I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

Don’t go it sounds risky

You are absolutely not over reacting. Cancel the date and block him. Please don’t cheapen yourself by even turning up to give him a chance. I feel so sorry that women have to put up with this disrespectful behaviour . It’s so common these days. Women gave been sold out. You might even put yourself at risk if you meet him. Trust your gut . I have never replied to mums net queries, issues etc. But couldn’t stand by and not warn you to trust your instincts and drop this guy.

I dont think you married one of the last gentlemen...that's tarring all men with the same brush, which is wrong.
I have a husband, a son and two grandsons...they all have respect for people in general and would never speak down to a woman like the creep in the OP did.

My own husband, who I have been married to for decades, actually told me ''his intentions were homourable'' after we had had a few dates....with no sexual encounters yet.

Even back then I found the remark quite old fashioned, but I liked it.😎

You offered to make him breakfast and said that it would make him strong....you walked into that one. It sounded like you were suggesting he stay over.

You can change your mind for any reason, even if the reason is his favorite color is purple and you hate purple. Something giving you the ick is a valid reason.

In my single days there were a few times I wish I'd not ignored the ick feeling :)

Well played OP

if he had just said sorry instead of calm down. Saved yourself a wasted evening

Absolute respect to you OP. I did a lot of online dating and met some right grim types. You have to block them early. Now married to a wonderful, kind, decent man I met online. They are out there xx

Just text him back and say "On second thoughts, I'd rather not...."

Let him work out why

Be upfront. Tell him that comment made you feel uncomfortable and that you are now feeling hesitant to meet up. Let him know that up until that point you were feeling excited for your date. Show him you are confidently setting a boundary whilst leaving the door open for him to respond and show you who he really is.

Nice trrrrrrry pal. 😂

Wow

Bit late to this - I hope you didn’t go. I would’ve found that completely offputting! you are in control & You have every right to say no thanks - gone off the idea. The comments suggesting you asked for it are shocking and just make me feel really sad for some women and the relationship relationships that they must be in themselves.

Head up! think of it as a nice swerve - imagine getting all dolled up and spending all that money on a date to find out he’s an arsehole! At least he showed you who he was early doors.

Disrespectful to you .. maybe other women accept this if you don't want to go you dont go.
Its not a date the first few weeks months of dating are all about seeing if this person matches your values etc .
You can change your mind at any point you dont owe an explanation .
Just a text to say ive had a change of heart send block move on.

How a person dresses or acts online or in person is not an invitation for sex.

I agree with everything you have posted on this thread. Especially this one.

It’s so weird that people are arriving on page 20 to tell OP to cancel a date she nixed 24 hours ago. Why not read her posts?

He could be just excited for the date but I would always trust your gut instinct and if it’s feels wrong then trust it

It's like bloody groundhog day reading some threads.
Why people cant at least read the OP's updates before they post is a mystery.

Well, this thread has certainly been an eye-opener when it comes to understanding how so many women end up with dim and disrespectful men. I can't believe there's a noticeable minority of posters who think that OP was overreacting. The bar is truly on the floor for some people.

It’s in no way your fault (how you dress, what you’ve said or not said), that he’s saying inappropriate things to you, before you have even met him. He’s clearly on the wrong wave length, which is a red flag. I’d cancel and say no thanks, you’ve changed your mind. Thank goodness you found out now.
it often seems to me that men believe women think like they do. Far from the reality.

Thank you. @TwisterSpice was vile for that one. Disgusting woman. I hope she or none of her female loved ones get unwanted sexual attention then told they sound like they need a fucking for protesting.

Brilliant 🤣🤣

Jtfrtj
I also agree with everything you have said here.
I don't know if some of the posters here are on crack or spice or valium? It's a strange forum these days.

Not that brlliant, image the guy is into BDSM, now you'll never get rid of him.

The people who say that HE dodged a bullet wouldn't recognise a red flag if a big red flag smacked them in the face saying I'm a red flag!

Even if people feel some sympathy for him that the OP disliked his innuendo and told him so, his response back was to tell her to calm down, that response will tell you so much about a man, and none of it is good!