Not disclosing my age to new lover

[Pomegranatecarnage]

I met a man through a friend about a month ago. My friend is 4 years younger than me, and this guy was in school with her, so I knew his age. We’ve been on 10 dates already, and have planned our first night together tonight! However-he said something last night that made me realise that he thinks I’m younger than him. I’m 3 years and 5 months older. I don’t want to tell him-but should I? He’s never asked my age. I thought he already knew. AIBU to avoid the question?

Or he may just be very happy to be starting a relationship with you.
What are we supposed to do? We all look different as we get older, including him.

That’s when I would have said I was over 50 🤷🏻‍♀️

I haven’t avoided telling him, he never asked and I thought he knew.

There's really not much difference between 54 and 57, surely?
It just sounds like you're having a confidence crisis.

As someone in your age bracket, I'd say he was flannelling you a little bit and quite possibly knows you're over 50.

Just take it as a compliment and next time the opportunity comes up naturally you can tell him.

But you did avoid telling him when he suggested you were under 50.

That would be the point at which I'd have mentioned it

Tell him. It won’t matter.

I have an aversion to the word ‘lover’ though 🤢😏

Yes-I know that now. I was a bit drunk and it didn’t sink in till the time had passed.

Answer if he asks.

I couldn’t refer to a “boyfriend “ at 57, and “partner” sounds weird for someone I’ve known a month. “Lover” seemed appropriate as we are planning to have sex this week.

What terminology would you suggest?

@Pomegranatecarnage - he’s already thinking ahead to your 50th birthday and the extravagant celebration he’ll be throwing for you …

Awks …

Yeah but your question here is literally is it ok to avoid the question? It’s obviously your aim to avoid it going forward

He hasn't asked. He doesn't care. If he asks tell him 🤷‍♀️

Gentleman Caller
Fancy Man
Toy Boy

If a man said that to me (64) he'd be dumped. It's just so incredibly ageist.

That’s very funny. I’ll opt for “gentleman caller”.

He didn’t mean it like that. He has a very physical job and his knees are creaky. It was a throwaway comment of self-deprecation. It’s not ageist to observe that one’s joints get more painful as you age.

Can you imagine a man writing this . Easily the most ridiculous thing I’ve read on MN

What, ever? More than the screaming in the Sistine Chapel?

Yes. Ever.

Your age is a complete non-issue. If he doesn’t want to see you anymore based on that you’re 3yrs older than him, then he’s a walking red flag. And you’re a red flag too for deliberately keeping your age from him.

Man! New man/bloke.

Its not really a problem.
Unless you are 15 and 12

It’s a 3 year difference, not 30 years, so I’m baffled 😵‍💫.