Family unhappy to go to a vegan restaurant for my birthday

[HideTheDog]

It’s my birthday soon and I chose a vegan restaurant to eat at. It was only for me, my husband and children and they were all happy with the restaurant. It was booked weeks ago for 4.

Last weekend some of our family asked if they can join us for the meal so I asked for who wanted to come and increased the number of people on the booking. They knew it was a vegan restaurant.

Today I got a message from one of them to say that now there are more people and some don’t want to eat at a vegan restaurant, they think we should eat at another restaurant which serves non vegan food as well. I messaged back to say no and that I chose it because I like it and if anyone doesn’t want to come then to let me know so I can amend the booking again.

This person has obviously told the others and I’ve been invited into a WhatsApp group chat to discuss what we should do. 🤨 I’ve ignored joining their group chat and just sent another message saying it’s for my birthday and I picked the restaurant that suited the ones going originally, I won’t be changing the restaurant and if they want to go somewhere else they can. I’ve said I’m happy to go to another restaurant with them another time.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs. Is it really inflexible to want to go to a restaurant I choose on my birthday that was originally chosen and booked weeks ago for just the 4 of us? I don’t mind them coming, but I feel that they’ve tagged along and now want to change it to suit them.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs.

as well you should on your birthday! They are quite the CFs this bunch!

Your son is spot on…

I suggest you join the group chat, confirm with them all that you’ve amended the booking again for just the original 4 of you, and then leave the group chat 😆😆

but understand you might want to try a more gentle way of achieving the same 😀

I’m vegetarian and I’m sick of having one or two choices whilst everyone else pours over the menu taking ages to decide which one of 15 dishes they should go for.
yet when I suggest a vegetarian restaurant most object because there’s not enough choice.
Stick to your vegan restaurant and enjoy your birthday

I’d be tempted to do this too.

It’s your birthday, you choose. I’m sure they’d find something they’d like at this restaurant

YANBU. I'm not a vegan but would happily eat it for one meal if I wanted to share a celebration for a loved one.

What a bunch of twats. Who invites themselves and then decides the venue isn’t what they want. I’d tell them to leave it and just go back to your original plan.

It’s entirely your choice!! I’m definitely NOT vegan but I would have absolutely no objection to a vegan restaurant.

Really cheeky of them stick to your guns , I’m vegetarian and that always severely restricts choice when eating out for your special occasion it needs to be something you enjoy

Exactly! It's not like OP is trying to impose vegan Christmas dinner. People are allowed to eat what they want on their birthdays!

Your son is right. They shouldn't come as they will spoil it for you.

This is your birthday, you had chosen and booked the restaurant you wanted several weeks in advance. Who do they think they are muscling in uninvited and trying to demand that you change things?

Stick to your guns. If they want to go to a different restaurant then they can do that - without you and your family. Tell them that, and also tell them that if they cannot eat the food at your chosen restaurant without moaning then could they please do you all a favour and stay away.

Finally. A non-doormat on MN. Well done for standing your ground.

And as an omnivore, I feel contempt towards people who cannot cope with one meal in a vegan restaurant, unless there are medical reasons.

Same here. Wouldn’t be my choice but I’d suck it up and go. And I wouldn’t dream of saying anything because I have good manners. They are being incredibly rude and manipulative.

Your son is spot on.

Contact the restaurant, apologise and change your booking back to the original 4.
Tell the rest of them where they can go - helpfully, to the alternative restaurant as suggested by one of your relatives!

Happy Birthday🎈✨🎉

I agree with DS. I would make the booking for just the four of you and tell them that. Say you will see them another time.

I wouldn’t want to eat at a vegan only restaurant but it’s your birthday so eat where you want . If I was your guests I’d just decline the offer not expect you to change venue .

I went for dinner to a posh place last night and ‘accidentally’ chose a vegan meal. Because it looked like the most delicious thing on the menu!

Breathtaking entitlement to invite themselves to YOUR birthday meal and then try to change the venue - to the point of discussing it on WhatsApp !! Stick to your guns OP and don’t bother with WhatsApp - nothing to discuss. You and your family have chosen where you’re going. If they don’t like it they can celebrate with you another time.

What would happen to you if you ate a vegan meal?!

Absolutely stick to your guns about this. And thank you for not harming innocent animals to celebrate your birthday. Plant-based food is delicious - and cruelty-free of course. I hope you have a fab time!

Your son has a point to be fair.
and they are being ridiculous- they already knew you’d booked a vegan restaurant- it’s almost like they all joined in so they could change the venue. And honestly so many non vegan restaurants have pretty crap/ limited vegan options. they can choose on their birthdays

Not wanting to derail OPs thread, but if you choose to restrict your diet, then obviously the consequence of that is that you have less choices. It's not fair to expect those who haven't chosen to restrict their diet to be forced to restrict their diet because of your choices. Unless it's your birthday, of course, where it's perfectly reasonable to choose whatever restaurant you choose (as this thread pretty unanimously shows).

They are very rude.

Just ignore at this point. They clearly have zero boundaries