Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

Who told you she agreed? Was it her or her kid?

No way! I’d be raging! I’m one of the mums that does pick up and Tuesday night I agreed to collect my son and 3 friends (16) from a party at 11pm. I warned him if they weren’t ready I would come in and collect them with no fucks given. When I got there 2 had buggered off to McDonald’s down the road. Did I leave them? Of course not, I went to get them. I had a moan but I bloody well made sure they were in my car and delivered safely home as agreed!

There is probably more to the story. I would text -

Hi Kathy. I just wanted to check what happened last night. I had been told we were sharing the lifts, with me dropping the four kids and you collecting them. I then got a call from my daughter to say you would only take Will home and the other three were stranded at the party. Did something happen?

I’m pretty sure they meant the teens being in different states of drunkenness, not themself!

This seems like an incredibly odd thing to happen. I'd get the other mother's side of things first, because I'd hope there was a good explanation! If there isn't, obviously you never include her in arrangements again.

This happened last night and you haven’t been round to see her? I’d be over there right now.

What has her kid actually said? Are you sure he really did ask his mum and she agreed, or did he just lie so you’d give them a lift out there?

Completely agree. Even of you were pissed off with the other kids, for whatever reason, you’d take them home then discuss another day.

First did you ever confirm with the Mum herself re the lift sharing? She might not have known about it.

Still not cool to have left them though.

Did the Mum definitely agree to this or was it just that her child says she did?

Sounds like there’s something more going on.

It isn’t really a fair swap though, the drop off for the pick up, so maybe she didn’t agree to the “graveyard shift” for all four kids?

You - very very obviously - don’t have the whole story here.

Bizarre behaviour from the other mum, honestly. I can't imagine leaving any of my dd's friends at a party at that time of night even if I hadn't agreed in advance to collect them.

I would definitely contact the mum, I'd want to know what on earth they were thinking!

Me too, Always made sure friends were safe, and always drummed into Dd always stick together when out in a group

Yeah I think there is more to this, the mother never agreed, got a call out to pick her son up and was pissed off as she didn’t even know she was doing this.

i think the sons cadged a lift in, and then landed his mother in it,

I’d definitely be messaging the other parent to find out what happened and why she left the other teens stranded.

some parents are just arseholes, my best friend and I have always told our 3 that if any of them are stuck to phone one of us and we would go and get them and our children are all early 20s. Ds got a taxi home one night from town and said his friend had just phoned and said he had lost his wallet and house keys and his mum wouldn’t go for him, I got out my bed to go and pick him up while his mum wouldn’t!

Even if something had happened I don’t think there’s subsequently any excuse for not letting you know so you could make other arrangements. Unless you are getting a very sanitised version of what happened I would be raging about this.

This sounds completely unbelievable. You’ve got a teenage version of events here. I would say she probably either had no idea she was supposed to collect them or they just refused to leave. I was at a party once aged around 17 and when my lift came I refused to leave because I was having too much fun. Regretted that at 2am when I had no way to get home!

Wouldn’t you actually even ask the mother first off, if she’d even agreed and what happened, or would you go full on raging right away

I would want to know why, and were there crossed wires, behaviour issues etc

Yes same here, I would never leave teens stranded like that, dreadful

Yanbu.
But I would always have a back up plan in these instances so it was daft of all the other parents to have been drinking. There's always a chance a child needs rescuing early

Completely agree.

I think I'd create a WhatsApp group with all 4 mums and say something along the lines of:

I'm a bit confused about what happened yesterday and don't want to risk it happening again. I thought I was taking the 4 children and Bobs mum was picking all 4 children up. But instead I had to pick the children up except Bob who'd already been collected. Was it a miscommunication or did something happen I'm not aware of? It was very upsetting getting a tearful phone call from DD at nearly midnight

And see what she replys

I cannot think why someone would do this. I would ask her.

Did you directly ask th other mum why she had agreed to give your daughter and her friends a lift home and then renaged on that with no warning?

One mum said she would do that

In what form, did she actually say it or was it her kid who promised the friends without actually checking with the mum? I would definitely ask her what happened and was there a misunderstanding?