To think some men raised by single mothers develop a distorted idea of masculinity that can manifest as misogyny?

[WryJadeWren]

I wonder whether some boys raised by single mothers, particularly where there has been no positive male role model in their lives, grow up with a distorted understanding of what masculinity actually looks like.

In some cases, I wonder whether they grow up simultaneously putting their mothers on a pedestal while harbouring quite negative attitudes towards women more generally.

I’ve also noticed that some men can be fiercely protective of their mothers, yet hold deeply misogynistic views about other women. It’s an interesting contradiction.

I’m certainly not suggesting that all men raised by single mothers are misogynistic, or that having a father in the home automatically produces a well-adjusted man. Plenty of misogynistic men grow up in two-parent households.

But I do wonder whether the absence of a healthy model of masculinity, combined with certain mother-son dynamics, can contribute to this.

AIBU to think there’s something in this?

Did you miss the bit the OP snuck in at the end? 'Certain mother and son dynamics'? And the way in every single post they have referred to misogynist attitudes PLUS 'putting their mother on a pedestal, 'reverential' regard for their mother etc?
I'm fairly certain the OP doesn't believe it's the boy child that creates and drives 'the dynamic' she believes is at play. She believes men are the product of their upbringing and the relationship with their mother (the dynamic) creates the man.
She is hinting round the edges that single mothers treat their sons differently from mothers who coparent with a man. She likely includes things like presenting themselves to their sons as perfect innocent victims; as depending on their sons to be 'the man of the house'; as possessive and portraying other women as less than them so they remain number one. And that these behaviours performed during their sons formative years result in a man who hates all women except his mother who is unique and different.
Its not a new theory, OP has picked it up from somewhere and for whatever reason finds it appealing.

I think some of the least misogynistic men I've ever met were raised by single mothers. I assumed because they saw their mums doing everything, so they knew that women were human.

Some of the most misogynistic come from middle class families where the man of the house modelled it for them

So I don't think you can make blanket statements like the OP's and I don't think the OP is on to anything with it - I don't think it's even a large minority situation.

Oh always its like people often comment single fathers have better outcomes for their children but forget to tell you single fathers get judged less and get more support from women

Slut shaming so early you could have left it till page two at least

YABVU. I know you have said not all but this is a really offensive generalisation to make OP. I take it you are not a single mother yourself?

I wouldn't assume that there are NO male role models in that child's life at all.

This.

There's something tingling at the back of my head about this 'importance of male role models'. As if a woman can't model behaviour for a son. I dunno. I feel that this suggestion might be a part of the problem - the idea that a woman couldn't possibly raise a well-rounded male human without the input of a man.

Of course my sons have various male role models I suppose - my father, school teachers, friend's parents - but I am by far the majority influence in their life, and I would hope I'm modelling behaviour that applies to them just as much as it would apply to a girl.

I don’t think it matters whether they were raised by a single mother or not. Or whether they had male role models.

They can just as easily learn toxic ideas and misogyny from their fathers / the male figures in their lives.

There's something tingling at the back of my head about this 'importance of male role models'. As if a woman can't model behaviour for a son. I dunno.

I just find it another form of misogyny. Like the one that claims that criminal sons of single mothers are that way because their fathers were not around to “instil discipline and respect”. I grew up in an area with loads of shitty / criminal boys and single parent households.

Almost all the boys had equally shitty / criminal fathers though.

They also ignore any socio-economic differences.

I think it's well documented that boys from single parent households have worse outcomes, but let's be clear - this is caused by the absent father, NOT the single mother. Your post seems to imply it's the mothers....

Clearly families have a strong impact on how their kids turn out. Yes you can get brilliant people who were raised in awful circumstances (and vice versa), but in general most people follow the trend curve rather than buck it.

Girls will unconsciously model their understanding of what relationship to seek on their Father. Or at least they may not see upsetting behaviour as reasons to walk away, even if they dislike this behaviour, if this behaviour was normal in their household. Similar boys.

Boys will model their understanding of manhood on their Father, girls on their mother ( or other very close family members of the same sex).

We are social mammals after all, and we have evolved programming that we follow without realising it.

Decent parents of both sex are the ideal to raise kids, and even more ideal if within a wider extended family. Sadly most families ( including mine) do not get that.

Bloody hell, what a classic example of imposing your own political ideology where is doesn't belong.

Nowhere in my brain was I thinking 'sex' when I read the post you are responding to. Unlike you.

I was thinking, 'child with an insecure home environment with strangers continually invited in their home, and continually bonding with new males only to have them disappear from their life.' In other words, I, like I would hope most posters on the board, was thinking about the experience of the child. A continual revolving door of strangers to disappearing attachment figures is clearly not good for the child.

How you managed to think read that post and think 'think is about female sexual emancipation' is beyond me.

Why do you assume that a single mum either doesn't have sex and a relationship or if she does, it is with a revolving door of men introduced immediately to the children? There are other possibilities.....it is possible to keep a casual relationship where you don't introduce your children. Needs good childcare to manage (or a reliable ex) but it's not live the life of a saint or a sinner with nothing in between.

And yet plenty of people have disputed that on this thread. Please provide your evidence - not an opinion.

Is it even caused by the absent father? I think too many people confuse correlation and causation. We know they have worse outcomes compared to boys from two parent families on average but not why that is. May have nothing to do with the parents being separated.

Why do you assume they will have a revolving door of strangers?

Disputed what? That they have worse outcomes? Statistically this is fairly well documented, but often associated with higher chances of living in poverty (which makes sense as you have one earner rather than two) so it's difficult to split the two.

I am not sure what you want in the form of evidence though. You can google it, there are loads of sources.

This, btw, is not a criticism of single parents and it obviously doesn't mean that all kids of single parents do worse. It's just statistics.