Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

That’s really bad. I would not be taking her child anywhere any more and would be telling everyone I can how she just left your kids standing there

Would you just leave them there when you have their parents numbers?

Yes I agree. However, I think it’s on the parents who were too drunk to do pick up. Ultimately it is their responsibility to make sure their little angels can get home safely after a night of drinking.

Terrible. If my teen goes to a party i always take extra kids home if its on my way. Hate to think of anyone stuck.

If the parent agreed and didnt pick up, id be going mental

You have to ask her!

If they’d been horrible little bullies? Yes. They can phone their own parents. It is their responsibility. This is insane. I might text their parents if I was feeling particularly magnanimous but I wouldn’t be waiting around. Actions have consequences.

When I was about 16, one girl was black out drunk and two other girls shaved off her eyebrows. Do you think eyebrow girl’s mum should have taken them all home?

I bet the friend never bothered to ask his mum. So she had no idea she was supposed to give them a lift

Yes I do. Putting kids at risk as a consequence is no reasonable way to handle that kind of situation.

This is outrageous. I’d be messaging the mum asking for an explanation and ask her how she’d feel if someone had agreed to pick up her teenager then left them stranded late at night.

As an adult who has agreed to give a lift, you give the lift. Take it up with the parents the next day. Or if you’re feeling particularly put out then inform the parents you won’t be taking them home and they need to go get them.

How would you feel if you’d left them stranded and something happened to them? Might not ‘be your problem’ but most people with a moral compass would feel some responsibility over the safety of teenagers even if there had been some sort of falling out.

And what if I text their parents and they’re too drunk to come and get them? Does that also make it my problem?

Interestingly op hasn't returned to the thread

Odd on the other kids were either blind drunk and or doing drugs

Or

Had been completely shitty to the drivers child

I would ask her but before I did I would basically give my DC a chance to see if they “remembered” any details that might be relevant to the situation because there is a potential FAFO angle on this, such as extreme rudeness or a refusal to leave the party after being warned etc.

If you’d previously agreed to collect them then yes. I can’t believe you think it’s reasonable to leave kids stranded in the middle of nowhere at night time. Whatever has gone on between them their safety comes first. Shocking attitude.

i’d be fuming. that’s not on.

Completely agree. Even if they were acting outrageously, I wouldn't just leave them there.

I'm interested to hear what her justification is.

Me too. I'd never forgive myself.

What a horrible human being to leave them there like that.

There's clearly some missing information here.

One of the things I have realized about the parents of my teenager’s friends is that some of them are just horrible people. I was the teen with the horrible parents growing up. I don’t hold it against the teenagers that their parents won’t do their fair share. It isn’t the teen’s fault. I care more that my child’s friends know I am an adult they can rely on.

Do I sometimes resent that role? Absolutely. It’s better to be the parent who they all trust though. Strangely, teens want to be around that person, even if you aren’t the “fun” parent.

What? Who mentioned bullying? Not the OP, you're just guessing scenarios that didn't happen...

I agree

I’m sure there is. But I honestly can’t think of any additional information that would justify the mother doing this. Even if they were being the most abusive little shits and/or refusing to get in the car I would still at least contact the parents and let them deal with it. Either so they could collect them or arrange a taxi or something. I just couldn’t drive off and leave them there without telling anyone.

That’s really outrageous behaviour. Even if the kids were not ready / drunk / vomiting I wouldn’t leave them there. I always check with our DDs if anyone needs a lift and would never drive off and leave someone without checking they had a lift. What a total dick.