DH refusing to look after the kids whilst working from home!

[Beckyboo8]

It’s half term and we both work from home in senior management jobs! DH is in the bedroom working from home and is refusing to have the kids in the room while he’s working and he’s refusing to help look after them during his working hours! So I’m having to work from home at the dining table while having to look after 3 going children with SEN! I feel like I’m going insane already and it’s only Monday! AIBU to think DH should also help look after the kids whilst working from home?

I can’t put my children in a holiday club because of their SEN! The last holiday club they were in wouldn’t have them because they couldn’t manage their autism and their meltdowns.

He is quite right - he is working. You shouldn't be looking after them either, OP - surely your employer doesn't allow this? Just pay for proper childcare.

If so divorce him and 50% of the responsibility is his.

His solution is to do what every feckless father does - refuse to budge knowing the mum will have to step in

If he doesn't want the kids now, what on earth makes you think he would look after them post-divorce?

So what does he use his annual leave for?

You can’t make feckless fathers have their children.

You are being massively unreasonable and taking the piss with your employer frankly - though I suspect it’s the usual, tedious, rage-bait (esp with added SEN - shark jumped?). Take unpaid parental leave.

Thanks for giving us parents who WFH a bad name op.

You either find paid care that can deal with your children’s particular issues or take unpaid leave (and you do half your DH half. I wouldn’t expect a holiday club to be able to be a solution. This should have been organised well before now - and you both should have dealt with it together.

You are both their parents and both responsible for caring for them. You both need to split the week and take parental leave/ AL/ unpaid leave to mind your kids. You are meant to be a team. It is unreasonable of him to hold up his kiddke finger, tell you to F yourself and leave you to carry the load. You are also meant to be working.

You might want to look into a nanny or childcare options. If you can find one with adequate SEN training to manage the children and their behaviour. Its not easy when you have kids with additional needs.

Can you go into the office? Then your husband would have to take leave. Why are you allowing him to dictate what you do? You risk getting sacked. Of course he should "help", by taking annual leave or unpaid parental leave. You should too.
This has got to be a wind up surely. How on earth did you get to be a senior manager?

Yes, I wondered about that.

No, this is too risky. You need to be super careful to safeguard one of your jobs. It doesn't have to be his, but it has to be one of them.

Complete bollocks.

Realistically you both need to take alternative days of leave, and one of you needs to work from somewhere else on their 'working' day.

If you have kids that are unable to go to holiday clubs etc then either one of you needs to NOT be working during holidays or not working at all.

if your lifestyle can’t afford for one of you to not be working ten you need to change your lifestyle.

This must be a wind up. People like you are who give wfh people a bad name.

Sounds like a reverse to me.

His solution is that I look after them whilst working because he thinks his job is more important than mine!

So what's his solution? Can you manage on just his salary? Are your salaries sufficient to hire a part time nanny? If you are managing, just about, to look after the three of them while doing some work then it sounds like a nanny could cope?

He is being selfish, but you needed to plan in advance for this together, as a couple, about how your children will be looked after during this time. Come together as a coule about it to work on a solution, maybe that's only for the future, and maybe you both need to take some parental leave each this week, but come together as a couple to find the solution that works for your family.

Does your employer know you are doing this ? You really shouldn’t be getting away with it !!

is your husband the kids dad? If he is then it’s half his responsibility too.
annual leave , parental leave . Carers leave … if you’re both in good jobs and saving money from not paying for childcare then you can afford to take done unpaid leave

Well then divorce him? What an utter cunt.

Well is it? Does he earn significantly more? What would happen if you went to an office?

This is what AL is for when you're in the trenches OP. Both of you tag team.