stay so I made DD check that the girls parents knew about it before I drove off. I drill it into DD that you always make sure your friends get home safe.

I would either contact her to find out what happened or simply make a point to never have anything to do with relying on anyone connected to the teen when it comes to my child.
I would like to know the reason though.

I’d assume it was a communication issue. The friend had probably forgotten to ask his Mum. That’s far more likely than the Mum refusing an already agreed to lift

Wow....I would be furious and would go round and tackle the woman.
It wont end well. From experience, it never does. But you need to walk away from people like this in life anyway.

I'd be asking her directly. "Why didn't you being back the others as agreed? If there was a problem why didn't you let me know?"

Gives her the chance to explain if there was a good reason (though i doubt it and she's probably just a selfish cunt).

What a dick move from her! Poor kids must have been scared.

I'd definitely be asking what possessed her to behave so poorly.

Either one of the kids in the left behind group was obnoxiously drunk, or they’d been horrible to her kid at the party. Even so - she handled it poorly, and yes you absolutely should take it up with her.