Family unhappy to go to a vegan restaurant for my birthday

[HideTheDog]

It’s my birthday soon and I chose a vegan restaurant to eat at. It was only for me, my husband and children and they were all happy with the restaurant. It was booked weeks ago for 4.

Last weekend some of our family asked if they can join us for the meal so I asked for who wanted to come and increased the number of people on the booking. They knew it was a vegan restaurant.

Today I got a message from one of them to say that now there are more people and some don’t want to eat at a vegan restaurant, they think we should eat at another restaurant which serves non vegan food as well. I messaged back to say no and that I chose it because I like it and if anyone doesn’t want to come then to let me know so I can amend the booking again.

This person has obviously told the others and I’ve been invited into a WhatsApp group chat to discuss what we should do. 🤨 I’ve ignored joining their group chat and just sent another message saying it’s for my birthday and I picked the restaurant that suited the ones going originally, I won’t be changing the restaurant and if they want to go somewhere else they can. I’ve said I’m happy to go to another restaurant with them another time.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs. Is it really inflexible to want to go to a restaurant I choose on my birthday that was originally chosen and booked weeks ago for just the 4 of us? I don’t mind them coming, but I feel that they’ve tagged along and now want to change it to suit them.

Your birthday, your choice. If they were more open-minded they would probably find that they enjoyed the food.

You’re really fortunate to have a vegan restaurant near you.
I’m glad you’re standing firm and going there with the support of your close family.
How cheeky to invite themselves and then expect you to change the venue that you’ve set your heart on I hope you have an amazing time and they love the food, which I’m sure they will.

ooh i love vegan restaurants and im not a vegan

They need to broaden their horizons. Fools

I absolutely love going to Mildreds in London 🤤

I don't think you know what virtue signalling means.

Not selfish at all, your birthday and your OG group agreed. I hate this for you. I once invited family to an Easter lunch, my daughter wasnt coming originally then changed her mind and wanted a tea party for my Dgds birthday. Huge row ensued. I am happy to agree with a vegan for the 1st time ever.

Your birthday, your plans, your choice. YANBU

Personally I don't like vegan restaurants because they're an intolerance minefield for me as so much of the food contains soya, and menus and allergy codes don't tend to be clear about whether they're flagging forms of soya (eg lecithins or soy sauce) that I can tolerate, or whether it's laxitive levels of beans/ flour/ "milk". I find the labelling of "plant based" foods can be quite obscure about what it actually is if it's not something simple and naturally vegan (e.g. potato, salad). That doesn't mean that I need meat with every meal, and I quite often choose vegetarian options, and yes my diet includes things that are naturally vegan (which reminds me that I need to portion and freeze my vegetable soup...)

Annoyingly the last vegan restaurant I went to also only sold diet drinks that weren't flagged up as containing artificial sweetners. Normally things like independent brands of sparkling elderflower are a safe bet, so I ended up wasting money on an undrinkable over-priced drink to not wash down the only non-laxitive item on the menu.

Unfortunately talking to staff about ingredients usually results in just having the same (non)information from the menu repeated to you.

It's the clarity/labelling of what the food is that I struggle with, not the principle of it being vegan.

Your birthday, your choice. I’m definitely not a vegan, but what harm does it do to experience something a bit different once in a while? It might even be nice!

OP if you’re going to Mildred’s then their food is fabulous. My friend suggested it, I was a bit if we must about it. She loved Cranks which was the most (imho) bland and beige vegan food you could get, so I was suspicious. But Mildred’s was so different and tasty. I’m a convert and the tag-alongs should suck it up and try it.