DH refusing to look after the kids whilst working from home!

[Beckyboo8]

It’s half term and we both work from home in senior management jobs! DH is in the bedroom working from home and is refusing to have the kids in the room while he’s working and he’s refusing to help look after them during his working hours! So I’m having to work from home at the dining table while having to look after 3 going children with SEN! I feel like I’m going insane already and it’s only Monday! AIBU to think DH should also help look after the kids whilst working from home?

I can’t put my children in a holiday club because of their SEN! The last holiday club they were in wouldn’t have them because they couldn’t manage their autism and their meltdowns.

Best you fuck off back to the office then and leave him to it

It’s less that it’s “not an ideal situation” and more that it is dishonest. I’m glad I’m not your colleague or employer as you’re letting both down.

Parental leave is a legal right which enables families to be able to take unpaid leave

This

one of you should have taken annual leave

Just send the kids up to where he is working then take yourself off to Costa or the library or somewhere else that has WiFi.
When you go back home later tell him he can do his share or he can leave and look after them all 50% of the time.
Job done.
I’m assuming he agreed to have all 3 even though each has SEN. What makes his job more important than yours. He should be helping or suggesting alternatives.

You’re quite right that it’s a legal right.

However, many households just couldn’t afford to lose 50% of their income routinely.

This family faces the reality that ultimately, one of them is likely to forfeit their whole career. It’s a horrific position to be in.

YABU to both be working & attempting to look after 3 SEN children. One of you needs to reduce your hours to part time or use a nanny.

What age are they & do all 3 really behave so badly they aren’t welcome at holiday club? If so that’s bad luck all 3 are like that & what happens after school? Are you pretending to work whilst going off to do pick up & looking after them at home?

I don’t think both parents having senior corporate jobs with 3 children is sustainable unless you have grandparents on hand or a brilliant childminder. That’s not assuming you should be the one to go part time btw.

You take it in turns to take unpaid parental leave or annual leave.

Tell him if he refuses to look after his own kids equally for his fair share of his time looking after them then he can fully fund a childminder who specialises in caring for SEN children

A thread full of people who have obviously never tried to find child care for SEN children!
You need to have a good chat with OH about how you can work together this week it shouldn't be down to you.

Came here to say exactly this

You and your DH need to take a mix of annual leave and parental leave so that you cover all of the holidays between you. It's obviously not possible to work whilst looking after 3 SEN kids.

I didn’t say she should. I said he shouldn’t because he is working, and neither should she.

They need to work out where is appropriate for them and how to manage it, but the OP is about whether he should look after them whilst working, and he definitely shouldn’t

Do you have any family that could help out? Are your hours of work set? Could you do two “shifts” in the day to both get the work done, but also be present with the children? I.e, DH wakes early and does his work for the day whilst you have the children and then you swap and work later into the evening?
I also WFH but I could never do it whilst my two are home and they are not SEN, so it must be impossible for you with 3 children.

This is the only solution. U both need to sit down and find childcare providers for the next holiday. I would see if you can both get some last minute annual leave

Please don’t extend this to everyone who works from home. I have never covered holidays in this way and I have a fully remote job.
My children go to holiday clubs as I couldn’t do my job with them around and would never take the piss like that. Not everyone who WFH is defrauded their employer.

If they're both senior managers who work from home, then they must have found childcare before?

Have you missed the part in the OP where she’s working as well and then the fact in an additional comment from the OP that he refuses to use his leave allowance to help cover childcare during holidays so she can work properly? So basically leaves it entirely to her?

You have no idea whether that’s true

Maybe they’ve always struggled through like this. Or maybe something has changed ie OP is just back from maternity or has. Anew job.

Ok. She never said that though? She said the problem is squarely with the husband and his lack of support.

You need childcare for the holidays. That is crystal clear.

The problem is with the husband. That doesn’t negate the fact that it’s not clear they “must’ve found childcare before” as you stated

Well they must have found childcare before.