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AIBU?

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Husband lied about being on mounjaro

187 replies

Smartypantsloves · Today 00:32

First time poster so please be kind. Not sure if I’m over reacting so reaching out to see how others would feel in my position.

Bit of a backstory. Recently married. DH and I both wanted to lose weight before the wedding. He succeeded and lost a couple of stone within a relatively short space of time, whilst I completely failed. We had briefly talked about mounjaro, but never very seriously (or so I thought). We talked about being worried about any long term effects and both said we would prefer to go down the healthy eating/exercise route first. Fast forward to the wedding. I was happy for him that he had lost weight, a little disappointed in myself for not finding the motivation to do it myself, but ultimately I was happy in my dress and with the way that I looked on the big day.

After the wedding DH bragged that he had lost 3 stone since January and for the first time I questioned how he had managed it, with very little change in his lifestyle and zero exercise. In hindsight I realise he had been skipping meals and hadn’t had much of an appetite in the run up the the wedding. He was so busy at work so I just put it down to stress and him having a busy brain at the time. He just said he had cut down on his portion sizes and had been drinking less beer.

Anyway, to finally get to my point (thanks if you’ve made it this far)… Earlier today, I mistakenly opened a parcel addressed to him and saw the inside packaging was from an online pharmacy. I then realised my mistake so left the package unopened inside. Apologised to DH when he came home and unaware of any health issues he was having, I questioned what he had been ordering. He was slow to respond and without even opening the package, he told me that a friend at work had played a prank on him and ordered a mounjaro pen for him, basically saying he was fat after seeing the wedding photos (which he isn’t any more anyway). I immediately knew it was rubbish and it didn’t make any sense at all. I looked up the company and as I expected, saw that whoever ordered it would have had to send photos and proof of identity to get the prescription. Challenged DH and he admitted he had lied and apologised. He said he was embarrassed about trying it and he felt stupid for making up a story.

So my question is AIBU to feel really let down and concerned about him keeping this secret and then being dishonest about it? It doesn’t feel like the best start to married life. If he could hide something like this and then make up a ridiculous lie, what else has he hidden from me or lied about? Asked him why he hadn’t discussed it with me first or why he had felt the need to lie about it but he hasn’t explained.. He does tend to bury his head in the sand and avoid conflict whenever possible. He would rather just say he is sorry and move on without explaining himself or talking things through. For clarity, if he had told me he wanted to try it, I would have supported him completely. His body, his health, his choice but to hide it from me just feels really dishonest and to be completely honest, it would have made me feel less disappointed in myself, had I known before the wedding what he had been doing to lose the weight.

OP posts:
MinLynn · Today 12:09

PigletJohn · Today 12:07

A lot of people think us porkers are fat because we are greedy pigs and have no self control and no concern for our health and appearance.

Therefore the only respectable way to lose weight is by self denial.

Therefore using medication is "cheating" and despicable.

Maybe it's true.

But I've tried both and the jabs are more successful.

I don't give a fcuk who knows.

I believe it’s all just hormones. When you realise that it’s a game changer.

PigletJohn · Today 12:12

MinLynn · Today 12:09

I believe it’s all just hormones. When you realise that it’s a game changer.

Oh, is that what you believe.

I believe it it's from eating more than you need.

Triskellion75 · Today 12:15

Where does he keep it if not in the fridge? The pen needs to be refrigerated once opened.

MinLynn · Today 12:16

PigletJohn · Today 12:12

Oh, is that what you believe.

I believe it it's from eating more than you need.

Yes, but what drives some to do that and others have no desire? What causes some bodies to metabolise calories different than others?

Why/how does mounjaro work?

SilenceInside · Today 12:17

@Triskellion75 no, Mounjaro pens can be kept at room temp (< 30 degrees C) once in use. It’s in the paper instruction leaflet that comes with the pens. Only unused pens must be refrigerated.

PigletJohn · Today 12:21

I don't use mounjaro but I expect it works by slowing the digestion so you feel "full" more quickly and for longer so you don't feel the need, or the capacity, to eat more.

As you rightly said "how does it work"

Some people don't know how a fridge or a phone work. But they do, so we use them. Knowing how doesn't affect that.

LilyBunch25 · Today 12:22

WinterGhost · Today 00:40

DH doesn’t know I’m on mounjaro. I just didn’t want to have to explain myself or justify my decision, or have him think I’m taking the easy option. I guess I’m a bit embarrassed my weight go so bad and I couldn’t do it on my own so I don’t want anyone to know.

It’s no reflection on our marriage at all.

It's very different though as OP discussed it with her husband as an option and they both agreed it wasn't for them, then he went ahead and did it in secret. I would be very upset in those circumstances.

MinLynn · Today 12:25

PigletJohn · Today 12:21

I don't use mounjaro but I expect it works by slowing the digestion so you feel "full" more quickly and for longer so you don't feel the need, or the capacity, to eat more.

As you rightly said "how does it work"

Some people don't know how a fridge or a phone work. But they do, so we use them. Knowing how doesn't affect that.

It works as a dual receptor agonist, meaning it mimics and activates two natural gut hormones in the body: GLP-1 (glucagon-like peptide-1) and GIP (glucose-dependent insulinotropic polypeptide

Do you feel shame when your phone or fridge aren’t working properly?

PigletJohn · Today 12:29

So why did you ask?

latetothefisting · Today 12:37

to be honest, the fact he is so rubbish about addressing conflict sounds like more of a red flag to me than the initial lying. I think you really need to sort this or how can you progress with a relationship where one partner just hides away from everything?

I can see the point of posters that if it was just him losing weight then it could potentially be understandable he wanted to keep it private, although even then there are issues like the finances, presumably as next of kin you'd be asked about any medication if he was in an accident, etc.? But the fact you were supposed to be doing it together and he knew you felt rubbish about not having succeeded whereas he was cheating, is really sly.

magnoliagardenialilac · Today 12:43

It's a bit stupid, really, in the event something goes wrong and he collapses and requires hospitalisation. I guess they'd figure it out eventually.

Triskellion75 · Today 12:46

SilenceInside · Today 12:17

@Triskellion75 no, Mounjaro pens can be kept at room temp (< 30 degrees C) once in use. It’s in the paper instruction leaflet that comes with the pens. Only unused pens must be refrigerated.

Ah, my husband is on it and keeps his in the fridge.

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