DH changing the house without my input

[PersephoneParlormaid]

I went away for the weekend and as a ‘surprise’ DH changed something in the house, it’s been fitted by a professional so not easily changed, and I have no choice but to use it daily until it breaks several years from now. DH said he did it to be nice. I said that I don’t like him changing things without some input from me as it’s my house too. He said I’m ungrateful.
Do I have to be grateful for things I don’t want/didn't ask for?

No, you don’t have to be grateful.
Is it something he really wanted and knew you wouldn’t, so he got it done whilst you were away and is trying to convince you it was a surprise for you?

Something that is used every day by them both but apparently nobody else as it is so outing 🤣

Something unique to this couple 🤔

I want one of those! If my DH had one of those installed I would be most happy 😊

Or it's something she's suggested they get and he's remembered and had it installed thinking it was a nice surprise?

I actually like washing up the old fashioned way. Other house hold chores like hoovering I hate but washing up I find relaxing 🤣 I don’t like dishwashers and made it very clear I would never want one or use it. I don’t see the point in having to rinse everything off and then having to load it all in a dishwasher (just my personal preference )and I know a lot of people would disagree with me . Anyway he got one installed, tried to pass it off as him being thoughtful , but I wasn’t grateful as I made it clear to him how much I detested them , and took it as him being completely thoughtless 🤷‍♀️ He’s never used it either by the way 🤣

AIBU? Someone did something that I can’t tell you about but should I be grateful or outraged?

This 100% depends on what it is!!

If it was a beer machine that was wall mounted for him then yes!! be ungrateful. But if this was a media wall or something like that, that you have spoke about for ages but never put much thought into it then be grateful he was trying to do a nice thing.

Yes! It's a guessing game! 😂

I think I've got it now - toilet in the middle of the living room, opposite wide screen telly of course, with wood - fired pizza oven close by. That covers everything, doesn't it ?

Just about.
Does it have a freestanding loo roll holder 🤔

Yes, good point. You wouldn't want to have to waddle across to the wall when you've got your jeans around your ankles. Although you could take the opportunity to check on the pizza if the loo roll was close to that.

it’s got to be a stairlift

😂

You know that would actually be one of my mates dream house

Over the years dh has bought me an endless amount of presents that 90% of women would love (techs stuff, a watch, beauty stuff) even though he knows a voucher/ some books/ fluffies would do the job and I love picking stuff so I get where you’re coming from about ‘having to be grateful’- my friends and dh all think I’m ungrateful but I’ve told him thanks every time but then he’s noticed they don’t get used

Ps I’m thinking he changed your shower to one of those rain showers

My DH had my car one day, quite normal for us to swap cars, I think it needed the speakers changing because they were making a funny noise. I came home to find he’d had Android Auto fitted, reverse sensors fitted and a reversing camera, none of which I wanted, I’ve never backed into anything in my life.

I was angry to the point of tears. He hadn’t asked, I didn’t want it, it was MY car. It also meant I’d need to upgrade my phone which wasn’t compatible. I was raging. He thought he’d done me a favour, I was incandescent. Years later, I now couldn’t live without it, it I was sodding furious at the time. I told him that he needed to ask permission if he wanted to change something, even if it was ‘better/for my own benefit’ etc. Discussion and permission is key when something so huge happens. I was not grateful, why should I be?

If he’s swapped the bath for a shower, I’d divorce him.

I don't know why everybody is hung up on what the item was?
No, you don't have to be grateful when something has been done that you didn't want and wouldn't have agreed to if asked.
You can be politely appreciative of the thought behind it without having to be grateful!

Hahahaaa