DH refusing to look after the kids whilst working from home!

[Beckyboo8]

It’s half term and we both work from home in senior management jobs! DH is in the bedroom working from home and is refusing to have the kids in the room while he’s working and he’s refusing to help look after them during his working hours! So I’m having to work from home at the dining table while having to look after 3 going children with SEN! I feel like I’m going insane already and it’s only Monday! AIBU to think DH should also help look after the kids whilst working from home?

I can’t put my children in a holiday club because of their SEN! The last holiday club they were in wouldn’t have them because they couldn’t manage their autism and their meltdowns.

This must be a wind up. Of course, you can’t be employed and looking after 3 kids in the school holidays. 😂

Dh and I are both self employed, so technically we can do whatever we want, but we generally each take 2-3 days off and split the week. One of us has the dc, the other works. Then we switch the next day. Whoever isn’t working just keeps an eye on emails and social media to keep things ticking over.

How can you work and look after children at the same time?! That's impossible. As a parent, you need to plan. Irresponsible of you both to have not made arrangements for the children or taken leave from work.

He's working. You want him to lose his job?

You guys should have sorted childcare or one takes leave half the time and the other the other couple half. You're senior management and you can't figure that out?

Why didn't you plan anything? Did you expect to work as normal?

Exactly! Are you actually serious? Does your employer know you are looking after children while being paid to do your job?

I understand it’s not an ideal situation for anyone but I’m trying my best to look after them whilst working and I feel that DH should be trying to help!

If you can't use a holiday club then you need to share leave between you.

It's not really rocket science.

Poor kids spending their holiday with two parents at home, and neither can give them attention.

Then you need to sit down with him and divvy up their time out of school fairly. Other parents use their annual leave to take care of their children, he needs to do the same.

Yes, both of you should be doing more - you should take turns to take AL to cover holidays.

None of you can work and look after 3 children.
Why didn't you plan childcare or annual leave?

DH must understand though, that you can't do it all - so what does he suggest? Can you give up work, or find a TTO job?

Hmm... I don't believe you, OP. If this is really happening then you and your DH are spectacularly stupid.

He’s going to have to take annual leave - between you that should cover 10 weeks.

Then you’re going to have to either a) refuse to WFT for Hal the remainder of the time so he has to step up and parent or b) hire people who can look after your children.

It's half term here, and we both WFH in senior management jobs, the difference is that the DC are 13 & 15 with no additional needs and just get on with themselves. We used to have to put them in childcare/take annual leave/grandparents.

I don't think that working with the DC at home is viable for you at the moment OP, what do you do after school?

DH refuses to do that though

Making the best of a bad situation, one of you covers mornings and the other covers afternoons so you can both manage at least 4 hours work uninterrupted. And don't give him a choice. They're 50% his children.

This is second "taking piss about wfh" in as many days. Really?

You divorce. He will then have to have the kids some.of the holidays and figure out what to do with them.

You are overdoing the exclamation marks.

What about her job? It sounds like she’s expected to use all of her snnual leave and then to still cover thd rest of the school holidays when she’s run out of annual leave.

Sooner or later this is going to come out, and you're risking your employment.

If they are too much for you to cope with alone, it's going to become obvious you aren't managing your work too.

You both need to sit down, rethink and come up with a better plan or otherwise plan how you'll cope on one wage when the inevitable happens.

Neither of you can work from home and care for three high needs children.

You need to sit down with your DH and co-ordinate what you are going to do for each school holiday.
Take annual leave on different weeks.
Take unpaid parental leave.
Hire a babysitter or nanny.

It’s frustrating because it means you don’t get time off together, but ideally you need to split your leave between you to cover the holidays or at least minimise the time you are trying to juggle working while you’re at home. Between you, you should be able to cover at least 8 weeks of school holidays if you only get the statutory minimum, potentially all 13 weeks if your employer is more generous.

Have you asked him what his solution is?

And you both also use the unpaid leave for caring responsibilities that you are entities to