Mother in law overstepping

[Yavannah]

So am I overreacting:
We are on holiday with my husbands family (parents, siblings, grandparents). Tonight at dinner my little one (9 months, our first) was getting towards too tired at dinner but was still cheerful so I was preparing to help him to eat as much as he could and stay as cheerful as possible before getting him whisked off to bed. He was getting a little fussy while everyone was dishing up and sitting down, and out of nowhere my MiL says "oh are you thirsty" and offers him his cup of water, I explained immediately that we generally only offer water after he's eaten something to avoid him filling up on water, then she took the cup away and he lost his mind (which he will do when tired and something he likes is taken away). He wouldn't eat a scrap of dinner and screamed unless actively walked around and distracted. My husband got annoyed as well as his mum kept coming to our end of the table to try (uninvited) to help (offering food etc.). Finally we finish dinner and get to take our baby up for a bath so we can get him fed (milk) and settled. We've just got him out of the bath and she walks into our room! She hung over our shoulders while we got him dried and into a nappy and it was awful, she practically deafened me squealing in my ear trying to cheer the baby up because he literally started screaming as soon as she came in the room. My husband is feeling overwhelmed because she won't back off and I was furious but staying calm. I know she means well, and she is an amazing babysitter in the week while I work, but she has done this kind of thing before (giving him toys in the high chair or nibbles of cake without my permission) and it feels very disrespectful. Am I being unreasonable to expect her to just stay in her lane as the grandma?

OP: “AIBU?”
88% of posters: “Yes”
OP: “But I’m not because blah blah blah”

Yawn.

OP, admit you’re wrong! Poor MIL.

I don’t think she could win here tbh, it’s tough in a big family setting because everyone tries to luck in but they don’t know their routine but I mostly accept their help because 1) they’re just trying to help and 2) it’s part of the chaos! Yes rules go out the window but that’s life

Sorry, OP while some posters may have been too direct, you got the advice you asked for : most people in this situation wouldn’t be annoyed and given she is lovely MIL and granny. wouldn’t get upset. You just don’t like this advice because you are annoyed and can’t understand that others wouldn’t be. Instead of accepting majority of opinions you insult them and tell them they are grannies. Also whether your mil begged you or not the fact that she provides childcare shouldn’t be taken for granted. You also need to understand that grandparents who provide childcare would do it their way and you always have a choice not to accept it but you can’t expect them to do it on your terms and also suddenly when you are around stay in their lane - they are involved, they are not paid nannies and they cannot switch off and on when you want them. You want them to stay in their lane, don’t use them for childcare and keep boundaries. I am saying this not as granny by the way but from experience - my mum provided childcare for my DS.

This will save me writing this. You need to start appreciating this woman.

Give the thirsty baby a bit of water for the love of all that is good.

and no I’m not a granny I am a mum to 3 kids under 6. I’m young. You are being PFB sadly and will have to laugh at yourself in a few years!!!

yes she is primary caregiver while you are at work

Threads like this make me realise how wonderful my DIL is regarding me taking care of my Grandchildren. If I thought for a second she was resenting me, for whatever reason, I would run for the hills. As it is I no doubt annoy her given her son was & is the image in personality & looks as my son therefore I feel It's second nature to help. Back off OP & appreciate where your bread is buttered.

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous comments. Presumably she brought your husband up but as a mother in law clearly that experience is not taken into account 😂

so his mum came up to your end of the table at the restaurant “Uninvited” !!!! Huh? ! You are a real piece of work , aren’t you .

It’s highly relevant. It says whether this is a woman trusted to care for your child across chunks of the regular daytime activities such as meals and naps because it does sound like she can’t do anything right with you.
I have 3 very healthy and very active dc who are always encouraged to have some water at the table, we eat meals as a family and we don’t have phones at the table, just to make it clear that there are people commenting who live normal family lives.

You told her you didn't want your child to have water, then blamed her for not giving him water. Why did you expect the poor woman to do?

Gosh your mil sounds like a dream compared to mine. Honesty she didn't do anything that bad. She was probably worried that baby was thirsty.
I don't think you should be withholding drinks like that especially on holidays where it's probably warm.