DH refusing to look after the kids whilst working from home!

[Beckyboo8]

It’s half term and we both work from home in senior management jobs! DH is in the bedroom working from home and is refusing to have the kids in the room while he’s working and he’s refusing to help look after them during his working hours! So I’m having to work from home at the dining table while having to look after 3 going children with SEN! I feel like I’m going insane already and it’s only Monday! AIBU to think DH should also help look after the kids whilst working from home?

I can’t put my children in a holiday club because of their SEN! The last holiday club they were in wouldn’t have them because they couldn’t manage their autism and their meltdowns.

I can’t put my children in a holiday club because of their SEN! The last holiday club they were in wouldn’t have them because they couldn’t manage their autism and their meltdowns.

What do you do with them normally during the holidays? Have you had care assessments from Social Services, and have you asked about respite care?

She hasn’t asked for advice on her WFH permissions, she’s worried about her DH taking no responsibility.

You are both unreasonable and neither of you should be working whilst the kids are home, you do what everyone else does, annual leave, split between both of you to cover more holidays, if you can't use holiday clubs, use unpaid parental leave, or use family to help.

I don't believe this is a real post because nobody in a senior management role would overuse exclamation marks to this extent.

If he won't help and your work is suffering then you need to get up early and go and work somewhere else and leave him to it. It might make him realise that you need childcare

He’s being a dick, it should be shared.

Yes. Love this. Are you able to get to / work from the office? If so, head out tomorrow morning and give him a breezy goodbye - "I have to work from the office today, but I think it's fair to leave you with the kids as I took care of the them the whole of yesterday whilst I was working. Bye!"

Annual leave.

Im a remote worker and whilst my employer allows reasonable flexibility for childcare - school pick ups and drop offs etc - they would not be happy for me to be providing full time child care during my working day. Thankfully now my ‘kids’ are not at childcare stage, but if they were I’d take annual leave if I was unable to book them into a childcare provision

Bye DH I’m off to the office for 2.5 days this week so I can get work done.

You need to pay for childcare of some sort

@Thereshewasjustwalkingdownthestreet "Also why do people keep having more kids if they all have SEN and holiday clubs refuse to have them?"

I'm surprised you haven't been crucified for this comment, but I totally agree.

Well obviously he is selfish. What would his reaction be to you giving up work. You need to divide the holidays and your leave ir onr of you gives up work. If you have SEN you might get unpaid leave for caring responsibilities

Then take AL.

Or, luckily as you're both 'in senior managment' you can afford for more bespoke childcare options that work for your children.

Neither of you are being paid to watch your children. Yabu for not having childcare

I'm not sure how anybody could look after 3 SEN dc and work at the same time, let alone in senior management jobs. Many people have to give up work entirely due to the SEN needs of 1dc, not sure how you do it with 3.

If you're both in senior jobs, presumably with the salaries that go with it, you can afford a well paid person to come and care for them.

How did you manage to have 3 dc with someone so selfish as your DH.

You are being unreasonable.

Your husband is right not to be looking after children when he is supposed to be working. You shouldn't be either.

Your childcare issues are for you and your husband to resolve. If you can't take it in turns to take leave you will have to find another solution.

You need to sit down with him and work out days off to cover school holidays. He sounds absolutely useless

trying to a different holiday club, even if its only half a day care. Local childminder

Which I get but wfh and looking after them isn’t the solution

You will have to take unpaid parental leave in future. You can’t leave three kids with sen unsupervised all day.

Then you have to take leave

So if we have no childcare for our children in the school holidays - myself or my husband takes annual leave. Fact of life for working parents.

This or if you cant use clubs, one of you needed to take annual leave or unpaid parental leave.

DH and i are both in senior management jobs. Hes taken 2 days AL and ive taken 2, they are in a club the 5th day

My suggestion would be to make sure that you have work commitments that require you to be in the office for all of the next school Holiday and tell DH that if he can't look after them at home he will need to sort childcare.