To ask DD to ask for extra Halloween sweets?

[TinyOcelot]

DS has unfortunately woken up today feeling ill and he's been sick a few times. I am not letting him out trick or treating in his condition, obviously. It's rotten luck and he's of course disappointed.

His older sister will be going round the neighbourhood with her friends. Do you think it would be OK for her to ask for one for her ill brother as well, to have when he's feeling better? I'm not sure if it's rude or not or people might think she was taking the piss?

Or I could ask her to share what she gets as it's always an awful lot but that doesn't seem all that fair to her.

I know I could just buy him a load of sweets but part of the fun is getting such a wide selection from all the different houses and he's already going to miss the main fun of dressing up and going round in the dark seeing all the decorations. But I will just do this for him if it's the best option?

What do you reckon?

YABU because it’s going to give her a completely unnecessary responsibility when she should just be able to enjoy herself. He’s only a bit sick, he’s not dying. She shouldn’t have to carry the burden of him being a bit sick, she’s a little girl.

Perfect 🎃😹

You need to travel more. There are vast swathes of the country where this is completely normal.

Bless him, I'd have no problem with that, but I can see the other point of view. Hope Ds gets well soon.

I’d have no issue with it but we overbuy sweets like crazy people so there are plenty to spare.

I’ve travelled all over the world extensively, far more than your average person and never come across this in any other country, though admittedly I haven’t been in every country on Halloween.
There maybe vast swathes of the country where it’s common. But certainly not vast swathes of my country

Scotland at Halloween not been on your list then?

No need to be rude, I’m only asking.

Yeah I've been to the shop and sorted it, we'll do it this way 👍

We already had loads in to hand out ourselves, but all one kind so a bit boring!

My adult children love ribbing me I was the worst mother ever because I never let them trick or treat or guising in scotland .I was brought up in the church .so witches /pagan festivals no thanks .and It honestly never even occurred to me I actually feel a right misery now especially when I get ribbed .my take was always you get good easter /birthday/ Christmas parties you can't go to everything and I don't even attend church since my 20s just shows some things are drummed in.

I wouldn't think twice about asking DD to share her sweets with her siblings, and I don't think she would either?

How do you get to a point where you can't ask siblings to share a glut of sweets?

Am I living in a parallel universe? Is this normal?

Don’t embarrass yourself.

give dd money and ask her to share her bag since her brother is unwell.

the amount of sweets children get is ridiculous so sharing it will be better than being greedy and asking for more.

That’s cool, never heard of this! But never been in Scotland on Halloween. Imagine it must be hard for kids who aren’t super confident. Many here can’t even manage to say trick or treat

Nope never been to Scotland on Halloween. Wouldn’t be on my list of places to visit in winter, I’m not a fan of the cold

Oh that old chestnut to get double.

Bit annoying

I'd not hesitate if she asked for some for her brother. No need to say he's sick as that has the potential to sound made up. So many people just yank a handful from the bowl anyway

I think if it’s a house which clearly had children living there, it’s ok to ask. Also there are houses with bowls left outside so she could just take an extra one from the bowls. If it’s clearly a house with no children (say older adults, for example), then personally I think it could annoy some people. I think when you’re currently in the phase of life with young children, anything goes, and you stop listening. Otherwise a minority could be prickly. Or….buy him some pick and mix when you can!

It’s what Halloween is.

It started in Scotland and Ireland around 2000 years ago. It was the night when spirits could roam free. So people started dressing up a ghosts and ghouls to disguise themselves so the ghosts would think they were just other ghosts and leave them alone. It then turned to children visiting their neighbours to spread the protection. That visiting turned into an exchange of good spirits - the children would do a song or poem or dance, and the neighbours would give them a sweet treat or something. It’s been happening like that for several hundred years now. That’s what Halloween is.

When celts emigrated to the americas, they took it with them. And over there, in recent history, it turned into the spirits (kids) playing tricks and vandalising if they didn’t get sweets. So in America, it’s just giving out sweets for nothing. American movies made their way to England and you copied them.

Saying you’ve travelled extensively but never seen it done that way is a bit silly when you’ve never been to the place it originated.

It’s annoyingly mild at the moment unfortunately. Looking forward to some festive frost 🧊 🥶

Trick or treating in Scotland sounds terrible! Excruciating for children and adults alike

It’s a wonderful community feeling actually, with some great exchanges.

asking her defeats the object in some ways, if she wanted to do this, she would? There will be some houses where bowls are left out and she could easily take one extra for him, but I wouldn't even mention it to her.. if she does it without asking then that would be a lovely surprise for him.

But if she wouldn't do it without asking then you shouldn't ask her to do it IMO, just get him some sweets yourself.

It’s good fun. Promise! The older neighbours will invite the kids in to do ‘their turn’ and they decorate and such. Not a lot left who do it like that sadly.

For kids who are outgoing, yes I'm sure they love showing off at the door. But how do shy kids, or those who are neurodivergent fare? They probably won't be going out this evening I guess.