I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

"I could definitely make innuendo out of pancakes and protein.
Pancake - referring to your genitals and eating remarks
Protein- doesn't take a genius to get from there to ejaculate
I'm a 43 year old widow with a child and I'd be laughing away, flirting and loving the joke"

I have been out of the dating game for a long time but I cannot seem to make the connection from pancakes to genitals. 😂It was the "calm down" remark that got me. Good job for making your thoughts crystal clear.

That’s just bloody rude.

Just chiming in to say I agree with you and would have only thought of pancakes in regard to strength training at the gym with protein powder etc. I think some people literally have sex on the brain 24/7 if they try and tie everything to it. It would be far more awkward to get into heavy sexual banter only to meet up in person and find out there is something about him you don't fancy and then have to try and backtrack from there

If the woman can serve it out she can eat it herself love.

Good news is the OP didn't go on the date, have sex and then find herself blocked the next day because she was too available. A not uncommon theme on MN

You sound like you need a good shag OP 😂

Bloke’s dodged a bullet.

Pancake is slang for vagina.

What if you were wrong about being sexually attracted to someone you've never met?

Did all the banter, met him and then realised you weren't attracted to him.

Of course, you can get out of it, but you're in a bit deeper than you need to be.

Good job she didn't mention kebabs!!

you must be the guy who blocked her 🤣

😂😂

Or he needs a shag (good//bad) and has been disappointed.

Imagine expressing frustration at receiving unwanted sexual remarks by men frequently and told to calm down about it, then be told you sound like you need a good shag. You sound like a man who belongs on some sort of register.

Is it? I was online dating for a while, never heard this. I'm honestly getting flashbacks off this thread, two to three weeks online dating at a time was my longest, it's an absolute cess-pit with the odd nice bewildered man in there wondering how to get out!

He is not a woman though. why would he say that? 😂

I think protein makes you constipated anyway.

Yes I probably gave him too much credit even imagining he’d see his fault.

BTW protein doesn’t make you constipated if you build intake slowly and your body is burning many calories 😉

You sound high maintenance
If you don't like what he said block him and move o
It is not a big drama

What is this lifting in bed about? As in lift into bed or some weird lifting thing going on once in bed?!

Wow. I'd reply back "Maybe it's not a good sign that we haven't even met yet, and you've already given me the ick. Bye."

Am I high maintenance or are your standards low?

But yes I do have high standards, I respect myself and my body. That’s not a character flaw. And I cancelled the date politely, there was no drama.

Too many explanations and unecessary lecturing of a stranger who's most probably looking for a shag (nothing wrong with that).

In the OP's shoes I would have sent him a short message: "sorry but this is not going to work, best luck with all", then block.

You totally did the right thing, ignore some of the ridiculous comments on here. I had very similar recently. Went on a first date (just a quick coffee), he messaged to say it was fun and would I like to meet again? I said yes. All he had to bloody do was say, great, when shall we meet? But he had to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and write a totally inappropriate message about me being "naughty" and what he'd like to do on the next date 🤮. I would normally have just deleted and blocked, but I replied saying we'd literally met for an hour and his message made me feel really uncomfortable. Like you I thought his response would indicate the type of man he is. He blocked me! I congratulated myself on a lucky escape.

Thanks for that. I genuinely didn’t know and will try again with the protein now. I did the same with the chia seeds, all in. I need to build things up. Thanks and good luck x

Sadly this is true but it's also why you need to know your audience. For the record I would have cancelled the date too BUT the OP seems unwilling to concede that her comment was potentially flirtatious and is getting very arsey by any suggestions that it was.
This pancake comment is something I might say to friend, husband etc but I don't think I'd say it to a random man I was meeting because I'd consider it could be taken the wrong way. It's really not the benign joke she thinks is is in the context of online dating. As I say it's no excuse for him taking it further and refusing to apologise but a bit of acknowledgment might avoid all the angst.

The trash took itself out.