Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

Read the posts. I never said you were drinking.
I'm saying that the other parents shouldn't have been drinking. That was very clear.
As I said - you never know what's going to happen, so they should stay in the drink drive limit.

@Lardybumbum Seems like a really shitty move IF she knew that she had to pick them up.

My teenage son is absolutely awful at conveying any sort of useful information on nights out / logistics / parties

I ask simple questions like - where is it? who is going? is it a party? what are the timings? - apparently all of these questions are too intrusive.
The penny is dropping though, unless he tells me this stuff, he isn't going.

This is the sort of scenario that I wouldn't go in full guns blazing until I had my facts straight.

If she was just being an utter cow, then I wouldn't share lifts again with her and I would say something

I think perhaps it's possible that the OP misunderstood the arrangements.

I am also shocked the friend didn’t say to mum we are taking abc home as well. Esp if b took then all

I'd be guided by your teen.

It isn't going to achieve a lot other than sour the connection, which I think has already happened, and maybe convey your opinion of her, which she can probably guess.

If your teen would be mortified, what is the point? However, if your teen would like you to stick up for them, then I would.

It was the boyfriends mum who had arranged with the other mum to pick them up as she was meant to and then had a Halloween event and so swapped the lift. I wasn’t party to their agreement but she wouldn’t have excluded her own son from it.
I’ll try to read through
Hmm sounds like a miscommunication or misunderstanding rather than anything malicious. Or maybr the other mum simply forgot!

Why would the son not have said anything if they were all expecting to be picked up?

Even if the mum did think she was only picking up her own son, it's pretty shitty to leave the others standing outside a dark house with no way to get home once she realised.

Surely if her own son had got a lift there from another parent then she would be expecting to reciprocate?

But she left the others there without checking?
I picked my son up from a party a few months ago. There were kids there from another school. Two girls came out, approached my car and asked if I was their Uber … then my son turned up. I told them we would wait until their Uber arrived. They said they lived about. a 15 minute drive from our home but I told them we’d take them home if the Uber didn’t turn up. I wasn’t going to leave two teen girls at midnight even though we were just off one of the biggest roads in the city with buses and taxis passing regularly.

I think there's clearly been a miscommunication somewhere. My own 16 year old has previously told her friends I would drive them home but not told/asked me so I can see how it could happen!

There was no shitty action by the sounds of it. Why are you trying to justify this?

I can see how there could have been some miscommunication, but the fact remains she left 3 teens alone late at night. I couldn't do that - if I came to pick up my child and there were 3 friends, I'd be asking how they're getting home. I can't understand how she could have just left them.

Indeed - and the kids would surely have made to get into the car, wouldn't they? The mum must have told them directly she wasn't taking them.

Surely you would ask though seeing 3 teens who live very close to you being left behind at that time of night? I always check whether my DDs friends are sorted for lifts when I’m picking up

Why are some posters making bullshit scenarios up?

We have no idea how many teens were standing outside. One or two I would ask. A large group no.

This. I would ask first, but if it was simply she didnt want to i would remind her you’ll never drive her child anywhere again.

this is a shitty thing to do, they're kids ffs

good reply suggestion.

You didn't do anything wrong OP, if posters are having a pop at you just ignore them.

I am really curious how that mother will explain what happened, because on the face of it it's really weird.

I'd love an update if you feel like it.

exactly, most responsible parents seeing other teenagers stood outside at 11.45pm would ask how they were getting home or if they were ok.

Especially knowing their own child got a group lift there from another parent.

This is what l have think has happened

They could have all got a taxi though.

Nobody is having a pop. She didn't read the posts properly.

This. Some of the pps who were saying they'd leave drunk 15 year olds, in a semi rural area, with no visible means to get home, are, imo, irresponsible. (although OP has now updated, saying none of the group, were visibly drunk, so that theory doesn't stand anyway) When picking my sons up, if they're standing with their friends, I'd always ask, if they had a lift. Then we'd wait, until the lift arrived, or I'd take them myself. I think it's best the person who arranged the lift back (boyfriends mum) to message the other mum. OP don't feel bad for not updating until now, you'd already said you take medication with pretty hefty side effects at night, I'd assumed you'd gone to sleep....

That depends on where you live. Our town has only one taxi company (although we do finally have Uber). If you want a taxi at midnight on a weekend, you need to book weeks in advance. You'd be waiting hours otherwise.