Not disclosing my age to new lover

[Pomegranatecarnage]

I met a man through a friend about a month ago. My friend is 4 years younger than me, and this guy was in school with her, so I knew his age. We’ve been on 10 dates already, and have planned our first night together tonight! However-he said something last night that made me realise that he thinks I’m younger than him. I’m 3 years and 5 months older. I don’t want to tell him-but should I? He’s never asked my age. I thought he already knew. AIBU to avoid the question?

Of course you have to tell him 😂

This is a non issue, it’s almost the same age. If it comes up it comes up, why hide it

Avoiding the question isn’t ok, but you don’t have to tell him if he’s not asking I guess. But when it comes up just tell him! He likely won’t be bothered and it’s seriously weird not to tell him.

If you trust him enough to get naked with him then surely you trust him enough to tell him the truth about when you were born.

You have a very weird hang up about age, to be counting it in years and months, and to plan on lying about it. I think you should be more mature.

Only if he asks. I don't tend to go around making sure everyone is OK with my age. If they ask, I answer. My boyfreind is younger than me and it's not something we regularly discuss or even remember.

Unless you are all in your teens, this really is not an issue.

And the longer you leave it, the harder it will become to do it. No need to force it as a topic, just correct him next time he says something.

Why. It hasn't come up yet and they are enjoying each others company.
X

You'd think. You're being weird, OP.

I think it’s very odd to purposely avoid telling him.

At 10 dates I would assume this is heading in the direction of a relationship, possibly already at that stage given the frequency of seeing each other. If this is the case for how long would you be planning to not say it?

3 years older is nothing, I doubt anyone would be bothered, but imo they almost certainly would be weirded out if they find out much later down the line because they’re inputting passport details for a holiday or something.

Unless he is 16 and you're 20 that age gap is nothing.

Do you know the hours and minutes of how much older you are, too?
This is exasperating and much ado about nothing.

No need to volunteer the information. You might need to if things get serious and having children is on the cards, and you are at an age for those years to matter. But that's a long way from now. Enjoy.

Come on, @Pomegranatecarnage - grow up! 😄 How long do you plan to hide your passport and maybe CV from him? If your friend knows your age they may already have mentioned it - or it may not occur to them that you think it’s an issue.

I’d find it indescribably tedious to have to monitor everything I say to avoid revealing that I’ve been alive for an extra 3 years and 5 months.

And truthfully, would you want a relationship with a man to whom it made any difference whatsoever?

It has come up. The OP wrote However-he said something last night that made me realise that he thinks I’m younger than him.

You've been on 10 dates I don't think a couple of years is going to make a difference and if it does then surely it's better to know that now.

Just tell him

He’s said something that insinuates he thinks she’s younger than him though. Obviously the wider context matters but if I said something to someone I was dating such as “oh you probably don’t remember what the clubs were like in 2010 as you still would’ve been at school” and then later found out they’d just gone along with it instead of correcting me I’d be weirded out.

I might just be me but name, age and job are the first things to find out. Housing and kids after that.

Personally i think you should tell him. The fact you are thinking of deliberately not telling him makes you seem quite devious . If the relationship turns out to be a long term one then it's going to possibly make the age difference an issue when he finds out whereas in fact if he likes you it shouldn't be. You are in danger of making this a problem.

Why are you ashamed of your age?

It's just a fact - like your eye colour or your shoe size 🤷‍♂️

What ages are you?

Nothing worse than someone being dramatic over there age
if it come up in conversation tell him if not don’t bother
whatever you do don’t lie there’s no need

…If He’s going to break up with you because you are 3 years older than him, better to find out now before it goes any further

Just tell him.. I’m 7 years older than DP and he’s happy with it