.... to not want lunch guests pitching up at 3. Or at least not for actual lunch.

[AlteFrau]

Original arrangement was for late lunch. The guests have a toddler who naps late morning, so I'd imagined they wouldn't turn up before 1. More likely 1.30ish. Maybe 2 at the latest.

We planned something that was easy to heat up, rather than a fiddly meal where timings would need to be exact.

I0 minutes ago we got a text saying, the toddler has only just gone for their nap, so they will turn up about 3.

My discussion with partner was that we'd eat the lunch we prepared now, freeze the stuff that the guests would have eaten, and text back saying, 'Oh you're coming for tea then. There'll be some cake.'

What would you do?

Is there a reason you used AI for this reply?

That's an awful lot of assumptions you've made about me based on a single post. And incorrect ones at that. I do think more clarity was needed about arrangements, but I also think the toddler parents should have bowed out when they realised things weren't going to plan, not assumed their hosts would hang round waiting for them. Nothing to do with being 'rigid and unforgiving' or 'getting angry' (and the latter is a bit rich given the tone of your posts on this thread).

Is there any particular reason why this thread is touching a nerve for you? You do seem very worked up about it.

With nothing to eat or drink in beyween meals? 🤔

🙄

What happened in the end OP?

I wouldn’t send a passive aggressive text like that. It’s pretty common to think of lunch as 1 or 1:30pm (if I get to it before 2pm most days I think I’m doing pretty well). I’d think of 3pm as a late lunch. Whatever time lunch is in your mind, you didn’t specify a time or even a time window.

Maybe your relative thought they were being polite in texting you to confirm a time once their toddler had started napping, especially as you hadn’t asked them to come at a particular time. Our baby is the same and naps different times each day. Would you have preferred they’d given you a time when they knew they couldn’t be certain and then gone back on it? Perhaps they were glad of what they perceived to be your flexibility.

Can I ask what food it was that meant it needed freezing and wouldn’t have kept for another hour?

Agree, you sound really inhospitable OP and I could tell by your tone it was your in laws. Just be a bit flexible and understanding of them and their PFB. So ungracious to tell them “see you for cake” and freeze their food. They’re guests in your home and they’re your family, surely. I’d never treat people like this.

I look after my grandson once a week while my daughter is at work ,nap times tend to be late morning but it can vary if your hungry I would just have a snack that's something I have to do sometimes better than a really tired baby

Yes but OP made the post, as per the title as well whinging about them turns ng up at 3. Decisions being made about freezing their part of lunch etc. That’s what the post started about.

This is a ridiculous overreaction from you

Well said! This is what happened with an ancient Legal site called rollonfriday. AI bots farming posters details and there were outings of lawyers who thought they were posting anonymously

@BigSuse out of curiosity, what was your toddler like after a 30 minute car nap vs 2 hour crib nap? For us, this is the difference between a difficult toddler that tantrums over small shit vs a happy toddler that will actually SIT for an adult lunch, smile at everyone, play nicely, and have zero tantrums.

We do end up having to do ocasional car/pram naps but the result is an annoying afternoon where we have to micromanage him and we count down until bedtime. DS is 2.5.

Just putting it in context for you, it's not about us being boring shits, it's managing an overtired toddler that could ruin the afternoon for everyone.

Then again, I would decline an invitation for a 1pm lunch or specify we cannot do lunch before 3pm rather than text on the day.

3pm is a late lunch. Not tea.

1.30 is normal lunch time. Not late at all.

I think it’s afternoon tea time.

It can be the time of either a late lunch, or an afternoon tea, surely 😁

Or an early tea then.

This

way too rigid. it's the weekend! give your children some lunch at their normal time, obviously, but just hold on and have lunch with your guests! who cares if it's later than you'd usually eat! you aren't baby, you can eat your lunch whenever. when i'm busy with work or kids i sometimes don't eat lunch till flippin 4pm! or sometimes not at all if im flat out hectic! hasn't harmed me!

Everyone sounds hard work 🙄 I’d have said to them “ oh will you still want lunch here at that time or will you eat when the little one is asleep and just have tea and cake here ? What would you like to do ? “
If they still wanted lunch , I’d have a decent snack to keep me going then serve up the lunch when they eventually arrived .
i had something similar with a wife of my husband’s work colleague.
She had their first child ,who was a very easy going older baby .
I invited her to come for lunch as she was going to pick up some useful baby things from us .
She showed up so late that I had to do food immediately have a quick chat then apologise and leave to pick all my kids up from their schools and nursery ( mine were aged 4 , 7 and 12 at that point )

They texted at almost 1 to say just going to bed and won’t be around till 3 ish

but worse they then reply 3.45 and say coming round now

that’s not lunchtime to me

but this thread shows that many have different meaning to late lunch . Def state a time next time