Family unhappy to go to a vegan restaurant for my birthday

[HideTheDog]

It’s my birthday soon and I chose a vegan restaurant to eat at. It was only for me, my husband and children and they were all happy with the restaurant. It was booked weeks ago for 4.

Last weekend some of our family asked if they can join us for the meal so I asked for who wanted to come and increased the number of people on the booking. They knew it was a vegan restaurant.

Today I got a message from one of them to say that now there are more people and some don’t want to eat at a vegan restaurant, they think we should eat at another restaurant which serves non vegan food as well. I messaged back to say no and that I chose it because I like it and if anyone doesn’t want to come then to let me know so I can amend the booking again.

This person has obviously told the others and I’ve been invited into a WhatsApp group chat to discuss what we should do. 🤨 I’ve ignored joining their group chat and just sent another message saying it’s for my birthday and I picked the restaurant that suited the ones going originally, I won’t be changing the restaurant and if they want to go somewhere else they can. I’ve said I’m happy to go to another restaurant with them another time.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs. Is it really inflexible to want to go to a restaurant I choose on my birthday that was originally chosen and booked weeks ago for just the 4 of us? I don’t mind them coming, but I feel that they’ve tagged along and now want to change it to suit them.

I also wouldn't join the Whatsapp group, nothing to discuss.

Hi Op your son is right why not text and say because people are expecting me to change the restaurant I had originally booked for us 4 or whatever number it’s probably best I go back to the original booking. I’m not going to change my mind so no one is upset please leave coming on this occasion I will reduce the table size. Thanks

This would enrage me! How dare they 🤣

Oh tell them to go boil their heads! Go to the restaurant you’ve chosen!

CFs!

Maybe say that to save all the hassle you'll revert to just the four of you having the meal.

If the rest want to invite you somewhere else on a different day, you'll be happy to come along. But on your birthday you will go to the restaurant of your choosing.

I’d say “As it’s my birthday I’m paying for a restaurant I like. Of course if you want to treat me that’s another matter!”

Op didn’t invite them, they invited themselves. So for that reason alone they are being unreasonable inviting themselves then wanting to change the restaurant

I would tell them you've decided to go back to the original plan of the 4 of you going to the vegan restaurant.
"It was nice that you all wanted to come along but some people aren't happy with my choice of restaurant for my birthday meal so I think it's best if we go back to the original plan of just the 4 of us going out. See you all another time".
Leave WhatsApp group.

It's your birthday and your choice and they were rude to invite themselves.
In the future I'd just shut it down straight away and say "This time it's just the 4 of us". And every other time after that as well....

I totally appreciate how you all feel about vegan food. I've decided to stick to my original plan with DH and the kids, and I'll catch up with you guys another time.

What twats

I would tell them “Of course I’m inflexible about it, it’s my bloody birthday. “

Think your DM is spot on and you should cancel them.

I really don't know why anyone bothers with these large celebrations, they seem to cause nothing but angst and strife! Happy birthday.

I'd be telling them I've changed my mind again and we are going to a place that serves only carrots😆

Can I come as would love to eat a meal I don't normally do?

For goodness sake can't people try something different for ONE meal? Ridiculous. I went to a great vegan restaurant in Brighton and had a brilliant time. The food was delicious. Im not a vegan.

What a selfish shower of so and sos! The cheek of some people really is jaw-dropping.

yanbu I wouldn't enjoy a vegan restaurant as I like meat but don't have it at home so it's a treat. Restaurants are expensive so I probably wouldn't pay to eat something I wouldn't be particularly excited by. But it's your birthday so you get to choose where you go Especially if you've said it's fine for them to go somewhere else with you some other time, anyway.

I’d post a message in the GC
”Hi all, on second thoughts I’m going to stick to the original plan and just enjoy my birthday meal with DH and kids. I didn’t realise you would expect me to change my original birthday plans to suit everyone else. Sorry!” And leave.

Your son is right.

You should have kept it at just nuclear family only OP.

Wtf?! The cheeky bastards invited themselves and are now trying to bully you into changing the venue?! Fuck offffff, they’d be swiftly uninvited… no hardship to them, I’m sure, given the restaurant is so offensive to them!

Ill come 🎂🍾. As omnivorous as the next omnivore but I love eating in diffeeenr restaurants

I'm allergic to peanuts, tree nuts and legumes (beans, chickpeas, lentils, pulses). A vegan restaurant would be very dangerous with cross-contamination and they use a lot of those ingredients - for example chickpea water (known as aquafaba) is often used as a binding agent in vegan restaurants.

I cannot eat a healthy vegan diet - protein especially is a problem. I can eat a healthy non-vegan diet and that's what I do.

Christ, how pathetic do you have to be to not be able to manage one meal without meat 🙄

This is the best idea (minus the ‘sorry’ 😂) as they’ll sit there with faces like slapped arses if they do deign to come now!

Yanbu at all and I say that as a meat-eater who usually makes sure I get meat each meal because that's what's working for my health but you're a vegan it's your birthday and of course you should have the choice you want. Your family members are being very unreasonable. There's a huge difference in the enjoyability of a vegan meal at a vegan restaurant chosen from a variety of different vegan options and cooked by a chef who knows what they are doing to make a vegan meal perfect, compared to being stuck with the one vegan choice at an omnivore restaurant cooked by a chef that doesn't care about making vegan guests feel well satisfied.

You stick to your plans. Anyone who doesn't want to come to the place you chose doesn't have to.