To think parenting high energy little boys is a different type of parenting?

[iwonderificould]

DS is now nearly six and I have to say I love parenting him now although he can still be quite hard work, but he’s got bags of energy, fearless, independent and fun to be around.

But thinking back to when he was a toddler … it was really hard work and not very enjoyable. He didn’t really play with toys in any meaningful way but could create chaos in seconds. One of his favourite things to do was to pull books off the bookcase and throw them across the room, or empty the cats water bowl. He was just a mini wrecking ball of energy and mischief. He didn’t even watch TV so I didn’t have that option.

We ended up out a LOT as a result. I remember my friends from the NCT group (all with girls!) commenting on it. If there was a group, we were there, we did soft play, parks, all sorts, I had so many passive aggressive sort of comments about it.

Three years later I had my second child and I understood that actually you don’t have to be out all the time. DH and I waited for her to destroy the house (sort of toddler part 2) but it didn’t happen and still hasn’t. I can stay in and do puzzles and playing.

There wasn’t and isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with ds; the opposite but I do find even now that energy needs burning. So when I read on here things like ‘when do they get time to chill / I loved staying home doing crafts and playing with mine / oh a long bath is all they need’ I realise some of us with children with bags of energy … we are doing a very different parenting journey!

I have two boys with bags of energy, the holidays are the worst, it’s been stormy with gales and rain but they still had to go out and burn energy off! It’s exhausting!

It's not a boy/girl thing. But yes my children are like this. I don't know why because I am completely the opposite, I would ideally like to move as little as possible and stay in my nice warm/cool house 🤷‍♀️

Yes, parenting high energy children is different. I say children as I have 2 boys, the first just like you describe and the 2nd not. He has a totally different temprement and doesn't need to be exercised and sits and colours and is content. My first needs walking everyday or else it is carnage.

Defo not a boy girl thing. Girls can be like this and boys can be placid

DS1 had to be kept out. He hated being home and emptied cupboards, climbed, jumped… also didn’t sleep during the day AT All and wasn’t great at night.
DS2 was much more manageable. Took naps, and was responsive to what was going on. DS1 was on his own program.

While it’s not a boy girl thing, there is a tendency for boys to bang things together and girls to talk to them. I was very surprised as a right on teacher I did all the things non gendered. Still got boy behaviour. A boy with a hand bag, wearing my heels and pushing a pram but none the less very boy. Lots of banging and peeing in random places.

I might have had a very noisy girl, but My only girl arrived age 3 and was perhaps already inducted into girl ways. 🤷‍♀️

A girl mum will never understand a boy mum...

YABU to make it a boy/girl thing.

I have a 7 yo girl who is a non stop ball of fizzing energy. I occasionally look at similarly aged children quietly colouring in at restaurant tables and think I must be doing something wrong. But it's just her personality. She lives life in full technicolour where emotions are big and everything is approached at full tilt. Other parents comment on her energy levels. It's exhausting but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yep defo not a boy or girl thing. With my Dd we never stopped- no off switch even when tired- shes 13 now still the same. My ds totally different, hes active but not in the same way.

I feel seen 😂😂

From the minute my son was born he was a wreckingball. Sleep has always been crap, he's always been loud, he's so giddy all the time, we are outdoors ALL the time and try to go to groups but often we have to leave as he's too wired. So many people comment on how much fun he is, and he is genuinely the funniest person I've ever met, but those people aren't with him 24/7 😂 It's truly exhausting.

Then our girl came along and honestly we could sometimes forget she was even around she's so placid.

Ok so my ds's do have adhd as a proviso but I can so relate.
Everything got taken apart or just pulled off shelves and out of cupboards.
I had child locks on everything
And yes I spent 90% of my time out and about. Walking in buggy then scooter then bikes. So many groups running round. Endless hours in the park. It was just easier than household destruction.
Tried so many arts and crafts as I adores doing them- they had zero patience. We baked at least 3 times a week as they loved that.
I used to organise activities at home with military precision as they would only spend 20 mins doing something nd if they were out of my sight somehting was destroyed.

Two girls here, one a compact whirlwind like the Tasmanian Devil, one not. I was one of five, one girl quiet, one a walking disaster zone, one boy quiet, one constantly on the move, one quietly getting up to all kinds of mischief that the two more active ones got into trouble for.

It has nothing to do with sex or gender roles.

More personality based in my experience of both gender.

I do know plenty of calm boys but I don’t personally know any completely bonkers girls although I don’t doubt that they exist.

My ds now 16 was so full on.

It was exhausting. He walked at 8 months and literally never stopped. He would climb on anything and everything he could.

Lots of his boy friends were much more placid.

He is still now very physical and has a lot of energy. Loves the gym, football, rugby and will take the dogs out for a 2 hour walk/run. Loved the dofe expeditions and that kind of thing.

Summer holidays can be frustrating as we want to do nothing and he is bored and pacing around asking if anyone wants to play tennis, er no thanks in 38 degrees.
Skiing holidays are good as he can go off with ski school ALL day and we can pootle about.

Yep my second DS is insane and we have to leave the house every weekend and after school, he just can't sit still nor stay in the one place for long. It's a constant battle for him to listen, there's constant chat, constant running about, it's exhausting and he never stops. I look at other children quietly colouring in at restaurants or in soft plays that have toy sections quietly arranging dolls or playing and wonder why he just doesn't do anything like that. He back flips off the tallest mats face first onto the floor, actively tries to smash his body into things as a "fun" activity, will scream and shout and pull faces, runs in circles round and round then sprints off without any backwards glance in shopping centres, will deliberately hide and/or run away when told not to, it never stops. This has been like this pretty much since he started to walk and then talk - he's not stopped running or shouting and talking since. He's five now and I just really need a break. My DH is mildly ND and likes quiet and peace, especially in the car (as he's a more nervous driver than me) and the constant shouting, jumping, laughing, questions I can tell really grates on DH. I cope a bit better but I can see DH actually have a sort of shut down in his head where he just can't engage anymore as it's too much.

My DS is a show off as well and loves to make other people laugh so will do silly dances, make silly faces, tell jokes, run about, ask silly questions and loves LOVES getting the attention from strangers so plays up to it. And I get it, when a child is being insane and chatty but also entertaining and it is NOT YOUR CHILD it can be easier to laugh along, whilst we grit our teeth and try to get him to COME BACK, stop it, calm down. Etc etc.

When I'm out with friends with similar aged children who sit happily, chatting, answering questions, being polite, not running away, quietly playing, it is hard and I can't help comparing my DS to their children (boy or girl). I'd hoped starting school would have helped a bit and he is loving school but at parents' night we were told he doesn't listen very well and tends to be quite boisterous in the playground and dominant during games. So I feel like this is going to be it for a long time and it's so so tiring...

A lot of that sounds like ds @Well1mBack . He’s got better as he’s got older but he can’t just sit … hanging off things, wriggling around, standing on his head, fidgeting from one leg to the other. Even now if I’m watching TV with him it’s constant questions ‘why is he doing that, what does that mean, why does he have wings’ I have on occasion said JUST WATCH IT!

There’s still plenty of time left. All the parenting journeys are different. You have a five year old, you will see lots more parenting challenges before you’re done.

Not totally sure of the point you’re trying to make in the context of my thread - that it’s just going to get worse, or what?

Ha yes, same for us! He will sit and watch TV but it's constant questions as well - for example today we put on the new Spider-Man into the multiverse cartoon as he said he wanted to watch the bigger version (it's been Spidey and friends until now) so I had a quick watch to make sure it wasn't too scary, and then let him watch the first episode. Anyway, I barely started watching it with him and it was constant questions, is he a baddie? Who's that? Is that Peter's aunt? Why is she doing that? Where is ghost spider? Who is that? Is that a doctor? Will he save them? What's their name? When is hulk coming?

I almost shouted JUST WATCH IT!!! 🤣 But I didn't of course, I answered as much as I could. It's like he asks a question then before we even finish answering him he's got another one he wants to ask. My DH will get so upset sometimes as he's still answering DS but he's off on another tangent. Why is the sky blue? Is the sun a planet? What does that mean? DH is doing his good science dad explanations and then DS changes to another question. God. Honestly exhausting but also cute. I just wish we sometimes got some down time...

I've three sons so zero experience of parenting girls, but they were fairly calm boys for the most part. They'd have a silly half hour most early evenings where they'd run around like mad things, but they weren't full-on all the time.

I have 5 girls and 2 of them are like this, one in particular (she has ADHD) is absolutely bonkers. I remember going on holiday to a haven with my cousin who had a boy of the same age (they were both 2) and she could sit and have a drink while he pottered around the table or sat and coloured, I didn't get to sit down for a single second because my daughter would run full pelt for the exit as soon as her feet hit the floor, she was trying to climb on the stage, on tables, running for the shop and trying to pull everything off the shelves, I remember being so jealous of her 😂

It’s just different personalities

My daughter is like this. I'd pop to the toilet and when I got back she would have pulled everything out the cupboard and emptied it, ripped all the flaps out the lift the flap books. Had to fiddle with everything, even door handles would be unscrewed. If it was high, she'd climb it. She calmed down a lot after around age 4 but was a bit of a shock after my calm quiet older child

They do exist. I made friends with a mum at play group, her daughter was an absolute ball of energy, constantly having to dance, climbing up anything that she could, never still. I remember once going to the park and her daughter just launched herself off the top of the climbing frame.

All my children (mixed genders) have been quiet and calm. I'm very thankful for that after seeing my friend constantly chasing after her daughter 🤣

It’s not a boy / girl thing. My DD1 was a whirling dervish but now is the most chilled teen imaginable. Her sister was the most chilled child ever, they were total polar opposites