Another mum picked up her teen after party and refused others a lift despite agreement to do so.

[Lardybumbum]

The background story is my 16 year old daughter, her 15 yo boyfriend and two of their class mates were invited to a party a few rural towns away. I agreed to give them a lift there if one of their mums agreed to run them back. One mum said she would do that and her kid confirmed again when I dropped them all off.

The town is only 15 mins away but there’s no public transport after 6pm on weekends (and at that no direct public transport between our towns having to go into a city and back out again) and being Halloween there were no taxis /ubers who were all working in the city.

Well the boys mum left my daughter, her boyfriend and one friend and only took her son home. All four were standing outside the house at 11.45pm waiting for her and she literally drove off with just him in the car saying the others couldn’t come. I get a tearful phone call from a very panicked daughter so I get out of bed and go get them. I have to take medication at night that I’m wary of driving on (although it isn’t illegal) but I’m not leaving my kid in the middle of nowhere. The other parents had all been drinking so couldn’t.

Aibu to think that was an arsehole move on behalf of the other mother to allow her kid to accept the ride and agree to the deal she would pick up them to just leave them and take her kid home? Her kid messaged my daughter today there wasn’t any mitigating reason for her leaving them she just didn’t want to.

She lives two streets away and I’m tempted to go and say something. If I’d been drinking there would have been no one to get them and they’d have been stranded (there’s no way to walk between towns either).

Agree with this. You need to get your the bottom of it

Maybe the communications were the problem.

If you know the mum to speak too, I’d definitely text to enquire what happened. Did she tell you directly she would pick up or was it through the kids? (possibly a miscommunication)

Hope you’ve popped round for a chat with her.

OP have you seen all these messages (including the other parent agreeing) with your own eyes or just taking your DDs word for it?

Did the other mum definitely agree to bringing all four home?

I find it hard to believe that they wouldn’t have all got in the car at the same time if they were all waiting together and under the assumption the lift was prearranged. I can’t imagine the other parent speeding off before they could get in.
So how did just the boy get in and not the others? It just doesn’t add up.

what was the agreed pick up time? Had the other parent given up after waiting 15 minutes for your DD etc to turn up?

Like PPs have said could there have been a fallout and the boy said not to take the others?

Was one vomiting and other mum had forgotten bin bags.

i think you need to get the actual story out of your DD before you go storming round to the other parent!

Agree with others that I would speak to her, but go from an angle of “I just wanted to check all was ok as the agreement was you’d bring x and x home?”

I would definitely message and fine out why she left them, what a terrible thing to do

Did your parents not like you or were they always just shit parents?

How embarrassing for her child.
I personally would leave it but not arrange lift shares with her again. Even if her child had forgotten to ask, the fact they were stood there, lived 2 streets away I would like to think most adults would check if anyone else needed a lift if I had space in the car.
We regularly lift share between parents, the latest when the school bus broke down and a mum kindly grabbed our child alongside hers and a couple of others from our area to save them waiting for the replacement bus to arrive.
Its just a basic kindness you do for your children’s friends and fellow parents.

Was pretty normal at my age.We were all working full time, so not seen as kids really.

How would you have got home in this situation?

My friends and I walked a lot. Three miles home from a club was normal. If not possible a taxi.
I am not advocating this. I am just disagreeing with the poster who said our parents all picked us up.

Did you live rurally? So your parents and other peoples parents didn’t give you a lift home. Was there public transport? Were taxis available? Did you not go out?

im not sure how helpful or relevant your post is, OP made it clear there were no transport alternatives

Haha seriously that's what you took from that?! 😂 She means the kids were drunk not her FFS!

What an awful response. Perhaps they were a young carer. Perhaps they had a single parent and much younger siblings. Perhaps their parents didn’t drive. There could be many reasonable circumstances that meant they had to take some responsibility for themself. They were 16 not 11 ffs. My mum left home at 15 to work at a horse yard.

As a parent who regularly drives my teens and their friends around, I’d be fuming. I hope you gave the mum a big bollocking. It’s a shame for her daughter but I’d not be giving her a lift anywhere after this.

I think I’d have to text and say that I thought there had been an agreement and was there a misunderstanding or a problem that resulted in her leaving three children stranded at midnight.

Some people are just selfish I'm afraid ,I would just make your own arrangements next time ,I wouldn't say anything as chances are they won't be bothered

I would be beyond furious IIWY OP and no way would I leave it, I would have to contact the other mother.

@Onemoremakesthree those kind of responses are normal here, sadly.
I was working full time as were my friends. My dad had been working full time at 15. They saw me as a young adult, so if I wanted to go out I had to know I could get back okay by myself.

I don't think younger adults realise how much the idea of what age is an adult has changed. My employer certainly expected me to work and act like an adult.

I think that although this is not something I would have done, there is more to this story than meets the eye. Had the kids had an argument or were they drunk? Don't know it just seems like something you wouldn't do after promising a lift home.

I'd have double checked with the mum, the arrangements. Sounds like there's more to this. Or as pps have said she could just be a selfish twat.

Yes the kids …not me !!!

Yes the kids …not me !

Have you still not messaged her?