Not disclosing my age to new lover

[Pomegranatecarnage]

I met a man through a friend about a month ago. My friend is 4 years younger than me, and this guy was in school with her, so I knew his age. We’ve been on 10 dates already, and have planned our first night together tonight! However-he said something last night that made me realise that he thinks I’m younger than him. I’m 3 years and 5 months older. I don’t want to tell him-but should I? He’s never asked my age. I thought he already knew. AIBU to avoid the question?

It's not a big age difference, why not say?

Why are you so obsessed about this? She already answered your question and several others have explained it for you. So what if she’s funny about age? It’s not a crime.

If the Op posts about her age…. Expect questions about your age 🤷‍♀️

@Pomegranatecarnage - great username. I'm 57, too - it's a terrific age to be! My libido is thrumming along nicely several years after menopause. And honestly, I'm ordinary looking and could do with losing about 3 stone but I feel pretty fabulous in myself.

All that said - I think you should tell him. If you don't, it becomes a thing because you know he thinks you're younger. If you being 4 years older puts him off then he's not worthy of you and he's not the man you thought he was. But it sounds very unlikely that it would put him off.

Have fun!

Why did you need to trawl through OP's other threads? What made you do that? You're very naive to think people don't change minor details on here. I change my DC's ages, my age, area where I live etc. when I post on here. Before you go looking for them, they're under a different username...to stop people like you linking things up.

Thank you! My libido is through the roof! I will tell him though.

She was asking about a particular scenario. Not general views. Weird you went raking into her previous posts.

He’s a very straight forward man who is so kind and sweet. He wouldn’t take the piss.

I haven’t lied to him at all, it was only last night that I realised he didn’t know my age.

That is an old fashioned - and rather naff - view, that belongs up there with men giving away their daughter at the wedding, and a man having to ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage. And women saying they will obey their husband in the marriage vows!

No reason why women shouldn't be honest about their age when entering a relationship - as well as men.

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This. ^ That poster seems weirdly obsessed with the OP, and the discrepancy in her age on two different threads. It's just 4 years. Who cares?!

Yep, very weird!

I thought this was going to be one of those posters who are in their 50s but keep getting mistaken for their children's younger sibling. Instead there's an age gap of less than 4 years! Just tell him. He's hardly going to run away screaming, is he?

😂

Why don't you want him to know your age?

I mean, I don't think you need to go out of your way to tell him?! Simply because it's a bit of a non-issue surely? I recently set up a friend of mine with a colleague - they are both divorced in their 50s, and it's early days but it's all going very well.

I don't know how old my colleague is, and I said to my friend 'I think she may be a bit older than you' before they met (I don't know her age either). They're a couple of months in now and he still doesn't know her exact age - he really doesn't care about the number!

Tbh, I think I would have said something at that point. Probably in a jokey way too. It's flattering that he thinks you're much younger though!

If you are prepared to have sex with him, why on earth are you so coy about your age?

Do you have another (11th) date planned?

If you don't tell him, you are lying. Not a great way to start a relationship. I'd suggest it's a bit pathetic to be embarrassed about your age.

Man I’m dating.

Why are you planning sex? That sounds very unromantic and intentional.

Wouldnt you rather have sex knowing he likes you for who you are? Rather than waiting until after, telling him, and him potentially having a problem with it? At that point you’d feel absolute shit if he ended it.

Just be honest, if he has a problem with it, then he’s a loser. You’re both in your 50s, it makes zero difference if one of you is 3 years older than the other.

Tell him quickly before it becomes 3 years and 6 months

As you have a friend nearly 8 years younger (is that what you said?) why bother if it's a boyfriend? Obviously would be a legal issue if he was much younger and you were in a sexual relationship, but that's not the case. Some people don't like age gaps, but it's better to be honest than this be a problem later, if you think he is going to have an issue with it.

Lover” seemed appropriate as we are planning to have sex this week.

Wish you started a thread about this agreement!!

Well, thank you for all the replies. He started talking about his older brother and I asked how old he was. Luckily he’s 57 so I was able to say that I was the same age. He was surprised, but then said he didn’t care. Then we had sex-as planned!!

My friend was in school with him. She is 3 years and 10 months younger her than me!!