Not disclosing my age to new lover

[Pomegranatecarnage]

I met a man through a friend about a month ago. My friend is 4 years younger than me, and this guy was in school with her, so I knew his age. We’ve been on 10 dates already, and have planned our first night together tonight! However-he said something last night that made me realise that he thinks I’m younger than him. I’m 3 years and 5 months older. I don’t want to tell him-but should I? He’s never asked my age. I thought he already knew. AIBU to avoid the question?

As regards the planning of sex-It’s not unromantic to want to sleep together for the first time when you can stay the night and have an empty house. We both have children living at home and my child is only out of the house overnight when they stay with their partner- so to a certain degree planning is necessary-not in a “military operation “ style, but as in we would like to take it further but not when there are teenagers around.

Yes-our 11th date will be this evening, and our 12th on Thursday. I’ll stop counting at some point!

Good for you OP. Enjoy!

You must look great for 57 😄 I'd have taken great delight in telling him my age if he said that!

I don’t think men are too observant as regards age. I probably look a bit younger her due to my hair and clothes but no woman would think I was under 50.

@Pomegranatecarnage - this sounds an excellent way to be spending 57!!! And planning sex can be very romantic. As a fellow 57yo, I'm living vicariously through you on this (don't think my DH would be too pleased with me going on dates and having sex with other men😀). Wishing you terrific 11th and 12th dates!

Also, I don't tell my dad this but I do think my stepdad was the love of my mum's life and they met when she was 55 and he was 58.

I'm sure he already knows, you're overthinking!

Is it possible he does know your age, but was just flattering you?

Of course you tell him.The threads I’ve seen on here of women complaining about men not being honest about their age.You haven’t lied but you’ve also not disclosed it either,honesty is always the best policy.P.S have a great time 🙌

Glad everything went well, as you're planning more dates.

This!

Oops. Read more now.

Actually, OP, you could - at your respective ages - look on the age discrepancy as a bit of an advantage. Men often age more quickly than women after about 60 and women do tend to live longer. So, if this relationship gets established and ripens into something long term, then I think it's "evening things out a bit". Good luck OP.

If you know that this man thinks you're younger than him, and you clearly know you're not, then you need to be honest with him.

Yes, you can argue he's made assumptions based on your friend's age, and hasn't bothered to ask. However, by staying quiet, it could potentially be taken by him, when he does find out (and he will), that you deliberately lied.

If after telling him that you're a whole 3 years 8 months older than him, he does a runner, then he wasn't the right man for you. It's not much of an age gap, in the grand scheme of things. However, by telling him, you are giving him a choice to continue in the relationship or not.

Did he mention fact you’d fibbed? Or too distracted by the imminent planned sex?

There’s a fair few updates from OP on this thread

Tell him and enjoy your date.

I didn’t “fib”. I thought he knew, then when I realised he didn’t I told him the next day. He was surprised, but didn’t care.

How was the sex??

It was bloody marvellous, thanks! 🤩

This. I agree you are being weird about this.

I would not be worrying about this OP

Ah great news op! Enjoy great sex on your 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th .......

Its a non issue as you know and probably just your pre sex nerves talking!!